


Around the Corner (My Very Personal Christmas Shopper)

by Crazyheart



Series: Apps of Love [4]
Category: SKAM (Norway), SKAM (TV), The Shop Around the Corner (1940)
Genre: Anger, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bah humbug!, Banter, Bickering, Boys In Love, Christmas, Christmas Presents, Co-workers, Communication, Evakteket Challenge, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Hate to Love, Holiday movie AU, M/M, POV Isak Valtersen, Slow Burn, Smut, anonymous texting, another app, any OOC behavior will be explained - hang in there!, dorky boys, i definitely have a thing for apps, it's a slow burn after all, slightly OOC Jonas, snowglobe, the first chapter is smut-free but there will be smut eventually, well as slow burn as I can manage, well it's more uncomfortable attraction coupled with vague jealousy to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-02-17 10:43:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 51,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13075200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazyheart/pseuds/Crazyheart
Summary: Isak (22) works in a record shop for Jonas. Isak’s best colleague and friend is Eva, who works in the shop, too. Isak is still in the closet. He says things as he thinks, though. Doesn't like snowglobes. Even (24) comes and asks for a job. The two get off on the wrong foot, although Isak finds Even irritatingly attractive.To complicate things, Isak has just gotten a personal Christmas gift shopper, who turns out to be a very romantic gift shopper, and who doesn't shy away from a little flirting.This is a Holiday movie AU (inspired by “The Shop around the corner”), and it's part of the Evakteket Christmas Challenge. The two other prompts were “Bah, humbug!» and Snowglobe.





	1. The Snowglobe

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the Evakteket Christmas challenge. A Holiday movie AU (inspired by “The Shop around the corner” from 1940). I know I'm not the first to write this type of fic within the Skam fandom, with anonymous messages and slight hate to love vibes, but I'm maybe the first to go back to the source. Lol.  
> The two other prompts were “Bah, humbug!» and Snowglobe. That fitted perfectly, really!
> 
> Before we begin. THANK you so much, my lovely betas!!! I feel like I have an army of supporters. Or maybe an army of Christmas Elves who gives the text a magical touch, lol. Thank you [@coolauntskam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolauntskam/profile), for inspiring me with ideas for the record shop! [@twoenns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoenns/pseuds/twoenns), you're the best, thank you so much for seeing all the details that I miss! I am so glad that I dared to ask you to help!!! And [@rumpelsnorcack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rumpelsnorcack/pseuds/rumpelsnorcack) and [@arindwell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arindwell/pseuds/arindwell), thanks a lot for taking an extra look at the buildup, although my plan was to spare you this time... lol. Thanks a lot, guys!
> 
> I hope you like this - please let me know if you do. <3

_Hi, Isak. I’m your Personal Christmas Shopper, Even. :) How can I help you?_

_Hi, I need some help finding gifts for my friends and family. I don’t have the time. And I don’t want to take the time, to be honest._

_Fair enough! :) So how many giftees and what price range are we talking about?_

_I don’t have that many. Seven in the family and five, no, wait, eight friends. I can send you a list of first names, ages, interests and price range_

_Thank you for the list. Very organized. Impressive. :) And you’ve got a lot of friends._

_Yeah, sometimes friends are family, right?_

_I suppose that’s true, yeah! :) I can look at your list and suggestions and come back to you with some recommendations?_

_Sounds great. :)_

 

Isak loves the idea of a personal shopper. The idea of a personal _Christmas shopper_ is amazing, and the fact that he can contact his shopper through a nice and tidy _app_ , is just like a wet dream. Isak likes gizmos and technological things, and an app like this pushes all the right buttons.

There’s snow in the air and every breath is a puff of frost smoke from his mouth and nose. Isak is on his way to his job, at the little record shop he’s been working in the last two years, admitting to himself that it’s a little silly to use an app for this. A waste of money, really. He’s a young, single guy who could manage his Christmas shopping just fine by himself. He just doesn’t want to.

He picks up his phone when he hears another ping from the app.

_Hi, Isak! I noticed that you want to give one of your friends, Sana, a gift that’s “not Christmassy”. Can you say a little bit more?_

_Sure. She’s Muslim. I just want to give her something to show that I appreciate her, but not as a Christmas gift. I jotted down some words about stuff she might like, right?_

_Yes, got it. :) You’re a good guy, Isak. You have really put thought into your suggestions._

_Nah, I just know what my friends like._

_Well, not everyone does. :)_

_I’m just glad you’re taking care of this. So I don’t end up buying something stupid._

_Hah! :) What’s the worst purchase you ever made? Or the worst gift?_

_Idk. Well, I joined in on a present from my extended family to my parents once. It was a night at a hotel and a ticket to a New Year's concert. It was horrible. Mom was anxious about all the people and Dad got a little too drunk. This was the year before they split up._

_Ouch. <3 Your gifts to them this year seems pretty safe in comparison. _

_Yeah. :)_

_Okay, Isak. I’ve got some suggestions for your other gifts and where I can go to find them, you can see the list in the app. Let me know if you want to change something._

_Thanks. Sounds perfect, I’ll look at it later. *Thumbs up*_

_*Shopping Cart Santa* *Thumbs up*_

 

Isak grins, looking at the emojis. Cute.

– Morning, Isak, Eva says. She is just opening up the shop, as Isak approaches her. Her chestnut brown hair is falling softly on her shoulders and she looks annoyingly fresh and awake.

– Yo, Isak says, still a little charmed by the message, and still a little sleepy, as he so often is in the morning. He gives his friend a hug. – You’re early, he adds.

– Just like _you_ always are, Eva laughs as she walks into the record shop. – Just a pity it doesn’t get us a raise.

– Huh, yeah.

They get inside and hang up their jackets, scarves and beanies and go about their morning routines, and Isak puts on the coffee. He always needs a coffee to start feeling awake and ready for the day.

He likes his work at “Around the Corner”. Jonas had let him start working at the record shop around the time when he had a small crisis at university and was struggling to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. Working with music for a while seemed to be a nice alternative. And it has turned out to be okay. Of course, it bugs Isak a little to see how hard his friend Sana works as a med student, or how Magnus thrives studying psychology (like, who would have thought?), how Mahdi is studying history, and how Noora loves that she’s on her way to becoming a journalist. Isak should be studying, too. It’s what he’s good at. But for the time being, this job isn’t half bad.

Jonas has to be one of the youngest record shop owners in the country, since he inherited it from an uncle when he was only twenty. Isak teases him repeatedly about the fact that he has become a part of the capitalistic forces he used to rant about when they went to Nissen. It never works. – We sell music, Isak, Jonas just says, every time. – We give people experiences and memories. That’s so much better than selling shit that fills up your house.

Although Jonas makes Isak think about his own wall filled with records and books, he doesn’t ever correct Jonas. This shop makes Jonas happy, and Isak doesn’t have it in him to taint that happiness.

He just hopes that they’ll manage to make this shop survive. It’s not like the customers come running, now that you can stream almost everything anyway. Luckily, Jonas has been smart about it. He has hired people he knows well, and who know what they are doing, and they have managed to make the shop work. Isak knows that they probably should have specialized more; right now the shop is a little too mainstream to survive in the long run, but it doesn’t do too badly.

Isak knows that they need to do something about their online orders and update their inventory, though. In his opinion they also need to start to bring in cooler items like cool t-shirts or maybe some interesting things made from local artists. But Jonas is mostly focused on keeping things as it is. Furthermore, he has a lot of paperwork to do at the moment, and can’t help much in the shop, or argue about inventory. Isak suspects that doing the paperwork is something Jonas really, really hates. And it’s a thing he could have asked Isak to help him with. Isak doesn’t mind paperwork at all. But for some reason, Jonas never asks. Isak doesn’t get it.

Isak’s phone pings again. It’s the Christmas shopper app. _Damn, this personal shopper guy is eager!_ Isak smiles and leans on the counter, looking at his phone.

_Hi, Isak! I’m having a little trouble finding the book you mentioned for your friend Jonas. Would it be okay if I ordered it online? It would probably arrive in a couple of days._

_Of course, that would be cool. :)_

_Do you mind if I ask if he’s your love interest? Your special someone? :) It seems like you put a lot of thought into the gift. If so, I could make the wrapping special._

_No! No, he’s not. Just my friend._

Isak feels the urge to write that he’s not gay, like he always says, but something holds him back. He probably won’t meet this guy more than once, anyway. Who cares if he guesses that Isak likes boys?

_I don’t have a special someone in my life, to be honest._

_Well, then that makes two of us, Isak. Do you like someone?_

_Nah, I don’t._

_Maybe you’ll be lucky. Maybe your Christmas gift will be to meet someone to fall in love with? :)_

_That would be something. :) I kind of miss flirting, and falling in love would be nice._

_If you like, you can always flirt a little with me, Isak ;) <3 I miss flirting, too. _

Isak stares at the text, feeling his heart beat fast and hard in his chest. _Flirt with a guy?_ Just like that? But what should he say?

He jumps as Sara suddenly enters the shop. Isak recalls with a sigh that Jonas had decided that they all have to work today, since it’s almost Christmas, and they have a bit more business than usual because of the Christmas shopping. They need more people to help the customers, and do all the other things that need to be done. They have already rewritten all the signs about the sale, but they need to restock the records, and price box sets on sale since they make great gifts. It’s no doubt they have enough to do.

– Hi, Sara says to Isak as she throws her blonde hair back and hangs up her luxurious coat. Isak stares at her from the counter. How she manages to afford something like that on her salary, Isak doesn’t get. She isn’t the most pleasant of his co-workers, either, and she reminds him a little too much about the fact that she used to be his fake girlfriend. She reminds him of the fact that he stilI hasn't told anyone that he likes boys. Well, at least she is a good salesperson.

– Hi, Sara, Eva says, as she comes from the back of the shop. She leans on the counter next to Isak.

Sara smiles coolly before she sighs and starts sorting some of the records.

– So, Isak, Eva says in her warm voice and bumps into his shoulder in a friendly way. – Is the boss here, yet?

Eva got the role as Jonas’ assistant, and she’s damn good at it, too. At least when it comes to fixing things. Paperwork isn’t her favourite job either; Jonas and Eva have that in common. She’s a miracle worker when it comes to making things happen, though. And as the people person she is, Eva probably would do even better selling stuff than she is at assisting.

– Nah, I guess Jonas is coming soon, Isak says.

Eva sighs. – Well, he made me run errands long after the shop closed yesterday, so I hope he hasn’t piled up loads of errands for me today, too.

– Yeah.

Isak watches her carefully. He remembers back in Grefsen school and Nissen, when Jonas admitted that he had a crush on Eva, although he was with her best friend Ingrid. Isak always had the impression that Eva liked Jonas, too, but nothing ever happened. Instead, Eva hung with them as friends from time to time. When they started first year at Nissen, Eva had slowly drifted away from Ingrid and started to hang out more with some other girls.

Isak wonders for a moment if things would have been different if Jonas and Eva had gotten together back then. However, now Jonas is living with Ingrid, and Eva seems to never settle down with anyone. Well, she has snogged Sara at a party or two, but it never appeared to lead to anything. Maybe Sara is closeted? Isak has wondered more than once if Sara’s relationship with him at Grefsen and Nissen was sort of fake, too. She never seemed that interested in intimacy.

– What are you thinking about? Eva asks. – Was it alright at Jonas’ house yesterday?

Isak takes a moment to clear his head. He smiles. – Yeah, sure. It was dinner, you know. We just ate some good food, chilled and talked.

It’s always nice to hang with Jonas, although things have become a tiny bit strange after Isak started to work for him. It usually helped if Mahdi and Magnus were there, but yesterday it had only been Isak, Jonas and Ingrid, and it was a little tense. It seemed like Jonas didn’t know how to be a friend and boss at the same time. He was unusually grumpy. It could be because of worries about the shop, of course. Something was off between Ingrid and Jonas, too, but it was hard to pinpoint what.

Eva has a teasing look on her face. – So, are you a partner now?

Isak grimaces. – Shut up, of course not.

In truth, Isak would like a raise, or at least more interesting tasks. More importantly, it would be good for the shop. It’s pretty clear that Jonas is overworked with all the paperwork and worries about the shop, and needs help with managing the store. He has a big heart for the store and the music and should be doing recommendations and not be drowning himself in the numbers. Isak’s sure he could do a good job as a sales manager. He could do a great job helping with the inventory and the paperwork, too. He’s good at planning and knowing what works and what doesn’t. But Jonas seems reluctant to do him any favours, like giving him a job like that.

– Good morning, everyone, Jonas says as he enters the shop.

– Yo, Jonas, Isak says, looking at his boss and best friend. Jonas’s dark curls are messy and he looks tired. He looks a little moody, too, and Isak isn’t surprised. Jonas has appeared more than a little moody lately. Maybe it’s troubles at home. Or worries about the shop. Maybe both, who knows. Jonas disappears into his office.

Eva looks at Isak and shrugs. It seems like she noticed that something’s off, too. Isak and Eva start up tidying up in the shelves so they can make a "top sellers of 2021" section for holiday shoppers. It’s one of the things that works in this shop.

Isak can’t stop thinking about his personal Christmas shopper Even, though. The last text had really made him sweat. Fuck, he never answered. He checks his phone and finds several new texts on the shopping app.

_I’m sorry if that was too forward, Isak. Or maybe creepy. I’m not really creepy, I promise. Although I would say that if I was, too, I suppose. I should shut up now._

_Isak? Are you there?_

_Isak, I’m sorry. I just thought that a little harmless flirting could be fun, I don’t know. It was a silly suggestion._

_But of course, we can keep everything professional. I’m good at that. So I’ll wait to hear if you have comments on the gift list. :)_

Isak stares at the texts, feeling like he’s about to explode. This Even guy really wants to flirt with him, it seems. But what does that mean?

_I don’t know, Even, I’m not really good at flirting, I think. My friends keep telling me I’ve lost my game. But I don’t mind texting a little. You seem like a half-decent guy, I guess ;) <3 _

_Lost your game? Hah! ;) And for the record I’m more than half decent, Isak. Well, I hope I am. <3 _

Isak stares at the text, feeling the heartbeat in his chest and the heat in his ears as he reads the next one, too.

_I thought you had enough of me, Isak..._

Isak stares at the following words. _God, this is fucking good._ Even is a fucking master at flirting. Or a very, very strange person. Or both. Isak needs to share it with someone. He’s not the kind of guy who shares everything with his friends but this is too wild. He has to.

– Eva, he says, with a beating heart. – Want to hear something nice? Or strange? It depends on how you look at it.

Eva smiles and comes closer. – Yes. What is it?  
  
Isak bites his lip. – A text from someone. Listen: "I thought you had enough of me, Isak. But then I heard the ping. My heart was beating so fast as I opened the app, and there you were. I clicked and read you…  read you right there… oh, Isak. I think I’m getting addicted to chatting with you”.

Eva makes big eyes. –  What’s all this, Isak? Is it a girl? Or what?

Isak avoids answering directly like he always does when he gets these types of questions. – You see, I needed help to buy Christmas presents...  

Eva makes a face. – Christmas presents? What the fuck are you talking about?

Isak shrugs. – You know I’m busy, and that I never have time to buy presents. And when I finally buy something, I end up buying something that nobody needs or wants.

– Bullshit. Your presents are always nice, Isak. But yeah, I get that you don’t like shopping. Tell me, what has all this to do with that text?

– I saw this ad, for a new app. Wait a minute, I have it right here. Read that.

Eva looks on his phone:

_Simplify your Christmas shopping. You can lean back and enjoy the time before Christmas while Your Personal Christmas Shopper buys, packs and delivers your presents!_

– Uh, okay?

Isak grins. – I downloaded the app, got a personal shopper, and now we have started to chat. It’s become a little… flirty, actually.

– Cool! Eva smiles, and she actually looks excited. – It’s about time! I mean, I haven’t seen you flirting with anyone since you dated Sara back when we were at Nissen.

 _Well, that's a depressing thought_ . Isak doesn’t comment, he doesn’t know how to.  
       
Eva winks to him. – How long has this been going on?

– We’ve been chatting today. And well… I guess that we have sort of clicked, and I’m kind of… smitten.

Fuck, it’s difficult not to say he and him. _Him, him, him_ . I like him.  
  
Isak doesn’t know what possesses him, but he shows Eva some of the texts that pour in on his phone.

– Look at this, he says.

_You know, this could be a great opportunity to get to know each other without expectations._

_Yeah, you’ve got a point. I’m kind of tired of living up to others’ expectations._

_Are you tall? Are you short? Are your eyes blue? Are they brown? Don't tell me. What does it matter so long as our minds meet?_

_:) That’s true, it doesn’t matter._

Isak is quick to take the phone from Eva before she sees a text with Even’s name. Isak hasn’t dared to put his name in as a contact yet. A single heart is still the contact name.

Eva just laughs, shakes her head and continues to work. – I didn’t know you were such a romantic, she says.

Isak doesn’t comment. He allows himself to look on his phone for just a little longer, though.  

_We have enough troubles in our daily lives, right, Isak? There are so many great and beautiful things to discuss in this world of ours that it would be wasting precious moments if we told each other the vulgar details of how we earn our daily bread, so let's not do that._

_Tell me, are you quoting a movie, Even?_

_Why? :)_

_It sounds like it!_

_Lol yeah, it’s a Christmas movie, actually. “The Shop Around the Corner” from 1940. Very fitting right now right before Christmas, I thought. :) And I think it’s true, too._

_So, you’re a movie nerd?_

_You can say that yeah. <3 _

_Hm yeah, well, you’re right, I suppose. We know each other’s names, but we don’t need to share other details if you don’t want to. As long as we’re honest._

_Cool. I can do honest. We’ll meet when I deliver your gifts anyway. Right?_

_Right. Okay. Gotta go. Work._

_Later, Isak <3 _

_Later <3 _

 

– Isak? Jonas calls, and Isak tucks his phone away.

He turns to face his boss. – Yeah, Jonas?

Jonas has a snowglobe in his hand as he approaches Isak. – I can buy two dozen of these snowglobes at Miklos Brothers. What do you think of it? You always say we should bring in more cool stuff and not just records. I think it's great. Kind of romantic, and it fits well with Christmas coming up, right?

Jonas hands him the snowglobe and Isak stares at it in his hand. There’s nothing great about it in his eyes. It’s like any other Christmas ornament. A small fjøsnisse is playing a fiddle in the snow. The little barn goblin is cute in his red hat, of course, but Isak still doesn’t like it. The whole thing is tacky with glitter and bright colours. It has nothing to do with a record shop. He doesn’t know what to say.

– Well, shake it, Jonas says.

Isak shakes it, and when the snow starts to whirl around, music fills the room. _Oh my god_. That’s even worse. He frowns. – No, Jonas, it's just not for us.

Jonas looks a little annoyed. – But you haven't listened to it. It plays Jingle Bells. It can play different Christmas tunes, actually. It’s cute.

Isak shakes his head. – Even if it played Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, I'd still say no. I just don't like the idea.

Jonas sighs. It’s pretty clear that he’s annoyed right now. – It's wonderful how you make up your mind so quickly, Isak. I've been in this business for two years now. It took me a whole hour to decide that I like this snowglobe. But, of course, you're a _genius_. You know so much more than I do.

The sarcasm is a little much, in Isak’s opinion. Jonas really isn’t himself at the moment. Isak decides to keep his mouth shut.

Jonas turns around then. – Eva?

– Yeah, Jonas? Eva smiles and comes closer.

Jonas falters for a moment, and then he looks away. – Uhm… And Sara?

– Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.

Sara comes over and stands next to Isak and Eva.

– Look here, what do you think of this? Jonas asks them both. – I want your honest opinion. Don't let me influence you. All I want is your honest opinion.

Isak smiles a little as he sees the slight panic in Eva’s eyes. She hates it when Jonas asks her for her honest opinion. Isak gets her, although he decided a long time ago that he’ll never say something he doesn’t mean, just because Jonas is his boss.

– Well, Eva?

Eva stares at the snowglobe. – I think people who love Christmas and snow and Jingle Bells will like it.

 _Well, that was diplomatic_. Isak sends her a crooked smile.

– I’d even go further, Sara says, looking like she’s about to lay it on thick. She smiles a wide and shining smile. – I think it’ll make music lovers out of people who love Christmas and Christmas lovers out of music lovers. It’s sensational.

Jonas raises his impressive eyebrows. – Yes, well. So, what do you say, Isak?

Isak shrugs. – I still hate it.

– Isak, you’re such a Scrooge, Eva snorts. – The snowglobe is cute!

– Bah, humbug, Isak says, shrugging again. Then he smiles a little at her. Eva is not totally wrong, after all. He has some issues with the holiday. It hasn’t always been fun, and some of the things about Christmas only make him irritable.

Jonas looks more than a little irritated now. – Well, give me one reason for hating it.

Isak thinks for a moment. – That Jingle Bells tune is fucking irritating, and the snowglobe is a cheap production. In two weeks it’ll fall apart. If you want to bring in special things, find something cool. Something that makes people come inside to buy vinyl or cool t-shirts or something.

– Yeah, yeah, Jonas sighs. – You sell things and let _me_ do the buying, Isak, he says and turns to go into his office.

Isak stares after him. Something’s really off with Jonas. Of course, Jonas can be irritable at times, but not like this. Has something happened?

– Excuse me, Jonas? Eva calls after him.

– Yes? Jonas is quick to answer. Isak can’t help but notice the sparkle in his eyes when he turns and looks at Eva. Fuck, what’s his deal?

– Miklos Brothers is calling about the snow globe, Eva says.

Jonas looks stressed out as he takes the phone. – Yeah, hello, Jonas here! Can I call you back in about five minutes? I'd like a little more time to think about it…. No, no, it's not the price.

He sighs and looks like he doesn’t want to take the phone call here in the open. He turns and goes to his office. – It's just that I'm not quite sure about the whole idea…. Yes. What? You can't expect me to make up my mind in five minutes! If that's the case, then I'll have to say no. I'm sorry.  
  
Just at that moment, Isak looks up as someone enters the shop, and _oh_ , what a sight. Isak’s brain has just the time to yell _handsome_ , before he turns his gaze away and shuffles some papers behind the counter. _God_ , he needs to keep his shit together. He realizes that he needs to look up. _Oh. Oh dear._ Tall, slender, clear blue eyes and a wide smile.

Isak needs to concentrate, not to drool. – Good morning, he says and puts on his best smile.

– Good morning, the stranger says and smiles back. His eyes meet Isak’s for a moment before he comes closer and looks at one of the records by the desk.

– It’s a good record, Isak starts.

The guy nods and smiles. He throws another quick glance at Isak. – Yeah, very.

Isak goes into sales mode, talking about the album and similar albums they have. Something about the guy makes Isak want to impress. Maybe it’s the way the guy seems so cool, and beautiful, and slightly hipster-ish. He looks like he knows what music is cool and what isn’t. Or maybe it’s the way his eyes linger on Isak’s face as he talks. Either way, Isak pulls one impressive fact after the other out and hopes that it works. He doesn’t give up before the other guy stops him with a look and a half-raised hand like he’s about to touch Isak’s arm.

– I really didn't come in to buy a record, the beautiful man says, and withdraws his hand.

– I’m sorry, Isak is quick to say. He takes a deep breath. – What can I show you?

Blue blue eyes meet his. – To tell you the truth, I really didn't come in to buy anything.  
  
_Oh crap._ Isak feels embarrassed that he’d ranted about the music, without checking out what the customer really wanted. Such a beginner’s mistake.

– That's perfectly alright, he smiles. – If you wish to look around, make yourself at home.  
  
– Yes, thanks, the guy nods. – That’s cool. But I wonder if I could see Jonas Vasquez. The owner.

 _Oh._ That would be a terrible idea. Jonas isn’t in the best mood to talk to customers right now. Isak hesitates for a moment. – Unfortunately, Jonas is quite busy at the moment. I could call him if you wanted.

The guy smiles a wonderful smile. – I'd appreciate it, thanks.

Isak shifts his feet, unwilling to let the guy go just yet. – If you tell me your wishes, it's possible I could take care of them. I mean, I could help you.

 _Fuck, what’s wrong with him today?_ – Uhm, I mean, if you tell me what you’re looking for, I can point you in the right direction.

Isak can’t believe he’s this flustered.

The customer looks at him with a strange look in his eyes. He finally tears his eyes off Isak and looks around. – Well, uhm, I noticed in your shop window that you're having a sale.

– Yes, everything in the shop is marked down 30%... some items even more.

And well, maybe Isak gets a little eager as the stranger watches him. He tells the guy everything about their sales, talking way too much. Well, he’s nervous. _Why is he so nervous_?

– Yes, uh, that's a wonderful bargain, the man in front of him says as Isak’s rant ends, looking a little lost for a moment. He brushes his hand through his hair. Why does he look so lost? And how can he look so lost and hot at the same time?

– Everything in the shop is a bargain today, Isak says, in the lack of anything else to say.

The guy nods, too. – So, I imagine you'll be doing big business.

Big business is maybe a stretch. But Isak won’t admit that.

– I have no doubt about it, he says. – You were very wise to come early. There’ll be such a rush, we won't be able to help all the customers.

– Maybe you should take on extra help? the guy says then, and now there’s something like hope in his eyes.

– We probably will, Isak says.

The blue-eyed guy smiles then, a wide smile. – Maybe you could use me? he asks, eagerly. – Uhm, I mean, maybe I could help? I'm looking for a job.

 _Looking for a job?_ Isak stares at him. He can’t help feeling a little annoyed. – That wasn't very nice, letting me go through the whole sales routine.

The guy’s smile doesn’t falter. – I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to.

He doesn’t look that sorry at all, actually. He looks at Isak with a sort of amused fondness mixed with hope and Isak doesn’t know what to do about it.

– Could you help me get a job here? the guy asks.

Isak shakes his head, knowing that Jonas never would hire someone in the mood he’s in right now. The shop doesn’t need more people, either. – I'd like to, but there's no opening.

– But you just told me you'd need some extra people because of the rush.

Isak shrugs. – Well. I might have been exaggerating. Look around for yourself. You can see what kind of business we're doing.

The guy looks around in the almost empty shop, but he still doesn’t budge. – I just need a chance. May I tell you my qualifications?

Isak almost feels bad for him. – If I could do anything for you, I would.

– I have worked in shops like this before. At Platekompaniet, for instance.

– I know the situation around here, and there's no chance. If it was up to me, I'd put you to work. But I'm not the boss.

The guy frowns. – Then why won't you let me see him?

Isak hesitates again. – It’s just… He's in sort of a bad mood today. A very bad mood.

– I'll take a chance, the guy smiles. – Maybe I can cheer him up.

Isak snorts. He knows Jonas. He knows it’s hopeless. And this guy’s stubbornness is just… too much. Can’t he just let it be? Isak starts to get annoyed to the point where he can’t stop himself. – Listen. I know Jonas inside out. I can predict his every reaction. I could tell you word for word exactly what he'll say.

Of course, that’s the moment when Jonas turns up, right behind him. – Say _what_?

Isak groans internally. _Of fucking course_.

– Isak. So, you know every reaction of mine? Jonas asks, staring at him with badly hidden anger in his eyes. – You know me inside out? You know what I think, even before I’ve thought of it. You're not only a genius, you're a mind reader.

– Jonas…

– Never mind, Jonas says, takes a deep breath and smiles to the stranger. – Good morning. I am Jonas Noah Vasquez. I don't know what the difficulty is… but I can assure you, that the word "impossible"...is not in the vocabulary of Around the Corner.

The customer smiles widely. – I am so happy to hear you say that!

Jonas looks baffled when he smiles back. – I mean it.  
  
– I was at Platekompaniet… the other guy begins.  
  
Jonas goes into sales mode. – Oh, I'm sure you'll find much better records and good deals in my shop.

The handsome guy shakes his head. – No, I mean, I _worked_ there. I'm looking for a job.

Jonas stares at him and frowns. – No, no, that's impossible. It's out of the question.

– But…

The lost look on the other guy’s face does something to Isak, although it shouldn’t.

– I have no time, Jonas says then. Isak knows how Jonas hates to say no. That’s maybe why he does it so badly. – I'm very busy. I'm very sorry. I'm afraid you're just wasting your time.

The guy isn’t ready to give up yet, it seems. – I really need a job, and I know I could do a great job. I brought my CV.  
  
Jonas shakes his head. –  I don't know what to tell you, he says. – There’s no opening. Maybe after inventory.

– When will that be?

– In a week or so.

The guy nods then. He smiles a little. – Well, thank you so much for listening to me. Please, may I leave my CV, number and address?

Jonas sighs, but he nods. –  If we need anybody, you'll be the first.

– Thanks a lot! My name is Even Bech Næsheim, and this is my number and address.

 _Even_ , Isak thinks for a moment and amuses himself imagining if his very own Christmas shopper Even was like this guy. _Wow_. That would be something. Even is a common name, though. It’s not very likely.

– Thank you, Jonas says. Then, he gives Isak a stern look and gestures him into the office.

– Yes, Jonas? Isak mumbles, knowing that his friend and boss is pissed off. And more than usual, for some reason.

Jonas sits down with another sigh. He looks angry, but mostly tired. Isak wonders why. Can the shop be struggling so much? Is that the reason why Jonas is like this? Or is it something personal? Can Isak have said something stupid again? But what could that have been?

– Close the door, Jonas says.

Isak does.

– What the fuck, Isak? Jonas groans. – Why did you put me in that situation in front of the whole shop?

Isak sighs. – I'm very sorry, but it wasn’t really my fault.

Jonas gives him an incredulous stare. – Whose fault was it? _Mine?_

Isak puts out his chin in a stubborn posture. – Yes.

Well, it was that customer’s fault, too, of course. But Jonas had definitely had a part in it.

It’s like the air goes out of Jonas, and he just shakes his head. For a moment, it’s like he looks sad. He looks at his desk, where there’s a photo of his Ingrid. _What’s the matter with him?_ Isak wonders again. Could he be struggling at home? Isak has never seen Jonas as irritable as he is right now. Fair enough that Isak doesn’t always agree with him, and that they often bicker about what to do with the shop, but… This must be about something else.

– I’m, sorry, Isak, I just don’t understand anything at the moment and… What's the matter with you? Jonas asks. – I mean… You're my oldest friend and best employee. I do everything I can to show my appreciation. I ask you to my house, too.

Isak frowns. Jonas sounds like Isak has hurt him somehow. This is really weird. – I'm glad you do, Jonas, he tries.

– Fuck, you have a funny way of showing it. You know how much I value your judgment… and on every occasion you contradict me. Whatever I say, you say, "no."

Isak stares at Jonas, suddenly feeling hot in his cheeks. Jonas can’t possibly mean that Isak should say yes to _everything_? Like a puppet? Fuck this shit. Isak suddenly is pissed off, too. – Fine, he says. – From now on, I say, "yes." Yes, Jonas. Certainly, Jonas. Yes, Jonas. Are you happy now?

Jonas stares back. – Yes, I am, actually, he says, looking just as stubborn as Isak feels. – So. That was a nice dinner last night, wasn’t it?

Isak bites his teeth together. – Yes, Jonas.

Jonas’ stare is a dare. – Yes, I had a lot of fun, didn't you?

Isak nods. – Yes.

Jonas leans back in his chair. – Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself so much, he says, and suddenly he’s looking sad again. He sighs. – Fuck, I’m sorry, Isak. Of course, you’re entitled to your own opinions. I just… I guess I have been a little stressed out lately. It _was_ nice of you to come to our dinner yesterday.

Isak takes a deep breath and lets it out. – It’s okay. I mean. We all have bad days. I have had my fair share, too.

Jonas smiles at that. He looks a little distant like he has something on his mind. – That little poem that you wrote to Ingrid… did you make that up yourself?

Isak shrugs. – It was sort of half and half.

– How do you mean?

Isak had to smile. – Half Shakespeare and half me. I just changed the lines around to suit the occasion. I made that last line rhyme with Ingrid, that's all.

Jonas smiles a little, but looked closely at him, like he’s assessing something. – Ingrid liked it very much.

– Thanks, that’s cool.

Jonas nods. – I believe Ingrid thinks a lot of you.

Isak shrugs. – And you know, I think a lot of Ingrid, too.

 _Well, she’s alright_ , he admits to himself. She’s a little needy and probably not the one for Jonas in the long run, but she’s not too bad. He used to be jealous of her, back when he had his hopeless crush in Jonas. But that’s a long time ago now, and Isak has learned to like her.

Just then, someone knocks on the door.

–  Yeah? Jonas yells, and suddenly that guy Even is in the doorway. A lock of his soft, dark blond hair has fallen onto his forehead. Cute. – Hi, he says, smiling.

 _Gosh_ , that smile... Isak’s heart flutters against his will.

–  Look, there's no use waiting now, Jonas says. He sits juggling the horrible snowglobe in his hand. –  Believe me. If there's an opening, you'll be the first to know.

– Okay, Even nods. – I just wanted to say thanks for listening to me.

Isak has to admit to himself that he would have listened to that guy for hours, if he could. His voice is so soft and warm, and the thought of never hearing it again is a bit sad.

– That’s alright, Jonas says as he stares at the snowglobe in his hand. –  Just a moment. Tell me, would you buy a snowglobe like this?

Even snorts. –  I’m sorry, I couldn't buy anything at the moment.

Jonas stares at Isak for a moment. – No, I want your opinion, Even. Your honest opinion. Now, don't let me influence you. I just want your opinion. Do you like this snowglobe?

Even comes closer. He picks up the snowglobe and shakes it a little. Something about the snow and the music makes him smile. – Yes, I do. I think it's lovely.

 _Of course, he does._ Isak sighs.

Jonas sends Isak a long look. It’s like he’s trying to say «I told you so». – Yes, it is, he nods. – Why?

– Why? Ëven sends Isak a quick look and smiles again. – I think it's romantic.

– What's romantic about it? Isak asks. Although he tries not to sound grumpy and irritated, he probably does.

Even’s smile is a slow one. – Well, snowglobe and music, I don't know. It makes me think of moonlight and… snow, Christmas and music.

Jonas grins. – See? There's the lovely romantic point of view.

– Yes, Jonas, I guess you’re right, Even nods. – I am a hopeless romantic, to be honest. How much are you selling it for?

– Let me see… Fifty kroner, I suppose.

Even raises his eyebrows, smiling. – That's a bargain! That's a real bargain!

He leaves the office with the snowglobe in his hand, and out of curiosity, Isak follows him. Jonas does, too.

Even then goes up to one of the customers in the shop, one who’s studying the snowglobes lying by the desk.

– Good morning, Even says. –  It's a lovely snowglobe, isn't it?

Isak watches him smile at the customer, and fuck, his smile is irritatingly charming.

– Yeah, the customer guy says, looking a little mezmerised.

– Yes, and I should say, a very unusual one. It plays music, see?

The customer frowns then, and Isak can’t help sending Jonas a «told you so» look. Two can play that game!

– No, that would never do, the customer says. – Where do people get ideas like that?

Isak couldn’t agree more.

Even doesn’t seem worried. He just cocks his head and smiles. – It is romantic though, right? Imagine, what your special loved one would think about it?

The customer looks in doubt. – I couldn't buy a thing like that, though. Too silly.

– I know just what you mean, Even nods. – Yet some customers love it for being just that! We've sold quite a few, actually.

 _Oh_. Isak hides a smile, biting his cheek. This Even knows his shit.

– Really?

– Yes, we have. And it’s just 80 kroner. It’s a bargain. And if you find a nice record for your special someone, you can get this snowglobe for 50 kroner.

The customer looks thoughtful. – Well, that’s a good deal, of course. Could you recommend a record?

– I sure could!

Isak stares at Even, as he closes the deal, selling the customer not only one record, but three, and selling the fucking snowglobe, too. He even uses a couple of Isak’s own recommendations. _Fuck, he’s good._

As Isak sees Jonas’ grin, he knows that this Even guy has a job at “Around the Corner”. Isak doesn’t quite know why that bothers him, but it does. He begrudgingly admits to himself his attraction to this Even guy. He doesn’t like him at all, well, not really, but he finds himself feeling attracted to him, anyway. And of course he is angry at himself for being attracted in the first place. It’s a mess.

Jonas shakes Even’s hand and whispers something in his ear. Even smiles widely and Isak groans internally. _Damn, I am attracted to him_ , he thinks. _But I kind of hate him, too_.

Even comes up to him. – I think I got a job! he says, smiling widely.

– Congratulations, Isak says. He can’t help sounding stiff. This isn’t what he pictured would happen at all.

– Thanks, Even says, looking really pleased. He has this small, secret smile that makes Isak curious. Like, irritatingly curious. This guy is just annoying, really.

– You stole some of my selling tricks, Isak points out.

Even’s eyes glitter. – Hm, yeah. It shows that I learn quickly, doesn’t it?

Isak’s stomach flips. This doesn’t bode well. The thought of Even starting at “Around the Corner” makes him worry. How will it affect his own chances of a promotion or raise? And how will it affect his concentration? Fuck, he hates this guy for ruining everything. _But he sure is hot, though_. Isak swallows an annoyed groan. This doesn’t bode well at all.


	2. Scratching the Surface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is annoyed with and intrigued by his new and kinda hot coworker Even. Jonas is acting weird. Isak plans to go on a date with his personal Christmas shopper. But then something happens between Isak and Even in the storage room, and the date seems like it's not going to happen since Jonas has other plans . Hm...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the wait!!! This chapter proved to be a helluva challenge. My attempt to push our lovely Isak and Even into a movie plot was much more difficult than I thought it would be. Isak and Even are too sweet to be as "mean" as the characters in the movie... This chapter needed a lot of tough love from me and my beta readers. So, THANK YOU SO MUCH @twoenns, @coolauntskam, @arindwell and @evakuality for helping me!!!! 
> 
> I should warn that from this chapter on, this fic will vary a bit from the original movie. Because of reasons, that I might or might not explain, lol.
> 
> Thank you, all of you that are reading this. I would love it if you leave me a word or two if you have thoughts about the fic.

– I would like some pop, something new and cool, not like… Justin Bieber, you know. Or Gabrielle.  

Isak struggles not to raise an eyebrow. It’s like hearing himself some years back. He smiles, and hands an album to the teenage boy slouching against the counter. The kid is trying to pull off a too-cool-for-you vibe, with his hipster clothing, but the way he is shifting from foot to foot and chewing on his lip more than shows how young he is.

– You might like this, Isak says. He can feel Even’s eyes on him,  from his spot in the corner where he’s been pricing records for the last twenty minutes. Isak tries to pretend that he doesn’t notice it and gives the guy in front of the counter a short description of the record.

The customer still tries to look cool and unaffected, but Isak knows that he’s got a sale, or maybe more. A short while later, Isak smiles as the guy exits the shop with a large bag of purchases.

Even scoffs from the corner. When Isak looks up, he can see a knowing smirk and blue eyes filled with glee.  – You could have given that guy some good pointers, Even says, giving Isak a teasing look. –  Gabrielle isn’t that bad, really! And there’s a lot more amazing pop out there, too!

Isak shrugs. – I’m not in this job to spread the word or anything, Even, he says. He gives Even a look, that’s supposed to say “shut up, I know my shit”.  Since Even started to work at the shop, it’s been tense between the two of them. Isak doesn’t hide his grudge over the fact that Even made Isak look bad in front of Jonas, and Even doesn’t hide his suspicions about why Isak wouldn’t help him get the job. It makes them bicker about everything. The music, too.

– Remember, Isak continues: –  You just sell records, you don’t need to convert every single customer.

–  Why can’t I have an unofficial mission to spread a real appreciation for pop music?  Even sighs. There’s a smile in his eyes, though, and a hint of one on his lips, as well.

Isak allows himself a small smile, too. It’s one of only a few between them.  – Well, you can, I guess. This shop might need some enthusiasm.

God knows it needs  _ something, _ Isak thinks, losing his smile as he tidies up some of the mess behind the counter. The atmosphere in the shop isn’t ideal at the moment. And he’s not referring to lacking Christmas decorations. Jonas is terribly moody all the time, and irritable with Isak especially, even though Isak can’t imagine why. Yeah, Isak can understand that Jonas is annoyed at Isak for being very direct and saying what he thinks, but that has never been a problem before. And although the incident with Even can explain some of the irritability, it can’t explain it all.

Jonas just seems to avoid Isak as much as he can, and he’s constantly grumpy. It isn’t improved with the fact that the customers aren’t exactly flooding the shop, of course. Isak imagines Jonas worries about that. And, naturally, the tension between Isak and Even doesn’t help either.

Isak sighs. It’s not that he doesn’t like Even. Well, not  _ really _ . Even’s annoying, but he’s kind of cool, too, and dorky and sweet at the same time. And hot, too, if he’s going to be terribly honest with himself. 

Although nobody knows that he’s into men, and he avoids thinking too much about it, or how it defines him, Isak’s more than aware of his attraction to the guy. How couldn’t he be attracted? Even is all about long limbs, a wide smile, bright eyes and soft, swoopy hair. Deep down, Isak has a secret, hidden wish to climb and cling to those long limbs, to sink his hands into that soft hair and drown himself in those bright eyes. And those lips… He would love to taste those plush lips.

Isak steals another look at Even. He probably shouldn’t think like that about his co-worker, but he can’t help it. Even is just too hot. It’s annoying, really. Isak doesn't need that kind of distraction at all.

It’s not like he’s just drooling over Even’s good looks, though. Even’s so sweet and charming that he’s impossible to ignore. He charms everybody, actually.  And, Isak has to admit, although Even’s a little absent minded at times, he does a damn good job selling records. Maybe he’s just what this shop needs. Isak had hoped to be just that, though. He had hoped to shake things up and make Jonas happy and make it all better, but now Even seems to have more of a chance to do it. Isak knows it’s petty, but he doesn’t like the thought of Even taking his place.

Isak notices that Even is watching him. There’s something curious in his eyes. – So, you have ideas for this shop, Isak? he asks.  He moves over to the counter, and leans on it.

– Yeah, it’s no secret, Isak admits, trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach. – I think this shop would do a lot better if it specialized a little. There’s not a market for the mainstream stuff any more. Everyone streams that, anyway. We’d do better to focus on the vinyl and other cool bits and bobs that could make this shop interesting to visit.

Even looks at Isak as he talks, and his eyes have this soft, open look in them.  _ This guy…  _ He’s something special. When Even listens, it’s like he listens with his eyes, his face and whole body. Isak keeps on talking, and enthusiasm fills him as he tells Even about all his ideas. He might get a little bit too eager, talking too much.

Even doesn’t seem to mind, though. He just smiles. And Isak forgets that he kind of hates this guy. Well, hate is a strong word, but he forgets that he’s wary.

When Isak finally stops talking, Even has an amused but also kind of fond look on his face. – Wow, I found something you really care about, Isak, he says, raising his eyebrows.

Isak laughs and rubs his forehead, trying to hide that he’s blushing. – You should hear me talk about science, he says. – Jonas mocks me for my rants about it all the time.

_ Or he used to _ , he adds in his mind. In fact, Jonas hasn’t been speaking much to Isak at all lately.

– Oh, you’re a man of science? Even smiles. – I should have guessed that.

– Why? Isak asks.

Even looks like he’s hesitating for a moment. – Well, you seem like you’re good at analyzing stuff, and you like things to be logical.

Isak thinks for a moment, and realizes that Even is kind of spot on. – I guess you’re right, he says and looks closer at Even. – And you? You’re more into things like music, movies and things like that, right?

– Yeah, I am, Even nods. – Movies, music, images and stories. Smoke and mirrors. That’s me.

Isak is kind of intrigued, and pleased that he has managed to pick up something about the newcomer. Well, to be honest, it hasn’t been difficult. For some reason, everything about Even is interesting and has a way of sticking in Isak’s brain.

– Actually, I can probably thank Jonas’ uncle, Vidar, for my interest in music, Even says now. He smiles a slow smile, but there’s melancholy in his eyes. He lets his eyes roam their surroundings. – You see, I used to visit this shop all the time when I was younger.

– You did? Isak says, surprised.

– Yeah. I have always been obsessed with filming, but Vidar showed me some really cool soundtracks, and introduced me to some new music, too.

– Yeah? Isak feels something that resembles envy. Back when they were younger, he used to look up to Jonas, and learned a lot about music from him, but he had never been in this record store before he got the job, and he never met Jonas’ uncle. – That’s cool, he says. – I get why you wanted a job here, then.

– Yeah, Even smiles. He looks like his thoughts are far away. Isak steals another look at him. He’s so calm and cool, Even. He’s quite similar to Jonas in many ways, actually. Both Jonas and Even take things as they come, and they both have a passion for music. For a moment, Isak wonders what would have happened if Even and Jonas had met, back when they were kids. Maybe they all could have been friends? Or would Isak have been left out then? After all, the main reason Isak and Jonas hung together, was that they met in first grade at Grefsen and sat next to each other. And now… It seems like Jonas has had enough of Isak. It definitely doesn’t feel like they’re best friends anymore.

Isak shakes away his painful train of thought and straightens up. – Well, I’m still certain that just a few small changes could make this shop a lot better.

– Well… I kind of like it as it is, Even says then. He puts his chin out and gives Isak an almost daring look.

– Well, of course you do, Isak sighs, feeling slightly exasperated. – You like weird things like snowglobes with music, too.

Isak can’t let that go. They haven’t sold many of those ugly snowglobes, and Isak knows the decision to take them in was wrong. He mostly likes when he’s right, but now it’s like the snowglobes are there, mocking him for the fact that Jonas listens more to a total stranger than he listens to his friend Isak.  

Even sighs, shrugging a little. – Sometimes weird things can be good, Isak, he says.

_ Why does it sound like he’s talking about something other than snowglobes?  _

Isak snorts, feeling irritable again. – Look, I’d love to agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

Even holds his gaze. – Yeah? he says. There’s definitely something daring in his eyes.

And, of course, Isak knows weird stuff can be good. That doesn’t mean that he has to admit to it out loud. He sighs. – Well. You really fucked up things for me with that snowglobe, you know. Jonas is still pissed at me. Why did you do it?

Wow, that comes out a bit louder than he had thought. Isak notices that a customer does a u-turn from the counter as he asks. He knows that the shop  might not be the ideal location for this conversation, but the question spilled from his lips before he could hold it back.

– You did that to yourself, Even mutters , a tightness pulling around his eyes and mouth.  – And I just… needed a job.

–  At the expense of mine! Isak scoffs.

Even shakes his head. – Not everything is about you, Isak. If you really believe a newcomer like me is a threat, you need to work on your confidence.

– Oh, fuck you.

They stare at each other. Even's annoyingly shiny blue stare makes Isak swallow.  _ Fuck _ , why does he have to be so cute, smart and… fucking interesting? Isak drops his eyes and looks at his hands. Even shrugs then, and for once, he doesn’t keep on arguing. The fact that Isak needs to help another customer might have something to do with that. When the customer leaves, Isak looks after her, still feeling a little grumpy. He shouldn’t get so carried away with his feelings. After all, Jonas has told him to show Even the ropes in his new job, not argue with him. Although having some responsibility for Even isn’t the type of more responsibility Isak has hoped for (he’s more a paperwork kind of guy than PR guy), he knows he should do his best with it.

A ping sounds from his pocket, and Even scoffs as Isak reacts to the sound with almost comical haste.  _ Finally _ . It must be his Christmas shopper. Isak’s smile is instantaneous as he digs his hand in deep against the fabric to retrieve his phone.

–  Don’t you get exhausted by your own mood swings? Even asks, as he leaves the desk to help another customer.

–  What mood swings? Isak mutters absentmindedly, already tuning Even out as he swipes across his phone’s screen to bring up the text message his phone has just received. Just as he thought, it is his Christmas shopper, Even. The thought always bugs him, what if Even the Christmas shopper is  _ his Even _ ? Even from the shop? But then Even always says something annoying again, and Isak realizes that he can’t be the same as the kind, cool guy he chats with on the app. He just can’t be.

_ I loved that song you recommended. <3 By the way, I think I have found just the right Christmas present for your friend Mahdi. _

_That’s cool!_ _And it’s great you found something for him._

Isak looks up. Even has left the customer and is back in his corner again. He seems to be looking for something in his pockets. Isak looks back down at his phone. He had hoped that his Christmas shopper would answer at once, but he seems to take his time. Just when Isak’s about to put away his phone, he see the three dots, telling him that he’ll soon get an answer. 

_ Yeah, I sent you a list of all the gifts, with images. Tell me if you want them wrapped. _

_ Thanks. Wrapped would be great. Are you at work? Your other job? _

_ Yeah… busy times, but I always have a minute for you ;) _

_ Ah, cool. I’m just bored and irritable and I am arguing with a coworker. _

_ Bummer. I just got some annoying complaints. This guy talked so loudly that he scared away a woman without noticing it. I think he hates me. _

Isak shakes his head.  _ The nerve of some people _ , he thinks.

_ Wtf who can hate you? _

_ Lol, you make it sound like I’m some sort of saint. _

_ Well, maybe not, but you’re so warm and kind, like a… puppy. Nobody can hate you. _

_ Puppy. Wow. That doesn’t sound hot at all. _

_ Depends. Some dogs can be both hot and cute. _

_ Lol. So, this guy that you argued with, is he an ugly fucker? Or is he a hot and cute dog like me? _

_ Ugly fucker, of course. No, he’s annoyingly cute, actually. And hot. _

_ Say what?!! Are you cheating on me, Isak? _

_ He’s just a co-worker, Even. And you… You’re my Christmas shopper, not my boyfriend. _

_ Thanks for reminding me, charmer. Flirting really isn’t your forte, is it? _

_ Lol, nah, I guess you’re right. Not like this anyway. I used to have game once, but that was when I didn’t really care. _

_ I mean, you know, with girls. _

_ Yeah, I get that. Do you want to meet someone, though? Someone for real? Like, are you ready to try to love someone? _

_ Yeah, I’d love to meet someone, and I’m as ready as I can be, I guess. How about you? _

– Isak! Eva snaps her fingers under Isak’s nose. Her soft curtain of brown hair enters his peripheral view as she stands in front of him. She must have come in for the evening shift. – Earth to Isak!

– Hmmm? Isak raises his hand in a salute, but ignores her as he waits for an answer. He can hear Even chuckle in the background, and looks up. Even gives Eva a hug, and turns away. He seems very busy. Almost stressed out, really.

Isak shakes his head and looks back at his phone.  _ Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.  _ Then those three dots. Then it pings again. 

_ Definitely ready. <3  _

Isak can’t help smiling stupidly at his phone.  

_ Anyway. It’s my turn to give you a music tip, right? _

_ Okay, bring it on. Just spare me the Gabrielle. _

_ You’re such a music snob, Isak! _

_ Nah, I just have taste. Btw I guess I don’t hate that music as much as I used to. _

_ Ah, you’re growing up, baby! _

Isak chuckles.

–  You’re disgusting, Eva sighs next to him.

Isak feels the heat in his cheeks. – Hello to you too, he laughs. 

– Yeah, hello, Eva snorts, and pulls him into a hug.

Isak accepts the hug, leans back and gives her a quick smile. When he sees the next text, he almost chokes.

_ So, I have found most of your Christmas gifts, and I’m really curious about you. Do you think we should meet? :) _

Isak thinks for a moment, and lets the nerves soar through him, before he answers.

_ Sure, why not? :) To give me the gifts? _

_ Yeah, or just to… talk it all over. I can bring the gifts next time ;) What do you think? _

_ Sounds good. I would like to meet you. _

_ So, where and when do you want to meet? _

Isak grins as he texts a suggestion. His heart beats fast as they decide to meet at a restaurant nearby the same night. _ Shit. This is actually happening.  _

He’s still smiling as he finally puts away his phone (he’s at work, after all).

Eva stares at him when he looks up. Her eyes are glittering. – I hope you’re sexting, because that’s the only excuse for that look on your face!

– Shut up, Isak groans. He can’t help himself though, he really likes the chats with his personal Christmas shopper. It’s a nice distraction from the tense situation at work. And the thought of meeting him is thrilling.

Even seems to wake up in his corner. – Sexting? What am I missing?

– Isak has been texting his girlfriend, Eva teases.

– It’s not my girlfriend, Isak protests. – It’s just a… friend.

Even nods. There’s something like curiosity in his eyes. But there’s also suddenly something wary about him, something that Isak doesn’t understand. 

– Bullshit, Eva says. – I’m one of your oldest friends, and I have never seen you look like that, texting one of your friends. You would never look like that, texting to Mahdi, Magnus or Sana. This is something else.

Isak shrugs. He gives Even another quick look. Even stares at him intensely, like he just has had an epiphany or something. 

– What? says Isak. – Don’t you believe that I have friends? 

– Yeah, yeah, sure, Even says, shrugging and looking away. – You’ve got Jonas and Eva and… those friends. Mahdi and…

Isak huffs a little and smiles. – Yeah! Why do you look like you don’t believe it? I’m not a hermit, after all. 

– No, I know, Even mutters. – I just… you don’t seem very social at work, that’s all. 

– You’re right about that, Eva says. – But believe it or not, he has his moments.

Even smiles a little at that. 

Isak shrugs. Even is weird. Isak doesn’t know why, but it bothers him that Even believes that he’s texting a girl. Even seems to be busy now though. He looks like he’s far away in his thoughts as he picks up a box and carries it out to the storage room. He leaves some things behind, too. Isak frowns at the mess and reminds himself to ask Even to tidy up later. He can’t help following Even with his gaze as he leaves the room.  _ Damn _ , those long legs are distracting.

When Isak looks away, he notices that Eva is staring at him. – So, she says, – what’s really going on, Isak?

_ Oh. Oh shit. _

Isak swallows. – I've got a dinner date tonight, he admits to her, and hopes that she didn’t notice him ogling Even’s legs.

– With the boss? Eva asks.

Isak shakes his head, a little relieved and a little baffled that she doesn’t draw the connection to his texting. – No, you know Jonas hardly talks to me anymore, right? He wouldn't invite me home.

Eva sighs. She looks sad, and a little worried.– Yeah, I wonder what’s up with him.

– Well, Isak shrugs, – I have given up wondering. But it's certainly difficult to get along with him these days. 

He can’t help sounding a little hurt. Jonas has always been there for Isak before. At times he has even prioritized Isak before Ingrid. Like when they were younger, and Isak had nobody to stay with during the holidays, or when Isak’s mom got sick, and Jonas just invited him over. Always.

– He said that he wanted to be here for the evening shift today, Eva says. – I hope he's feeling more cheerful.

Isak swallows. – He better be, because I'm going to ask him for a raise.

– A raise?

Isak nods. – Yeah, or at least the chance to help with some more interesting tasks, he says. He deserves it, after all. He’s been working his ass off lately, and Jonas has talked about giving him more responsibility. Well, he said that before he started to treat him like he’s nothing, but Isak still hopes there’s a truth in it. Is looking after Even what he referred to? Or something more? Isak really hope there’s more.  

Eva looks doubtful, but she doesn’t say anything. They work in silence for a moment. A few customers have filled the shop and Eva is quick to approach them. It’s not really her job to be at the counter or talk to the customers, but when the boss is out, Isak always lets her. She’s too good not to do it.

Isak can’t forget about his date, though.  _ God _ , he hopes he won’t fuck it up too much. He looks at Eva, who has found a box with Christmas ornaments. Isak helps her hang some of them up around the counter, thinking that she definitely has more knowledge about relationships than he has. She has at least done more than random fake hookups.  _ Maybe she has some good advice? _

– Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? he asks.

– No, go ahead, Eva says, looking curious.

Isak hesitates. – Eva. It's confidential. You have to promise not to say anything to anyone.

Eva looks at him. – Okay, I promise.

– Seriously. Otherwise you could ruin everything.

– I'm not gonna tell anyone, okay? Eva says, raising her eyebrows. – You can trust me. What is it?

– Suppose that a guy like me wants to go out with someone special. Like,  _ for real _ ...

Eva breaks out in a wide smile. – Oh, that's wonderful, Isak! That's the best thing that could happen. Who's the girl?

Isak blushes, and tries to hide it, as he snaps back. – Wait a minute. What did I say? I said, "suppose." I said, "a guy like me." I didn't say me. How would a guy like me impress that special someone?

Eva smiles a little. – Well, that depends… But I would say… be yourself. That’s always best.

– I guess, Isak says, frowning. But how can he be himself when he hardly knows who he is or what he likes to do? He’s in a job that was just supposed to be something temporary, and his salary is shit, and his apartment is more a room than anything else, and he’s so disconnected from his friends that he hasn’t even come out to them yet. He’s a mess, really. How could anyone fall for that?

He surprises himself, saying something just like that: – But I sure as hell won’t impress anyone right now, he mumbles. – I live in a shitty apartment and have a temporary job and I have no life and I hardly know who I am or what I want.

Eva stares at him for a moment, before she chuckles a little. – Gosh, Isak, I thought you loved your job and your tiny apartment? And you have your friends and the soccer and your science theories and… Normally you’re the “master of everything,” too. Where is this thinking coming from? 

Isak shrugs. Her question makes him think. He has felt a little down lately. – I don’t know. I do love this job, you know that. I just feel like… It’s not quite what I wanted when I started out here. And of course, it doesn’t help that Jonas has been an asshole lately. I guess… Others know what they want and go for it. Some go to school and some have their dream job and some make movies and I just… I’m just here. 

Eva shakes her head. She leans closer and gives Isak a warm hug. – Wake up, Isak. Life isn’t all about your house or career, you know. And you’re not a mess. You’re cool. You know that. I’ve got a rap video of you to prove it.

Isak groans into her embrace, and he can’t help but smile into her neck. Eva always makes him smile.

In that moment, Jonas comes into the shop.

– Yo guys, he says, but as Eva and Isak answer, he hardly looks at them. His eyes catch the mess Even has left behind, though, and he frowns. – What’s this mess?

Jonas looks up at them. He watches Eva hugging Isak until she withdraws. For some reason, it feels like he’s caught them doing something wrong. Which is… just weird. 

Jonas raises his eyebrows. – Isak? What do you have to say about the mess here? Fuck, are you too busy texting and… talking shit and… hugging your coworkers, to keep things tidy? No wonder we never have customers.

Jonas stares at him, and Isak doesn’t get why his friend looks so angry, and disappointed. What’s going on? Jonas never talks like this. And why is he yelling at Isak for Even’s mess?

– I just… he begins, but Jonas interrupts him.

– And where’s the newcomer? he says. – Weren’t you supposed to show him the ropes? 

– Yeah, uhm, Even’s in the back, I think.

Jonas groans. – You don't know where he is? You need to follow up on your responsibilities, Isak!

Isak exchanges a look with Eva. He feels hot in his head. – Of course I know, Jonas. You know that I always do what I’m supposed to. We’ve been bros for years, and you suddenly treat me like shit. What the fuck is wrong? 

Jonas doesn’t meet his eyes. – Nothing. Just… nothing. 

_ Nothing _ . It’s been  _ nothing  _ for days and weeks now. Isak is tired of Jonas acting weird and avoiding him. – Nothing, huh?  

Jonas scoffs and throws his arms in the air. – Whatever. 

He must notice that both Eva and Isak are staring at him, because he takes a deep breath and sighs. Then he rubs his forehead. – Uhm…. I’m sorry for snapping at you, guys. I’m just tired of having to tell you this shit, again and again.

– What’s wrong, Jonas? Eva asks. – It must be something. You seem… not like yourself.

Isak nods. – Yeah, you make us kinda worried, man. We don't really get what your thing is. 

Jonas stares at them, but mostly at Isak. –  My thing? 

–  Yeah! You've been... Acting so strange. 

Jonas looks down, and nods. – Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry about that, he says, and looks quickly at Eva. There’s something in his eyes, a quiet fondness that kind of surprises Isak, but then Jonas looks away. – It's just... A lot is happening right now. Lately. I have a lot to think about, I guess. We have a lot to do before Christmas. Family and stuff as well. And I can't sleep, so... I lose my temper like, so damn quickly. But I'm sorry about that.

– Yeah, I know, Eva says, – I’m sorry you’re not sleeping, that must be hard.

She is rewarded with a small smile. – I guess I’ll manage, Jonas says.

Isak doesn’t know what to say. It’s obvious that Jonas is holding something back. He knows that this is about more than sleeping difficulties (and he knows a lot about sleeping difficulties). Jonas looks worried, angry and hurt. Like Isak has offended him somehow. Isak can’t help feeling disappointed that Jonas won’t talk to him. He swallows. – Okay... But... Let me know, If you want to talk about it, he says.

Jonas only nods. He seems to have calmed down a little now, though, but he is still a little short when he asks: – And Even? How’s the new guy doing? He’s been here more than a week now, is he settling in?

– He’s a damn good seller, Isak admits. – He sells just as good as the rest of us. Maybe even better.

– He’s definitely a people person, Eva nods, smiling. – Charms them all.

Jonas nods, still with a worried wrinkle between his impressive eyebrows. – Right, right. Good.

He turns to his office. – Just… remember to keep things tidy, he says.

Isak looks after him, feeling lost. Jonas used to be his best friend, they used to tell each other everything. Why won’t Jonas tell him what’s up? Why does he either avoid him or only yell at him?

– Something’s wrong, Eva whispers. – You can say a lot about Jonas, but he’s never like that.

– True, Isak nods. He wonders if he should try to talk to Jonas. He’s just not so sure how to do it. Talking about stuff like this isn’t his biggest strength, and it has become more and more difficult after he started in this job.

As he and Eva hang up the last Christmas decoration, Even comes over. – Halla, what’s up? I priced those records we talked about.

He looks annoyingly relaxed and happy. At least it bugs Isak, since he knows it’s mostly Even’s fault that Jonas was irritable towards Isak just now. Isak sighs. – Halla, he mutters. – That’s… great.

– Shit, Eva says, and leaves the desk, – I gotta… I forgot something in Jonas’ office. I’ll be back.

Isak looks after her feeling the regret go through him (secretly wondering if she’s disappearing because she knows Isak has to talk to Even about the mess… she hates confrontations). Isak wishes she could stay. Eva always smooths the conversation with Even. Now that he needs to tell Even to tidy up, things could get really awkward.

Well, Jonas told him to fix it, so he should get it over with.

– So, Even, Isak starts.

– Yes, Isak? Even says, looking at him with these wide blue eyes which make it difficult to think.

Isak sighs. – I noticed that you forgot to tidy up over there. And here behind the counter, too. And you didn’t take the trash out when your last shift ended.

Even looks down, almost like he’s disappointed. – Right. I was just –

Isak stops him. – It doesn’t matter, Even. It’s important for the customers that we keep things alright here, you can’t be sloppy like that. 

Even gets something like irritation in his eyes. – I wasn’t sloppy. I am just not finished sorting through those records yet. Sure, I forgot the trash, but everyone forgets that all the time.

Isak frowns. Even’s indifference  irritates the shit out of him . It’s like Even doesn’t care. It’s like whatever Isak says, doesn’t matter at all.  Even may be hot, but,  _ God _ , no other person has ever annoyed Isak more. He gets under Isak’s skin, like an itch he'll never be able to scratch. 

– It doesn’t matter what the others do, Isak says, unable to hide his irritation, – you need to keep things tidy.

– Of course, Even says, and it almost looks like he’s rolling his eyes. – I know the drill,  _ Isak _ .

He crosses his arms and keeps Isak’s gaze, and it feels like a challenge, or a dare.  Everything about him seems to radiate impudence: his high, swoopy hair, his mouth, which is pouting, then it’s his posture, the tight shirt and even tighter pants, they all add to his general air of complete and utter cockiness. He looks like he just doesn’t care. It pisses Isak off, but it attracts him, too. Isak can’t help imagining tangling his hands through Even’s hair and clinging to his body.

Fuck, what’s wrong with him? Isak frowns. It’s like the argument with Jonas has tipped him off balance. His feelings are a messy tangle of frustration, sadness, attraction and lack of control, and Isak has no idea what to do about it.

Isak smiles tightly, feeling heat in his cheeks.  –  Well it seems like you ignore it.

Even shrugs, just a half-hearted lift of one slender shoulder.  –  Whatever you say,  _ Isak _ .

There’s something dark in his eyes, something like a question and a dare at the same time, something that makes Isak swallow.  

Isak feels a sudden irrational urge to leap over the desk and grab onto Even. Shake some sense into him, maybe. Or kiss him. Maybe both. He wants to demand that Even stop saying his name like that, like he’s faking an intimacy and a friendship that’s not there. But of course he can’t tell any of his coworkers how they should say his name. It’s ridiculous. He can’t go on fantasizing about him either. 

Where are these ideas coming from? Isak shuts his eyes for a moment. It must be the stress with the shop and with Jonas. It’s like he doesn’t know Jonas anymore, and the feeling of not knowing him is like falling blind into nothing. And it seems like there’s nothing he can do to fix it. This situation with Even gets him even more out of balance. 

Isak clears his throat and says: – Just don’t be so… messy, that’s all I’m asking. Actually, Jonas is asking.

Even stares at him for a long time. – Fine, he says then. – I'm working under you, right? I’ll do what you say.

_ Oh, that would be something _ .  Isak blinks at Even, taking in the quirk of his mouth and the sudden heat in his eyes. His throat tightens.  To his horror, he feels his dick plump up, just by the thought of Even under him.

Isak sighs, feeling slightly disturbed that an innocent sentence like that can get him so out of it. He needs to focus. – I’m not dictating to you. Frankly, I don’t care that much if it’s messy. I have my own troubles without it… between Jonas and me.

Even shifts on his feet. He suddenly looks awkward, although still irritated. – I have noticed that things are tense, but… I’m not here to make things worse for you, you know. I have a right to be here. I sold as much yesterday as anybody else.

Isak has to give him that. – I know. For a rainy Monday three weeks before Christmas, it wasn't bad at all.

Even looks a little baffled over the praise, but then he seems to collect himself. – So, did you tell Jonas that? he asks.

– Yeah.

– And what did he say?

Isak shrugs. – To tidy up the mess.

Even stares at him. Frustration and something dark and indefinable glimmer in his eyes. – Fine. Tell him I will.

– Fine, I will!

Even turns around, picks up some of his mess and disappears, and Isak realizes that Eva is there, looking at them both. Then she eyes Isak with a strange expression on her face. Isak tries to ignore it as he puts away the boxes with the Christmas ornaments.

Eva leans closer. – Tell me, what’s going on?

Isak avoids her eyes. – Nothing.

She doesn’t look pleased with the answer, but she lets it be. – So, who is the girl you’re supposed to date later, then?

Her voice is light, but she still sounds very curious.

Isak doesn’t know what to say. Again he feels guilty that he doesn’t correct her. Because, he’s not seeing a girl, after all. He shakes away the uneasy feeling.

– Well, you know that personal Christmas shopper? he asks.

Eva laughs. – Yes, of course! You’ve been glued to your phone lately.

– Well, we’ve been talking a lot lately. And… after a while, we got on the subject of love… very carefully, of course.

– Of course, Eva smiles.

Isak raises an eyebrow, but continues. – I think it might be the real deal. This Christmas shopper is just… amazing.

– Is she pretty? Eva asks.

_ She? _ Isak thinks and sighs a little. He’s been chatting and flirting with this Christmas shopper Even for days now, and he still feels horror at the thought of telling anyone that he likes boys. He just can’t. He doesn’t want his friends to view him as different. He doesn’t want to be an outsider.

– This... person has such ideals and such a viewpoint on things… that it’s impossible not to feel it.

Eva laughs. – So she is not so very pretty, is she?

– I don’t know, Isak sighs, – and who cares, anyway. Looks aren’t everything, are they?

– I'm sorry, Eva smiles. – Of course not!  The main thing is that you like her and it sounds like you do.

– Yeah, well, I hope I will.

Eva looks confused. – What do you mean? You talk like you’re in love with this girl, and you don't know if you like her?

Isak must release a chuckle. – Well, that's just the question. We haven't met yet.

– What? Eva asks, and stares at him. – You haven't met yet?

– No. I keep postponing it and postponing it. I'm scared, I guess. This person kind of thinks I'm the most wonderful person in the world. And after all, there is a chance I will... disappoint.

Eva smiles and laughs a little. – Yes, there is a chance. On the other hand… You might be disappointed, too.

Isak nods. – I just wonder sometimes… if it’s worth it to find out. Eva, did you ever get a bonus?

– Yes, once.

– Yeah, the boss hands you the envelope, right? And you wonder how much is in it, and you don't want to open it. As long as the envelope's closed, you're a millionaire. You keep postponing that moment and…

Eva has a knowing look on her face. – You can't postpone it forever.

– True, Isak nods, and takes a deep breath. – I'm meeting my personal Christmas shopper tonight, in a café. I’m really nervous. 

Eva laughs. – I'm sure she'll be beautiful, and smart, and funny. Perfect for you.

Isak hums a little. – Not too beautiful, though, not too perfect. I just want it to be some lovely, average person. That's all I want.

Well, almost. If he’s honest with himself, he wants someone like Even in the shop. Someone hot, dorky, sweet and a little sassy, too. But the thought terrifies him. Even is way too cool for him.  A temptation like Even Bech Næsheim is probably the very last thing he needs, both at work and privately. A part of Isak feels like Even would be the type who would burn you if you come too close.

He would like to just meet someone that he can feel chill with.

That’s when Sara comes inside, ready for the evening shift with Eva. She’s flashing another new luxurious coat. – Good evening, everybody, she purrs. – I see by the expression on your underpaid faces… you wonder where I get the money.

Isak and Eva stare at her.

– No, Sara, Eva says, sounding a little detached. – I don't wonder.

Sara looks annoyed. –  What do you mean?

Eva shrugs. – I mean, I don't wonder, and her voice tells Isak that she really doesn’t care at all. She’s probably hinting a little at Sara’s tendency to get what she wants, whenever she wants. Isak smiles to himself, and ignores Sara`s offended expression.

Deep down, he knows that Sara isn’t that bad. But she is a little bit too focused on appearances, and that fact makes it too boring to talk to her. He decides to focus on his tasks for the rest of the shift. In just an hour or two he’s ready to take off for the evening and get out to meet his date.

Jonas seems to have other plans, though. He suddenly comes over to them all, looking tired, and very irritable. – This window in front of the shop looks terrible. There isn't a fucking shop on the street that doesn't look better. It's a wonder we get any customers at all, really. I need you all to stay longer tonight. Isak and Even will have to stay during the evening shift so that we manage to redecorate the window. Sara and Eva might need to stay after closing hours, too.

_ Fuck _ , Isak swears internally. He can’t stay in the shop all evening! What about his date?

Isak hears Even whisper to Eva. – I'll have to get out of it some way.

– You haven't got a chance, Eva whispers back.

Even gets a lost look on his face. – I have something I need to do.

_ You’re not alone _ , Isak thinks, feeling miserable. For a moment, he allows himself to wonder what Even needs to do. Is he going on a date, too?  _ What if… _ what if Even is his Even, his Christmas shopper? His heart speeds up by the thought.  _ But nah, he can’t be.  _ What are the odds for something like that to happen? Isak pushes the thought away. He needs to stop daydreaming and start to focus on himself. Why the hell does Jonas have to do this tonight? Isak still hopes that he can persuade Jonas to let him go a little earlier. They have been friends forever. That has to count for something, right?

He taps his fingers at the counter, trying to find an argument he can use. That’s when Jonas’ phone rings, and he takes it, trying not to let the others hear. – Hello? Yeah, hello, darling.

So, it has to be Ingrid. Isak tries not to listen, but it’s impossible not to hear what Jonas is saying.

– Well, you were sleeping, Jonas says into his phone, looking tired, – and I didn't want to disturb you. You came home late last night. I thought perhaps you'd like to sleep a little longer.

He looks almost sad. – No, I'm not angry. Did you have fun? That's all that matters, isn't it?

There’s a pause. Then: – What? More? But, Ingrid, I don't understand. Only last Monday I gave you… No, I'm not complaining. Yeah, all right. I'll send it over ASAP. Yeah, bye.

Jonas hurries back into his office, looking embarrassed and irritable.  _ Oh _ . Isak swallows. Things are really not good between Ingrid and Jonas at the moment. But why won’t Jonas talk to Isak about it? They used to talk about everything! Now it’s like Jonas avoids him.

Isak goes over to Jonas’ office. He really needs to talk to Jonas now, though. It’s not the best moment, but he needs to talk about taking an earlier night and the reason why Jonas is acting so strange. 

He hesitates for a moment in front of the door, but then he takes the chance and knocks.

– Come in, Jonas says, and when Isak comes in: – What is it?

Isak shuts the door behind him. – I just need a word.

– Is it important? Jonas asks, looking like his thoughts are elsewhere.

Isak swallows. – It's important to me.

Jonas looks at him, but it’s like he can’t see Isak at all. – Is it important to “Around the Corner”? he asks.

– Not exactly…

– Well, then, I'm sorry, Jonas says and turns away. He goes over to his desks, and starts to study some of his papers. – I'm busy, Isak. You'll have to see me later.

It’s like Jonas has been replaced by a person he doesn’t know at all. Isak almost feels defeated. However, he can’t let this go. Not this time. Jonas has been treating him horribly lately. Isak needs to know what’s going on.

He walks closer to Jonas. – Hey, Jonas.

Jonas gives him a quick look. – What is it now?

Isak can’t hold it back any longer. He sighs. – Jonas, what’s with the attitude toward me lately? It has changed.

– Has it?

Isak stares at him. He can’t believe that Jonas can’t see it. – Yes, Jonas, it has. Really, I'm completely at a loss to understand it. After all, I do my work. And I do a good job, too.

– And you get paid for it?

– Yeah.

– Every month?

– Yes.

Jonas shrugs. – Yes, everything seems to be all right then, doesn't it?

Isak sighs, knowing that there’s no point in arguing. – Yes, Jonas.

He goes out to the others. Eva looks at him. – Did you see him?

– Yeah yeah...

Isak is more than frustrated when he starts to pick up some boxes that he needs to take into the storage room before he leaves. – I'm not going to stand for this much longer, he says. – What does Jonas want from me? Why does he always pick on me?

– He picks on me, too, Eva says. – The other day he yelled at me. Listen, maybe he has business worries. Or maybe he has some trouble with Ingrid.

Sara suddenly comes closer, looking curious. – Is that true, Eva? Is Jonas having trouble with Ingrid?

Eva scoffs and turns away. – I don't know; it's none of my business.

– I should talk to him again, Isak says. He can’t go on like this. He should tell Jonas to stop treating him like an asshole.

– Isak, don't be impulsive, Eva pleads, – not at a time like this. Not when thousands of people are out of work.

Isak frowns as he sorts the records by the counter. – I can get a job anywhere.

– Can you? Eva asks. – Let's be honest.

Isak frowns. He knows she’s right. At least he can’t get a job like  _ this  _ anywhere. Still, what does it matter when Jonas treats him like shit? – I'll take a chance, he says. – I'm no coward, you know. I'm not afraid.

– I’m sure Jonas will come to his senses and tell us what’s wrong, Eva says. – He’s not really a bad guy, you know. Something’s wrong. And this isn’t worth losing a job for. Think it over.

Isak shrugs. He needs to think. He goes into the storage room, where he finds Even, who seems to be tidying up in the shelves.

_ Perfect _ . Isak really doesn’t need more arguing or bickering right now.

He starts to lift some of the boxes up on the shelf, more to have something to do than from necessity.

– May I help you? Even asks, even more helpful and charming than he normally is.

Isak looks at him suspiciously. – No, thank you, he mutters.

Even comes closer. – I put all the imported bags over there on the shelf, he says, eagerly. – Is that how you wanted it? I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me if there's anything wrong.

Isak gives him a sideways glance. That’s definitely a different tone than earlier. – Since when have you become interested in my opinions?

– Oh, I want to please you, Isak, Even says, looking him in the eye. He looks sincere, but there’s also something teasing in his eyes. – I'm working under you, after all.

_ Hot damn _ . Is Even messing with him? Is he sarcastic? Isak looks at him suspiciously. – You don't have to keep harping on that.

– No, I didn't mean it that way at all, Even is quick to say, as he chuckles a little. Then he looks Isak straight in the eye. – I mean it. Regardless of what I think of you… I believe that anybody who works with you… and doesn't get a great deal out of it, is just plain... dumb.

Isak stares at him now. – Just what do you mean? he asks, with his heart thumping inside his chest. – What do you think of me personally?

Even smiles and shrugs a little. – I mean, since you ask… no matter what anybody else says, I think you always treat everyone fairly. You're a good guy, Isak, and I’ve learned a lot from you.

– I try to be, Isak says with a raised eyebrow, wondering what the hell Even is on about. Even really seems different. It’s like he’s trying to fix things between them. Isak feels a twinge of regret for yelling at him so much. He had probably been a little too rough on him.

There’s a silent moment while Even bites his lip and looks at Isak, while Isak is mostly feeling confused. 

– Isak, Even finally says.

– Yes, Even?

Even looks apologetic. – About that mess in the shop...

Isak feels bad, and is quick to interrupt. – I'm sorry, but I had to do tell you that. It was Jonas...

Even shakes his head.  He flushes, his cheeks reddening under Isak’s stare.  – No, I want to thank you. I'm glad you did. After thinking it all over, you're so right. I left an awful mess.

– It wasn’t that bad, Isak shrugs.

– Well.  I... Even trails off and licks his lips, quick and nervous.  –  I need this job. I’m not interested in fucking things up.

– Oh, of course you aren’t, Isak answers, and relaxes a little. Even is just worrying about his job. 

– I was messy and I was out of line, Even says. – I’m sorry.

He looks a little uneasy. Isak can tell that this is not an easy thing for him to say.

– Well, I guess I was frustrated and took it out on you, Isak mutters as an answer. That sure as hell isn’t an easy thing to say, either. – I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry.

But then Even smiles a little and shrugs. He looks at Isak with something like open friendly curiosity in his eyes. – Well, you were sort of right, Isak. I wouldn't admit it at the time, but who would?  

Isak must smile. Even’s change is too surprising. – What’s going on? This is the first time you've shown a little sense. Quite a change in you, Even.

– The first time, huh? Even laughs, and his smile lights up the room. – But yeah, I know. I just… don’t want to fight anymore. 

– Sounds nice. If you keep this up, Even, we'll get along much better.

Something strange glimmers in Even’s eyes again. – Yeah, he nods.

Isak feels optimistic. It seems like they are off to a better start. What would make it even better? If Isak could somehow ignore the way his breath hitches, the warmth that suffuses his stomach, the way his skin prickles, sensitized, at just the idea of Even being so close.

_ That _ would make it awesome.

– So, he says, to get his mind on something else. – I tried to ask Jonas to go earlier tonight, but that was rather pointless.

– Yeah?

– Yeah, I didn’t even get to ask before he kicked me out. That doesn’t mean that I won’t try it again, though.

Even’s looks busy with the boxes on the shelf and his expression is hard to read. – So, you have plans tonight, then? 

Isak nods, and smiles a little. Right now, when he stands close to Even, his Christmas shopper seem kind of pale and distant in comparison, but it’s still kind of exciting that they’re going to meet. – Yeah, I do, he says. 

– Cool. I hope we won’t have to stay too long. I have a date, you see, and...

_ A date? _ Isak swallows. – Tonight? he interrupts Even. When Even looks at him with a question in his eyes, Isak throws his hands out. – It’s just… It won’t be easy when all of us want to go earlier.

– I guess not.

Even comes closer and searches his eyes with his own. – But, would it be possible, do you think you could put in a good word for me? And then maybe Jonas would let me off?

Isak stares at him, giving a startled laugh. Even’s so hot it almost hurts to hold his gaze. But his question is sobering.  _ That  _ had to be the reason why Even had been so kind, all of a sudden. Even has just been playing him.

It takes a few seconds, but eventually Isak finds his bearings. This time his laugh has a hard edge.  –  I see what you're playing at, Even. I wasn't born yesterday.

Even frowns, and an insecurity washes over his face. – What?

– So  _ that's  _ why I'm a good guy, Isak snorts and leans back. – That's why you've learned from me now, huh?

Even stares at him, looking confused. – I don't understand.

Isak is almost impressed. Almost.

– You want the night off? Isak asks.

Even’s eyes are wide. – Yeah, Isak, listen… I meant to tell you earlier, but...

– Well, you're out of luck, Isak mutters. He struggles to push away the disappointed feeling in his gut. – That was such an obvious trick, Even. I almost fell for it, too.

Even looks miserable. – Can’t you just listen for a moment? I just… have to get tonight off , Isak. It's important.

Isak can’t believe the nerve. – And you feel like you deserve it? Since you started to work here, you've just antagonized me and…

Even’s shoulders sink. – You haven't been very nice to me either, Even interrupts. It’s his turn to look irritable. – Well, nevermind, then. Whatever I do, it's wrong. If I wrap a package, it's not right. If I make a suggestion, and some of them are very good…  You don't listen. Everything has to be done exactly your way, and then you don't like it.

Isak doesn’t know what to say. He just frowns as he sorts some boxes in front of him. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, really. 

Even sighs. Something like disappointment washes over his face. – You know what? I thought that we finally could stop fighting. I thought… Well. Nevermind. You're not even my boss, but you’re a... dictator, Isak. As for that mess in the shop, it’s fine. I’ll do whatever you say.  _ Boss _ .

Isak feels the anger burn in his cheeks and in his hands. – For fuck’s sake. I’m not your boss, and I’m not a dictator.

– Well you treat me like one.

Isak sighs. – Fuck, I wish I could.

_ What the fuck?  _ The sudden silence between them is deafening. Isak wishes he could swallow his words back. 

– I didn’t... he begins. 

But Even is staring at him and something new glitters in his eyes. – Oh, my, Isak, he says, wiggling his eyebrows. There’s laughter in his eyes, mixed with the anger. –  You’re bad, you’re making me think impure thoughts here.

_ And, well _ . Isak stares at him in horror, mostly because Even’s words do something to him. His dick hardens against his will.  – Fuck off, he says.

Even doesn't move. His eyes are so big and blue and Isak doesn’t know how to tear his eyes away. Even has tilted his head, exposing his long, white neck, and Isak wants to  lick, suck, find out how he tastes there, how that flawless skin would feel against his lips and fingertips. Isak wants to drag his tongue along his jaw and neck to the nape of his neck and gnaw on him a little. He wants to trace down to the waistline of Even’s pants, tug them down, and reveal what’s under them.

Isak shuts his eyes for a moment. What’s wrong with him? How can he be so mad at Even one second, so endeared by his sweetness in the next and filled with lust for him the second after that? He feels like he’s on an emotional roller coaster. Maybe Even was a little right about those mood swings, after all. Isak knows that he hasn’t been quite himself lately, especially since Jonas has been so weird, and the tension with Even and the excitement with the Christmas shopper doesn’t exactly seem to help. 

When Isak opens his eyes, he’s met with a careful question in Even’s eyes. Even takes a small step closer, and Isak freezes and melts and feels everything at the same time. It’s maybe only fantasies, but it’s unreal how much Isak wants him, a yearning more intense than any he's ever felt before, a need to bury himself inside Even and be completely surrounded by him. Consumed by him.

Even’s eyes meet his just as that thought goes through Isak. Even tilts his chin out,  mouth as insolent, practically daring Isak to… do something. Kiss him, maybe. Or come closer.

– What are you doing? Isak asks, staring at him. – Are you trying to trap me? It won’t work.

Even rolls his eyes. – Seriously? This isn’t about trapping you, he says. He looks closer at Isak, and bites his lip. It’s hard to tell what his expression means, but there’s still a hint of dare there, and a hint of teasing, too. – It just... You can kiss me if you want to. 

_ Oh dang _ . Isak swallows, and looks a little too long at Even’s lips. The thought of everything he wants to do to Even makes him dizzy.  _ Fuck _ , this is bullshit, though. Even is obviously messing with him. 

– Right, he says, snorting. –  I’m sure that if I agreed to your little offer here, you'd slap a sexual harassment suit on me so fast my head would spin. No way.

Even laughs then, but the laughter almost sounds sad.  – Oh my, you really don’t think highly of me, Isak. I just want you to kiss me. If you don’t want to, it’s fine.

Isak doesn’t know what to say to that. So he says nothing. 

Even searches his eyes. – Do you want me to leave?

His dark voice makes Isak shiver. He really doesn’t know how to answer. Because, that’s the thing. He doesn’t want Even to leave. He wants to kiss Even. He wants to fuck him, too. Or be fucked. Or just be close to him. It’s a scary thought, but he wants to love Even, and be loved back. He wants it all. And right now, he wants it so much that he’s struggling to think.  Almost against his will, Isak touches Even, settling his hands on Even’s waist, his fingers slipping under Even’s t-shirt and digging into his heated skin.

– Why? he asks, and shivers as Even’s fingers slips under the hem of his t-shirt, skating lightly over the small of his back. – Why do you wanna kiss me?

– Because... I don’t want to trick you, Even says and leans over and nips at Isak’s chin, his teeth scraping across Isak’s day’s worth of stubble. – I want you.  I have since the beginning. I thought this might be my chance to... have you.

His words are thrilling, and Isak can’t quite grasp their implications. He just knows that he needs to feel Even’s lips against his own.

Isak tugs Even closer and brushes his lips against Even’s. It’s just like a whisper, or a flutter of butterfly wings. Their breaths mingle as they stare at each other, both of them a little unsteady, like the emotions have come over them too quickly. Isak can see a deep hunger in Even’s blue eyes as they hold each other close.

Unable to resist any longer, Isak moves forward, and their mouths press together in a long, passionate kiss.  _ God _ , it feels so good. Isak draws his tongue over Even’s teeth and swallows his groan of pleasure as they slide closer to each other, no visible gap between them.  Isak groans when Even’s questing lips slide down his neck and his teeth deliver another bite, this one sharper, stinging.

–  You’re so... annoying, you know that? Isak asks, fighting for his breath.  – Coming here and… disturbing everything… I can’t...

He feels Even’s weak smile against his skin.  –  I’m sorry...

Even’s fingers are still digging into his waist, and Isak is tempted to  go further, so very tempted, but he has to put a stop to it before things get out of hand. This is work, and this… this is too quick.  –  We can't do this here, Isak says, breathless.

Even hums.  – I know, I know, he murmurs into the hollow at the base of Isak’s throat. His soft hair tickles as it grazes Isak’s chin. –  Just… wait...  here. Here it’s just us.

It’s just the two of them here, in the storage room.

Isak is so tempted. It’s just... too much, too fast. And of course, they can’t. It’s work. Even’s got a date, for fuck’s sake. Isak is going to meet his Christmas shopper.  – We can’t, he gasps out as he finally manages to withdraw. His hands shiver as he lets them fall.

Even nods. He pulls his hands away with obvious reluctance, and they separate, both breathing heavily.

– That was….

– I’m sorry, Even mutters, – I didn’t mean to – to do something wrong.

Isak  blinks at him for a moment, and then jerks away, his stomach plummeting. Even’s sorry. Isak should have known. Even’s just about to go on a date, after all? Of course he must be regretting it. Even seemed to be playing him earlier, too, when he was friendly and only wanted to leave early. Is this just another version of the same game? Even doesn’t quite seem like the manipulative type, though. Maybe it just was an impulse? 

–  That, Isak says, his voice cracking halfway through.  –  That's not  –  I  –  this wasn't  –

Even  reaches for Isak and pulls him back.  –  Stop. That's not what I meant. I’m not sorry that we kissed. I just know that this was a bad timing, and I need to know, are we okay?

Isak struggles against the queasiness that sprung up inside him at Even’s original words and the fear that what just happened between them is just something Even regrets. Even seems sincere. Still, Isak can’t quite fight the feeling that this probably is something like a mindless impulse for Even. Because, how could it be more? How could this amazing, creative, interesting guy fall for Isak?

To Isak, it’s a lot more. It’s his first kiss with a guy, for fuck’s sake.  _ Oh fuck _ . Isak needs some air. He turns around, ready to get out of the storage room.  – It’s alright, he says. – Just… I’m not out yet, you know. So if we could just not tell everyone…

He realizes that he had wished more for this than he had ever admitted to himself. He likes Even. But Even… Isak doesn’t know what Even wants, and he can’t seem to shake away the uncertainty that fills him up like black tar. Isak needs to get out. Get some air.  He doesn't want to be in that room with Even for a second longer than he has to be.

Even watches Isak in silence as he leaves.  – That’s it? he asks when Isak reaches the door.

Isak glances at him over his shoulder. When he answers, his voice is harsher than he intends, undoubtedly revealing some of the emotions he would have preferred to keep hidden. For some reason, he can’t bring himself to care.  – You got what you wanted. What else do you want?

Even doesn’t get the time to answer before Isak has left the room. It’s like his legs have taken over even as his brain is on automatic. He needs to get out. He needs to get home. He needs to talk to Jonas. 

Even beats him to it, though. Even passes him on the way into the shop and goes straight over to Jonas, who stands next to Eva by the counter. – Jonas, may I speak to you for a moment? Even asks, smiling a little stiffly.

– What is it? Jonas asks.

Even shrugs. – Do you think you could spare me tonight?

Jonas frowns. – Let me see, we need three people to dress that window…  Isak?

– Yes, Jonas, Isak says with a sigh.

– Can you get along without Even tonight?

Isak hesitates. It’s like his brain doesn’t work. He just needs to get away. Get some air. – Jonas, I'd like to talk to you for a moment.

Jonas stares at him. – You want to go, too, now?

– Yes, I'd appreciate it very much...

Jonas throws his arms up. – What is this? Does everybody want to leave? Is this the interest you show? Once a year, I ask you to stay a little longer...

Isak winces. – I'm sorry, if I'd only known yesterday.

– You want a special invitation. Is that it? Next time, I'll send you an engraved announcement.

Isak shuts his mouth, so baffled that he doesn’t get a word out.  Jonas is being such an utter ass! He should know they all could have plans outside their usual work hours. How the fuck can he ignore that!?

Eva approaches them then, and puts a hand on Jonas’ arm. – Jonas, I have talked everything over with Isak, she interrupts. – I know his ideas. Sara and I can manage the novelty window by ourselves.

Jonas stares at her. – Did I ask you for your advice? What do you mean you talked this over? Whose shop is this?

Eva steps back, with a wounded look in her eyes. – Yours, Jonas, she sighs.

Jonas nods. He turns back to Isak. – So you want the evening off, Isak? he asks. – That's all right. I think we can manage.

Isak feels like he needs to defend himself. – This is the first time since I started that I have asked a favor like this, he says.

Jonas throws his arms out. – I gave you the evening, Isak, he says, frowning. – What more do you want? Do you want a brass band?

Isak groans. – You're being unfair.

–  _ I'm _ being unfair? Once a year, I ask three guys… three, mind you, when next door, a shop twice as big as mine… employs only two. Three people who stand around here for days telling jokes… and talking about the movies, while I pay the gas and the rent… and the light, and the taxes, and their salaries. Three people I ask, one day a year, to be so kind… as to decorate a window. And you have the nerve, Isak… the oldest employee in the place, who should set an example… 

Isak has had enough. Why is Jonas picking on him all the time? What’s wrong? His voice shivers a little when he asks: – You spoke like this to me yesterday. What did I do then? Or the day before? The whole week you've treated me like this, and without any reason.   

– Without any reason? Jonas asks in a soft voice that troubles Isak more than his anger. – Maybe I have more reason than you think.

_ What the fuck?  _ Isak doesn’t understand shit right now. He just understands that Jonas doesn’t appreciate him. – It's obvious that you're not satisfied with me, he mutters, with his heart in his throat.

Jonas’ eyes are unusually cold. But the sadness in them is even worse. – You can draw your own conclusions, he says.

Isak swallows, and swallows, – In that case, I think we'd better... call it a day.

Isak doesn’t have the time to process what’s happening before they’re interrupted by the phone. – Around the Corner, Eva answers. – Yes, Ingrid, Jonas is here, she says and turns to Jonas. – Ingrid is on the phone.

Jonas takes the handle. – Hello, Ingrid, he says. – No, I'm not coming home tonight. Alright, I'll send it right over.

He rubs his forehead. – I need something delivered home to Ingrid.

– I can do it when I leave, Isak suggests, still feeling shaky after the talk with Jonas, but willing to help as much as he can.

Jonas doesn’t look at him when he shakes his head. – No, I don’t think so. Sara, can you do it?

– Sure, Sara smiles, and takes the packet Jonas gives her.

Jonas asks Eva to help him with some paperwork and leaves them. 

That’s it then. Isak goes back to the desk, and leans to it. The kiss in the storage room and the talk with Jonas have made him into a nervous mess. He still decides to focus on the job until his shift ends. He deliberately avoids looking at Even. He just doesn’t know what Even wants and he can’t handle not knowing.

His shift is almost over when Jonas and Eva comes out of his office again. Jonas looks troubled. – Isak, he says. – will you come to my office. I need a word.

– Yes, Jonas, Isak says, and follows Jonas into his office. He brushes a hand through his hair, feeling nervous, but hopeful. Maybe they can finally talk about everything? Maybe Jonas can tell him what's going on?

Jonas looks very serious and also… sad. Why does he look so sad? 

– Isak… I've been thinking the whole evening about what you said earlier.

– I'm sorry, Jonas, Isak sighs, and bites his lip. – I'm afraid I lost my temper.

Jonas shakes his head. – No, I think you were right. I should have thought about it before, but… You were right, Isak. I really believe that you'd be happier somewhere else.

_ Oh fuck _ . This can’t be happening. Isak swallows, feeling like his world is crumbling. Jonas, his best friend, doesn’t even look at him.

– Do you think so? Isak manages to ask.

– Yes, I'm sure of it. You have always talked about how you wanted to go back to your studies. And it’s evident that things aren’t working here. So.

Isak wants to cry.  _ Half a day… _ Jonas used a whole day to decide that he liked the fucking snowglobes, but he needed just a few hours to decide that Isak should leave the shop.

– Are you firing me?

Jonas gives him a long stare. – Of course I’m not firing you, Isak. Jesus. I care a tiny bit too much about workers’  rights to do something like that. I’m just asking you to think about what you want. 

Isak swallows. Jonas doesn’t want him. Well, there’s no point in staying then, is there? 

– I don’t need to think, he says. – I’m quitting. In fact, I’m leaving today. I’ve had enough of this shit, Jonas. 

Jonas nods, but doesn’t seem surprised. 

Isak must fight to keep his tears back now. – I guess there's nothing more to be said, he says, and he has no clue how he manages to keep his voice steady.

– No, Jonas says, looking sad. – Let me see. You're naturally entitled to a month's pay. I’ll give you three month’s pay to make sure you’re doing okay. You will have to give me a written resignation.

Isak nods, as his sight gets blurry from the tears in his eyes. His heart beats heavy in his chest and he feels dizzy, like someone has pulled the oxygen out of him. He doesn’t even have the energy to ask about the reason for Jonas’ conclusion. He can’t take more of this shit.

– I’ll write you a letter, Jonas says – which certainly won't handicap you in seeking employment.

Isak wants to scream and yell, but the only thing he manages to say is: – Thanks.

Jonas meets his eyes then. His eyes are still looking sad. – I guess we might as well say bye.

Isak wonders why it feels like a breakup. Does this mean that Jonas isn’t his friend anymore, either? Isak doesn’t dare to ask. He just takes Jonas’ hand, and bumps his shoulder, just like they used to do.  – Bye, Jonas.

– Bye.

Isak feels like he’s still in shock when he gets out to the others.

– Well? Eva asks, staring at him. – What happened?

Isak doesn’t know what to say. In the end, he sighs. – Jonas asked me to think about if I wanted to continue to work here. He suggested to me that I quit. And I… I couldn’t take more of that crap. So I told him that I quit. 

Isak sees the shocked faces around him, but turns away and goes into the locker room in the back. When he picks up his stuff, he’s surprised how little he needs to carry with him.

Eva’s eyes are big when she follows him. – Isak, I can't believe it. How could he suggest something like that to you? There's no reason.

– The boss doesn't have to give you a reason, Isak says, shrugging. – That's one of the wonderful things about being boss. But yeah, It was my choice to go, anyway.

He picks up his things and puts on his jacket. – Well, I wanted to get tonight off, he says, laughing bitterly. – I got it off, alright. Guess I’ll just go home.

– Isak, aren’t you going on your date? Eva asks.

Isak shuts his eyes for a moment, before he meets her eyes. – No, I just can’t.

_ I can’t face him like this. This morning I had a future, now I’m nothing. _

He doesn’t say it out loud. When he goes back out into the store, the others are heartbreakingly supportive, telling him how shocked and surprised they are.

– Now, Isak, Eva says, – we are going to see each other soon. If you have an evening with nothing to do, you know where I live.

Isak smiles a little, grateful that he still has one of his friends. – Alright, Eva, he says, and gives her a hug. – See you later.

– Later, Isak.

Then he faces Even, and he can’t help smiling a little. Even looks pale and strangely sad. Isak can’t believe that the two of them were kissing, not so long ago. It seems like a strange dream. 

– Now, Even, Isak says, smiling, just to show that there are no hard feelings. – if I had anything to do with you not getting the evening off, I'm so sorry.

Even shakes his head. – It's my fault that you got into this trouble. Please believe me, I'm sorry, too.

– That's all right.

– I guess it's true we didn't get along – Even starts.

– No, Isak chuckles.

– I guess we fought a bit, but I’m sorry that you feel like you have to leave. I get why you do, but I just… know how hard it is to look for a job. It’s a process you wouldn’t wish – 

– On your worst  enemy? Isak smiles.

– Oh, I didn't say that, Isak.

– I know. Let's not argue anymore, Isak says, silently wondering if he’ll ever see Even again. He might bump into Even if he’s hanging with Eva. But it doesn’t seem likely that he’ll hang much with Jonas anymore. He struggles to keep his tears back, but still gives Even a smile and a handshake. – Bye.

– Bye, Isak.

Isak walks home through the dark evening in the snow feeling miserable and a little angry, too. Normally he would have phoned Jonas after a shitty day like this, or maybe sent a text. Now he doesn’t know what to do. He could talk to Mahdi and Magnus, but he doesn’t know what good it would do. They are more Jonas’ friends than his, anyway. He wants to send his Christmas shopper a text, but at the same time, he doesn’t feel ready to tell him about how fucked up his life is. In the end, he sends Sana a text.

_ Seems like I’m unemployed. _

_ What? What happened? _

_ I have no idea. Must have pissed Jonas off somehow. _

_ You’ll figure something out, Isak. And I can always help you if you’re heading back into studies. _

_ Thanks. _

That’s when his phone rings, and he sees it’s Eva on the phone.

– What’s up? he says.

– Hi, Eva says in a sensational voice, like she has exciting news. – Some serious looking woman turned up and Jonas just gave us all the evening off, Eva explains. – I’m coming over.

– Seriously? That’s weird. And it’s nice of you to come over, but you know you don’t have to.

– Yes, I do, Isak. I’ll be there in a minute.

Isak smiles as he tucks away his phone. He approaches his flat, thinking that it actually feels nice to know that Eva is coming. She’s nice like that, Eva; she’s always there for him. He walks inside, hanging up his jacket and heading for the kitchen. He’s still arguing with himself about what to eat when Eva’s there, ringing his doorbell.

He lets her in, and accepts the hug when she throws herself at him. 

– I yelled at Jonas, she says, drawing back, still looking a little angry. – He’s been like your big brother since you both were kids and now he treats you like this? It’s horrible.

Isak swallows. – I guess.

Eva starts to look through Isak’s cupboards with an angry energy, probably to find some food. – It is! she says. – And now! How can he do this? I can’t believe that I’ve been crushing on that idiot for so long.

– He’s not an idiot, Eva. There must be something wrong.

Eva sighs. She finds some bread, cheese and ham and starts to make them some sandwiches. – Well, yeah, I know that, but still.

Isak looks closely at her.  _ Wait – did Eva just – _

– Are you crushing on Jonas? Isak asks. – I mean, are you still crushing on him? After all these years?

Eva looks almost guilty as she hands Isak a sandwich. – I suppose I am. Sort of. I have had other crushes and relationships too these last years, I’m not a fool. I just… I just sometimes regret that I never did anything, back when I could have.

– Yeah?

– Yeah, Eva nods. – Although I was a little… dependant back then. I’m not sure that Jonas and I would have been the best match. I’m just curious… about what could have been. 

Isak chews his sandwich, grateful that Eva is here, providing him with food and distraction. Bread and circus, basically. Maybe he’ll survive this evening from Hell after all. – Well it seems like Jonas and Ingrid are having problems, if that’s a comfort, he says.

– It kind of is, Eva says, as she’s picking at her own sandwich. – Well, now when he’s behaving like this I’m not that interested anyway.

She doesn’t sound too convincing. 

Isak sighs, thinking about Even. – Love… he says. – It’s complicated.

– Yeah it is.

It’s a pity that the thing with Even ended up to be nothing. Still, Isak comforts himself with the thought that it probably was for the best. The two of them were too… different. 

And at least something positive came out of the two of them meeting. Even made Isak feel like he finally  _ wanted  _ to fall in love, like he wanted to take a chance on another person, like he wanted to be  _ himself _ . 

Isak looks at Eva. He doesn’t quite know what it is, but suddenly he knows it’s time. Eva is one of his closest friends, and she’s always so supportive and helpful. He needs to tell her.

– Eva, he says. – You know what, you’re not the only one who has been crushing on Jonas for far too long.

Eva looks at him with surprise in her eyes. – No? What do you mean?

Isak’s stomach shifts uneasily and he notices that his hands are clenching as he embraces himself. _ Is he really going to do this?  _ He releases his hands, but doesn’t know what to do with them, so he ends up putting them in his pockets.  _ Fuck it. He is going to do this _ . – I… had a big crush on Jonas back in school, too, he says, with the pulse from his heart hammering in his ears. – You see... I kind of... like boys.

Eva doesn’t look judgemental, and she doesn’t look very surprised, either. – You’re gay?

Isak shrugs, as he tries to appear indifferent. – I don’t know, I guess?

– Hah, cool, Eva smiles. – That figures, she says. – I always thought you two were so close, even closer than Jonas and Ingrid seemed. 

Isak smiles a little, although her words make his chest clench again. – Well, that probably was because Jonas kind of took me under his wing when my mom got sick, you know.

Eva nods, and gives him a warm smile of comfort. – You two are gonna figure this thing out, Isak, I’m sure of it. 

– Hope so…, Isak mutters. He’s not so sure at all. 

Eva moves closer then, and gives him a big hug. – I’m glad you told me this, Isak. Are you gonna tell others? It must be so tiring to carry this big secret around all the time? 

– I guess. I want to. I will need some time, though. 

– Sure, Eva smiles. – So I can’t tell anyone? Not even Noora? Or Eskild? God, he would have  _ died _ ! He was so certain you were gay!

Isak laughs. – Not yet. I think. I wanna tell Eskild myself. And Jonas. If he ever talks to me again.

– Yeah, Eva says, squeezing his arm. – He will. So, I guess this means that you’ve been texting with a boy, then, right? Not a girl?

Isak blushes. – Yeah.

Eva sits up. – You know what, we should at least go over to the restaurant, and see who the guy is.

– No. Definitely not. Isak says, shaking his head. Just the thought about the restaurant makes his heart beat faster. – No way in Hell I’m doing that.

But of course, Eva has her way, and just a little while later, they’re in the front of the restaurant, looking in.

– Why don't you go inside, Isak? Eva asks. – I really think you should go in and keep your date.

Isak tries to hide that he’s scared shitless. – Now, Eva, I just want to see him, that’s all. And then I’ll text him and tell him that something came up.

– Alright, Eva says and stretches to see through the window.

Isak stays back. – Eva, I think I don't really want to know what he looks like. Or, maybe I do. I don’t know.

Eva laughs a little, like she thinks he’s funny. – Well, I can look, she says. – Now, what's the name of that book he was supposed to bring?

– Anna Karenina, by Tolstoy. 

– Anna Karenina, Eva says and stretches her neck. – Now, let me see... Just a minute.

Isak stays back. – Do you see anything? he asks, biting his lip. 

– Not yet. Wait a minute. I think I see it.

– Yeah?

– Right there under the window. Yes. "Anna Karenina by Tolstoy." I can't see his face. He's sitting behind a clothes rack. There's a cup of coffee on the table.

Isak gets curious against his will. – Yeah?

– He is leaning forward now. He...

Eva grows silent.

Isak stares at her, and wonders what’s wrong. – Can you see him?

– Yes, Eva says, still staring. – He’s handsome.

– Yeah?

– Yeah. I should say he looks… He has a little of Even’s coloring.

– Even? Isak says, and suddenly feels like he’s blushing all over his body. – What, Even from the shop?

Eva turns around and looks at him. She must mistake his question for a protest of Even being hot. – Now, Isak, you must admit that Even’s a very handsome guy. I kind of like him.

Isak can’t believe how hot he feels in his head. He and Eva seem to have the same taste in men, though. He takes a deep breath. – This is a fine time to talk about Even. Now...

Eva smiles a slow smile. – Well, if you don't like Even, I can tell you, you won't like that guy there.

_ Oh. Oh, does that mean….  _ Isak’s heart beats fast when he asks: – Why?

– Because it  _ is  _ Even, Eva says, and her grin is so wide, and her eyes sparkle with laughter. – It’s Even, Isak! 

_ Damn _ . It can’t be, can it? Isak has to have a look. He approaches the window and looks inside, and there he is.  _ Even _ . 

Isak can’t believe it. Or, he can.  His Christmas shopper is called Even, after all, but Isak just doesn’t know what to do about it. He can’t do this. He’s not ready.

Of course, Eva says: – You should go inside.

– No, I can’t, Isak says.

He really can’t. The panic that goes through him is too much. He feels ice cold at the same time as his heart races inside him. Sure, he’s come out to Eva, but he’s not ready for everyone to know. Not ready to show Even. And what if Even is just mad at him, because of everything happening at the shop? What if he’s disappointed that Isak’s the one?

– What do you want to do, do you want to just let the poor guy wait?

Isak steps back, frowning. – Why shouldn't Even wait? Since he started in the shop, he’s fought with me every day.

His own words sound hollow and weak. 

Eva cocks her head and looks at him like she can see right through him. – But still, he wrote those texts, right?

– I know, Isak nods, with his heart pounding in his chest. He backs away from the restaurant. – I just… can’t do this. So, I think I’ll go home now. See you later, Eva?

He ignores the disappointment in Eva’s eyes. Or tries to. 

– Later, Isak, she says.

Isak sends the restaurant and Even another look before he turns around and goes to the tram stop. He’s already twenty minutes late for the date, and he doesn’t want Even to bump into him when he gets out. So it’s better to get out of here before he sends Even the text. He’s waiting for the tram when he texts:

_ I’m sorry that I’m so late. Something came up. I can’t come tonight. _

_ Oh, nothing bad, I hope? _

_ Nothing that can’t be fixed, I suppose. _

_ That’s too bad. Maybe another time, then? _

_ Yeah, I’m really sorry. _

 

Isak tucks his phone away, leans his head back and shuts his eyes.  _ Fuck, what a day.  _ He kissed Even, left his job, came out to Eva and realized who his Christmas shopper was… Fuck, that’s a hell of a day.

He hardly notices when someone suddenly stands next to him. – Hello, Isak.

That dark, soft voice...  _ Even of course _ .

Isak looks up, with his heart hammering in his chest. – Hello.

He doesn’t have to fake it to seem surprised. He hadn’t expected Even to come here. At first he feels caught in a lie, but of course Even doesn’t know who he is. Not yet, anyway. 

– What a coincidence, he says. – I was just… hanging with Eva.

Even nods, looking a little down. Isak really hopes that Even doesn’t connect the dots. His name is Isak, after all, and he  _ did _ tell his first name on the app. But Even seems too distraught to be figuring anything out. – Well, I was just about to have a date, he says.

– Oh, yeah, I remember, Isak says. – You told me. So, how did the date go? You seem to have left early?

Even looks up at him. – And I'll thank you for not being sarcastic, he says, in a solemn voice. – I know you've had a bad day, and you probably feel bitter. Still, that's no reason.

Isak feels a pang of guilt, but feels a little offended that Even thinks he’s bitter, too, and he clings to that feeling. – Bitter? Me? he says, as the tram stops in front of them. They get on. – About leaving Around the Corner? When I got home and sat at the phone…in five minutes I had two job offers.

The tram is full, so they end up standing next to each other, holding a pole.  

Even doesn’t call him out on his ridiculous lie. – Good for you, he just says, looking tired. – I wish you good luck, Isak.

He looks like he means it. Isak can’t tear his eyes away from his face. Even is  _ his Even _ .  _ His _ Christmas shopper. The guy he’s been discussing music, love and good reads with.  _ Even! _ How is that even possible? 

His eyes catch the book Even clutches in his hand. 

– So, you're reading Tolstoy's Anna Karenina? he says.

Even raises an eyebrow. – Yes, do you mind?

– No, no, I just didn't expect to meet you here, you know… and with Tolstoy, that's all. I didn't know you cared for literature like that.

Even shrugs. – There are many things you don't know about me, Isak. I’m not just the guy you see at work. 

Isak stares at him. He knows that Even has had a bad day and that he should leave the guy alone, but the surprise of Even being his Christmas shopper is just overwhelming and he can’t let it go. – Have you read Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky? he asks.

Even shakes his head. – No, I haven't.

– I have. There are many things you don't know about me, too, Even. As a matter of fact... there might be a lot we don't know about each other. You know, people seldom go to the trouble of scratching the surface of things to find the inner truth.

Even sighs. He almost looks tired. – Well I don’t think I want to scratch your surface, Isak, and I’m sure that you won’t scratch mine.

Isak stares at him, a little surprised by the unusual bitter tone in Even’s voice. Isak swallows. – I just –

– Isak, please! Even sighs and gives Isak a strange look, almost accusing. – I’m not in the mood for talking, and I’m  _ really _ not in the mood for you mocking me.

– I’m not – 

– Well it feels like it.

Isak sighs. – Fair enough, he says.  He pauses for a moment, wishing that he could do something,  _ anything _ to make Even smile again. – Still. Should I feel offended by the fact that you kissed me in the storage room when you were planning a date with another guy? 

He knows it’s a daft thing to say. Especially since Isak was supposed to be his date. But Even doesn’t know that, right? It could be a little funny, right?

Even doesn’t seem to think it’s funny. He stares at Isak for a long time, like he has said something horribly stupid. –  _ You _ were kissing  _ me _ , Isak. And it was just… something that happened, wasn’t it? 

Isak doesn’t know if the question is rhetorical so he says nothing. 

Even looks away. – And it’s not like I’ve met this other guy before, so we’re not exclusive, I guess. I won’t be kissing you anymore, though. You don't have to worry.

– Right, Isak says, feeling a sinking sensation in his stomach. His feet are suddenly wobbly, too. Even won’t kiss him. Well, that’s fair. But he suddenly realizes that avoiding the date has messed up things for real. How is he supposed to fix this? Sooner or later, Even is going to realize who Isak is, and then everything’s going to be so fucked up. 

It’s silent between them for a moment. Isak knows he should keep his mouth shut. Still, he doesn’t know what comes over him when he asks: – So. Have you read Zola's Madame Bovary?

Even raises an eyebrow. – Madame Bovary is not by Zola, he says. Then he sighs. – I’m really not in the mood for this, Isak. Why do you do this? Why do you need to mock me? Why do you hate me?

Isak doesn’t know why his heart suddenly beats faster again. – I don't, he says. Because of course, he could never hate Even. 

Even smiles a weird, almost bitter smile. – Hah, I suppose you love me, then?

His words hit Isak like a slap. Because he would love to get the chance to love Even. And be loved back. And now he has probably spoiled everything. He struggles to keep his feelings hidden. 

– Why should I? he mumbles, trying to sound cocky. – What've you done to make me love you?

Even frowns, and looks outside. – I don't… I don’t want you to love me.

It sounds true. And it kind of breaks Isak’s heart. He looks away and blinks away the angry tears in his eyes. – Fine. I don't! he mutters.

It’s silent between them for a moment. Isak takes a breath, and then another. He needs to get over this. Like, right now. He needs to fix  _ something _ between them. Maybe they still can become friends. Or at least friendly? He wants to make Even feel better, but he doesn’t know how to do it. It seems like everytime he opens his mouth, Even expects the worst. And somehow, he ends up saying the worst, too.

He notices the Christmas music playing in the tram.  _ Jingle Bells. _ He can’t help smiling. – Do you know what this tune reminds me of? he asks, still smiling a little.

– Yes, thank you, Even groans. – Two dozen unsold snowglobes.

– No, no, Isak says, shaking his head. – Wrong again. It reminds me of a guy out of a job. A very nice guy, too, I thought.

Even laughs a small laugh. He looks at Isak in disbelief. – You thought that? Yeah, sure. 

Isak nods. – I did! But that was before you fucked up things with Jonas and started to make fun of me...

Even raises his eyebrows. – Well, you said stuff about me, too.   

Isak sighs, because, of course, Even is right. They have both acted a bit like idiots. He’s about to say something to smooth things over, when his phone rings. It’s Eva.

– Isak! she shouts, and Isak can hear that she’s crying. _What' wrong?_   Isak's brain races in the most unhelpful way as he imagines what could have happened with his loved ones. He can feel the throbbing of his own eyes, the ringing screams vibrating in his ears, and the thumping of his heart against his chest. His fingers are clutching his phone so hard it hurts. Fear tortures his guts, churning his stomach in tense cramps as she continues: – You gotta come to the hospital, Isak! Jonas… Something has happened! Isak, you have to come! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this ended up alright! 
> 
> The variation from the original movie that I mentioned in the notes at the beginning, is the fact that Even seems to realize who Isak is. In the movie, his character was clueless, but that didn't work here, for obvious reasons.
> 
> So, let me know if you have ideas about what you want to happen next. I can't promise you everything, since I have started to write already, but it would be nice to hear some ideas! lol


	3. Now, Here comes the Paradox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Jonas talk a lot. Isak and Even talks a little, too. Isak meets another good friend. Isak sends Even some messages. There is an ultimatum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No special warnings. I can mention that Norwegian workers are well protected by the law, if you start to wonder about that, lol. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your help, lovely betas! <3

The chilly winter air is ice cold against Isak’s cheeks. With pounding heart and leaden feet, Isak stomps down the street in long strides, closely followed by Even. Isak hardly notices. Well, of course he notices, because it’s Even after all, but still. He has a lot to think about. After the stressed call from Eva about Jonas, he has no choice but to hurry to the hospital with his heart in his throat and a million questions running through his mind. 

He thought that Even would leave him to it, but here Even is, following him to the hospital.  _ Why? _ Isak wonders. It’s not like Even was thrilled to meet him at the tram.

– You shouldn’t have to go there alone, Even says, as if he hears Isak’s unspoken question. He looks tired, but calm. His breath is white smoke in the dark. – And this day has been kinda horrible anyway, a hospital visit will be the perfect ending. 

_ Horrible? Well, that’s a fucking understatement. _

The cold licks at Isak’s face and creeps under his clothes as they walk. He doesn’t even have the energy to smile at Even’s comment. – Thanks, he just says, while he wonders what has happened to Jonas and is terrified that it’s something serious. What if something  _ really  _ bad happens to Jonas? What if he  _ dies _ ? What if Isak’s last memory of Jonas is the talk they had earlier?  _ Fuck _ .

Even seems to sense his worry. – He’s probably fine, he says, as they finally approach the hospital. He brushes his hand through his hair and looks at Isak from the side. – It’s gonna be okay. 

Isak knows the words are only words, but Even’s soft, warm voice still has a strangely calming effect on him. 

– Yeah, he mutters, and takes a deep breath. – Probably. 

Isak doesn’t like hospitals. They give him a feeling of being lost and helpless, that he can’t escape. It’s the same feeling he has felt so many times, rushing to his mom, just like he’s rushing to Jonas now. Even doesn’t look like he likes it much either. There’s a tightness in his face, and he’s pale. 

They don’t say much more as they rush inside the huge building. Isak is so tense that he feels like he almost can’t think. Luckily, Even seems to have no problem figuring out where they are going. He talks to the receptionist and leads the way with long strides.

Isak follows him, staring at the walls and the signs with the serious sounding names.  _ Fuck, this is really happening.  _ When they enter the corridor where Eva is waiting for them, Isak almost feels like crying. 

Eva looks unusually pale, and she has gathered her soft, brown hair in a messy ponytail. – Hi, Isak, she says, with a small shiver in her voice. She gives Isak a warm hug. – Thanks for coming so fast. Jonas’ parents are out of town and Thea is still studying in Gothenburg, and well, I couldn’t think of anyone else to call. Mahdi and Magnus, of course, but they will come later.

– Of course we’re here, Isak says, and Even nods and greets her. 

Eva looks at Even with badly hidden curiosity in her eyes. – Hi, Even.

– We met at the tram stop, Isak explains quickly, hoping to avoid questions. – But uh, how is Jonas? 

– Is it serious? Even adds. Isak watches him when he brushes his hand through his hair again.  _ So soft...  _ How is it possible that Even can distract him, even now?

– I don’t know how serious this is, Eva says. She swallows audibly. Isak can tell that she’s still shocked. – I suppose I kinda freaked out. Because… Well, it was a scary sight. I thought Jonas was having a heart attack or something, because he was clutching his chest and seemed so out of it. But it seems like it must have been anxiety or something like that. 

– Anxiety? Isak can’t believe it. Jonas is the most relaxed person he knows! Well, maybe not lately, but normally, at least.

Eva nods. – Jonas said something about stress and work, but also that he had gotten an anonymous letter, she says, and then she shuts her mouth. – Jonas will maybe tell you about it, but it was something about Ingrid. And tonight he heard some more and... everything was too much, I guess.

– It seems like a strong reaction, though, Isak mutters.  

– Yeah. Well. I’m just so glad I went by the store, Eva says. – I was just stopping by to pick up some things I had forgotten, when I saw him on the floor, gasping for air, clutching his chest and grimacing in pain. It was a terrible shock, really. I didn't know that a panic attack could be like that. But… he’s going to be okay. 

– That’s good, Isak whispers. Anxiety is painful, but not deadly. The relief floods over him. Jonas is going to be okay. And more than that, there might even be a reason for Jonas behaving like he has lately. Anxiety can make people do strange things. At least it used to make his mother do some weird shit.

He notices that Even is watching him, and meets his eyes. There’s something new in Even’s expression that Isak hasn't seen before. He looks very attentive and tense. Isak wonders for a moment why Even is so invested, when he hardly knows Jonas at all. Then Isak stops himself. Even does know Jonas a little, from when he visited the record shop as a kid. 

Isak tries to give Even a reassuring look. – That’s good, he repeats.

It’s like he’s said some magic words. Even’s face breaks out in one of his great, shiny smiles. The transformation is breathtaking. – Yeah, he says.

– Yeah, it’s good, Eva nods, not noticing the look between the two boys. – When I talked to him earlier, he… he was a lot better already, although he had a lot on his mind. And… She gives Isak a long look. – I think he wants to talk to you alone, Isak. 

– Okay, Isak says again. – Sure. We can talk. 

Right now, he could agree to do anything. And he’s actually relieved to hear that Jonas wants to talk to him.  _ That must be a good sign, right _ ? But fuck, why  _ shouldn’t  _ Jonas want to talk? He owes Isak that much! Isak realizes that he’s both kind of pissed that Jonas has acted so weird lately and nervous that Jonas still is angry with him. It’s weird. It’s like his feelings are bouncing around inside of him and won’t settle.

Even puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it lightly. Now it’s his turn to look reassuring. – Jonas probably wants to tell you what happened, he says. – And fix things. That’s a good thing. You guys go way back, right? 

Isak nods. 

– Well, Even says, with a solemn look on his face. – I know how it feels to have a fallout with your friends, and how difficult it is to take that first step to fix it. It’ll be okay, though. You’ll be okay.

The warmth in his voice works like some sort of a balm. The tense muscles in Isak’s back relax a little. – Yeah, he nods. For a moment, he wishes that he could ask Even for a hug. He would give a lot for that human connection and closeness right now. He looks into Even’s eyes and is surprised by the compassion he finds there. It makes it almost difficult to breathe. He tears his eyes away, and notices that Eva is watching them with an amused look on her face. 

– Coming? she says. 

– Sure, Isak answers, as he tries to pull himself together.

– So, I’ll just wait outside here, then, Even says. He looks a little lost, but he finds himself a seat in the hallway and a magazine to cling to. 

Isak nods again and follows Eva into the room. He’s surprised to see how small Jonas looks in all the white; the pillow behind him and the duvet over him is white, the walls are white. Everything is white. Jonas looks younger, too. It takes a moment before Isak realizes that it’s partly because his anger is gone. Jonas looks more sad than anything else. And tired.

A part of Isak is still pissed at Jonas though, and that part is fighting the part feeling bad for Jonas. There is also a small part of him that is still wondering if he’s done something wrong. Because, how could Jonas treat him like he did? Had Isak said or done something stupid? He knows that happens from time to time, after all. 

– Hi, Jonas says with a small smile. His eyes have a question in them, like he’s asking for permission to talk. – God, thanks for coming, Isak. Sit down.

Isak does. 

– I’ll let you talk, Eva says, from the door. She sends Jonas one of her brilliant smiles, and just then it’s hard to imagine how pale she looked only minutes earlier. – Let me know if you need anything, right?

Jonas nods and smiles back. He looks grateful, but also a little embarrassed. – Thanks, Eva. 

She shuts the door behind her and the boys look at each other for a moment. And right then, it’s like something wordless passes between them. Jonas is miserable. Isak too. They both know it, and they don’t have to say a thing. But in the end, Isak decides to say something anyway. He clears his throat. – What’s going on? he asks. – What happened, Jonas?

Jonas shakes his head, so his dark curls bounce against his pillow. – I dunno. You know, I have been stressed out lately. And tonight I got so sad and mad at myself and so stressed out and I had this... attack. They say it’s a sort of a panic attack. That I’ve burned myself out or some shit like that. That I need some time to chill.  

– Sounds like a good idea, Isak mutters, and tries to offer Jonas a comforting smile. It’s not that easy, when his feelings bounces around inside of him and he hardly knows what’s going on.

Guilt floods Jonas’ face and he sighs. – I’m so sorry that I’ve been so horrible to you lately, Isak. I can’t… Jonas breathes shallowly, clutches his chest and grimaces, like he’s in pain. 

Isak is surprised to see tears in his eyes. He suddenly needs to blink to keep his own at bay, and the anger is a fire in his head and the fear is cold as ice in his chest. This is too much, and too familiar, too. He’s been at a sick bed like this countless times, with his mother. And now this… and all the mixed emotions…  _ Fuck, fuck, fuck _ . Jonas really looks horrible. How bad is this? 

– You okay? he asks, nervously.

Jonas seems to calm down a little with Isak’s question. He breathes slowly, in and out. – Yeah,  I’m… just figuring this out. I’m good. I’m just so sorry. 

_ Sorry? _ Yeah well, he should be. The worry for Jonas melts and is replaced by hot anger. Isak takes a deep breath, and his hands shiver as he tries to control himself. – Well, he says, with clenched teeth, surprising himself when he sound somewhat collected. – I suppose you’ve had a lot on your mind. 

It seems like Jonas can’t look him in the eyes. – Well, that’s not an excuse. Yeah, I’ve been stressed out about the shop, and about Ingrid, but that has only been the half of it. I’ve been avoiding you and bossing you around and... I’ve gotta tell you what it’s all about. 

Isak shifts in his chair, as the irritation grows. He clenches his fists. The fact that Jonas is so apologetic almost makes it all worse. It’s like he takes away Isak’s possibility to be angry, and now Isak’s supposed to say it’s all alright, and kiss and make up?  _ Fuck no.  _

The anger is like a fiery knot in his chest. – It has been rather shitty, Jonas, he admits. When he finally says it out loud, it’s as if the rage and frustration rushes over him, and overwhelms him.  _ Shitty?  _ It hasn’t been just shitty, it has been like hell! Jonas has pushed him away for a long time, and without offering _ one word _ about what was wrong.  _ Fuck _ , Jonas has been an ass. 

– Actually, Isak says, and raises his voice, as he feels the anger boiling in him. – it’s been like Hell, you know! Do you think that saying you’re sorry can fix that?

Jonas stares at him with big eyes. Isak feels the heat churn inside him and rise in his cheeks. His breath comes in hives. He knows he should calm down, but he’s too angry with Jonas right now. – I don’t get how you could treat me like you did, Jonas? You? My best friend? I know you have experienced some shit, but… Fuck, it wasn’t okay!

Jonas nods, and shuts his eyes. He looks sick. – Yeah, I know. I’m so sorry. 

– Yeah, you should be! Isak snaps. Then he shuts his eyes. – You should be, Jonas.  _ Fuck. _ What the fuck happened? Can you try to help me make any sense of this shit?

Jonas looks uncomfortable. He opens his eyes and finally looks back at Isak. – Well. Guess I should start with the beginning. I got an anonymous letter a little while back. A couple of weeks before Even started to work with us. When I first got that letter, I laughed. It said that Ingrid was having an affair with one of my employees.  _ Ingrid! _

Isak doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know if Ingrid is the type to cheat, but it has been pretty obvious that Jonas and Ingrid have struggled lately. He’s not that shocked. But someone in the shop? The idea confuses him.  _ Who? One of the extras? _

Jonas looks down. – But I didn’t know who. So. I thought it was you. 

– Me? Isak says, coughing.  _ What the fuck? _ – You thought I had an affair with Ingrid? What the fuck? How could you suspect me, Jonas?

He almost wants to laugh out loud.  _ Fuck _ , here he was so scared to admit that he was gay, because he feared that Jonas and the others would reject him if they knew. And in the end Jonas was a dick to him because he thought Isak was straight instead. It’s fucking ironic. No, it’s depressing to think about, actually. 

Jonas doesn’t seem to notice Isak’s weird mood, he keeps looking at his hands. – Well, you were the only man in the shop back then, and you were one of the few of my employees who had been to my home… and you wrote her that poem…

Isak shakes his head, not knowing if he wants to laugh or cry. – But that was just...   
  
Jonas nods, and closes his eyes for a moment. – You don't have to tell me. I was an idiot. When that poison gets into a man's mind… 

And yeah, Isak gets that. He had been jealous, too, back when Ingrid and Jonas were new. But he was jealous of Ingrid. And he never treated Jonas or Ingrid like Jonas has treated him. 

– Jonas, Isak says, and stares at him incredulously. – You really let it go too far. 

Jonas groans. – Yeah, I know. 

– I thought we could trust each other, Jonas!

– Yeah. Yeah I know, Jonas sighs. He looks uncomfortable, and it looks like he needs to force the next words out. – I don’t know... This isn’t meant as an excuse, but… I’ve been thinking a lot about why I let it go so far. It’s so weird. I wonder if I kind of jumped to this conclusion and… acted like this because of… mom, you know.

Isak sits up.  _ Oh shit. _ Of course, he should have known. Back in the last year at Grefsen, around that time Ingrid and Jonas got together for the first time, Jonas’ parents had divorced. And it had been ugly. It had turned out that Jonas’ mom had been cheating on his father with his father’s best friend for years. The parallel was pretty obvious.  _ Fuck.  _

– Do you think you suspected me easier because of your parent’s divorce? Isak asks.

– I don’t know, Jonas says, but his cheeks are flushed. – I know it fucked me up, though. Did I tell you what happened?  

Isak shakes his head. He knew about the divorce, and the infidelity, but he didn’t know much else. Jonas had shut his mouth and never spoken about it since it happened. 

Jonas sighs. He looks miserable. – I was the one who saw mom and the other guy together, and who told dad about it. And it kind of… fucked me up, you know? Because it broke up the family. Mom left and dad lost both his wife and his best friend. Thea and I kind of lost our mom.

Isak frowns. – Why do you sound guilty about that?

– Because I  _ do  _ feel guilty, I suppose? If I had kept my mouth shut she might have stayed. 

– Do you really believe that? Isak scoffs.

– Maybe not. But maybe that’s why it was so difficult to ask you about this thing… I just… I didn’t want it to mess up everything. I know I ended up messing up everything anyway, though.

Isak doesn’t have much to say to that.  

Just then, it’s like the air is thick with unspoken words between them, and Isak doesn’t know how or where to begin. – So, what happened? he sighs in the end. – What happened with you and Ingrid?

Jonas looks exhausted. – Well, I had noticed how Ingrid had changed, and of course I knew that we were struggling. So I started to believe that there had to be some truth to it. I was so mad at you both. But mostly disappointed in you, Isak. Because I couldn’t get how you could go behind my back like that. 

Isak scoffs. – I would never do something like that behind your back, Jonas!

Jonas grimaces. – No, I know… I mean, I should know...

Isak feels a new wave of anger. – Fuck, why didn’t you ask me, Jonas? Why did you just give me the silent treatment? 

Jonas stares at him, and it’s like he just realizes what he’s been doing. – I don’t know… I guess I didn’t know what to believe, and I didn’t want to say anything if it was just bullshit. But then Ingrid became more and more distant. And you two seemed to have a good connection. And I just couldn’t forget about it. And the worst part was… that my feelings for Ingrid weren’t that strong anymore. I still felt like you had let me down, though.

Isak frowns. – So what happened tonight then? 

_ After you made me quit my job. _

Jonas sighs, like he’s hearing the question he’s not asking. – Right after you left work this evening, I got a call from my private investigator. We agreed to meet at the shop, so I told the others to go home. 

– A private investigator, huh? Isak asks. He can’t hide a small smirk settling around his mouth. – Do they exist for real? 

– Sure, Jonas says with a bleak smile. – The one I use even has an app. Anyway, I let the others go home when the private investigator showed up. And by the way, each and every one of them told me what an idiot I was, for letting you quit. Eva especially. She reminded me about the fact that you were my best friend… I have never seen her so disappointed in me before, actually.

Isak’s heart feels like it’s growing too big to be inside of him. He needs to hear these words so badly. 

Jonas looks so small, so small. – When the private investigator turned up, he says, – she told me that Ingrid was in fact having an affair. But then… then she said it was Sara.

_ Oh _ . Sara’s having an affair with Ingrid? Isak didn’t see that one coming. – Sara, he repeats, like a parrot. 

– Yeah! Jonas sighs, a little red in his cheeks. – I should have thought about the fact that Ingrid could have fallen for a woman. I just… didn’t think. And fuck, I felt so stupid! I have always talked about fighting prejudice, gay and bi phobia and bi and pan erasure, and then I could be so blind? And I felt so horrible for treating you like I did… I was so sure I had lost you. 

Jonas is breathing in short gasps and is clutching his chest again, and Isak recognizes it. It’s the anxiety. – It’s okay, he says, automatically. – Slow breaths. 

– Fuck, Jonas says, as he slowly calms down again. – I was such an idiot, Isak. I’m so sorry!

Isak stares at him, not quite hearing the sorry. He can’t quite grasp the implications of what Jonas is telling him. 

– So… How do you…  feel about it all? he asks, with a tightness in his voice. 

– That Ingrid cheated on me? Jonas asks, with a huff. – I’m mad, of course. I can’t believe that she would do something like that. I know, we weren't exactly the perfect couple. We were struggling, a lot. We were talking about working on our relationship, and she pretended to be invested in it, and then… she just went behind my back like that. I was so mad. But then I started to think more about it and I mostly just felt… sad. And so guilty, and fucked up. I knew that I had fucked up things with you. And I was struggling with the shop. And Eva hated me, too. It was like… I was losing everything that mattered.

Isak struggles to hold back his tears, because he knows that feeling. He’s been there. – Yeah, fuck, that’s shit, he says. – But… uh... what do you think about her falling for another woman? 

Isak’s heart is beating fast in his chest. He knows this probably shouldn't be his first priority, but he still needs to know this. 

Jonas shrugs. – I guess it doesn’t matter, does it? Love is love? And I knew that she had fantasized about women, so I wasn’t that surprised about that, really. It pisses me off that she cheated on me. If she’d done it the right way I’d probably be fine with it! And, like I said, I feel horrible for suspecting you like I did… 

He swallows. – I’m so fucking sorry, Isak.

Isak nods at that, as he suddenly realizes how much it means to him, that Jonas is saying he’s sorry. Jonas hurt him really badly, acting like he did. – I just… wondered what the fuck was wrong, Jonas. That’s all. We were bros, right! And bros tell each other everything. So when you shut me out like that, it felt fucking horrible. 

– I know, Jonas says. He looks so sad, it’s almost painful to watch. – I was too tangled up in my own mess to remember that, and to see that I hurt you. I’m sorry. 

– Yeah. Good, Isak says. He leans back, and looks at Jonas. There’s still a question bouncing around inside of him. – You really don’t think it’s weird that Ingrid likes girls? he asks.

Jonas frowns. – Fuck, no. What, do you have problems with that? Get a fucking grip, Isak. 

– I don’t have problems with that! Isak pushes out. – It’s just… I thought. When we were younger everyone talked about what was gay and not and… what songs were too gay and... you did, too, Jonas.

Jonas stares at him. – I didn’t!

But the thing is, he did. And if he doesn’t remember that, Isak needs to tell him. Isak sighs. He feels like he needs to reach down to his toes to find the courage to say the next thing. – Yes you did, Jonas. I was gay for liking songs like “I’m Yours”, remember?

Jonas looks at him for a long time, and swallows. – I did, didn’t I. Fuck. That was in first year at Nissen, right? In our NWA phase?

Isak shrugs. – Like it was a phase. You still love them. 

– So do you, Jonas counters, with a small smile. Then he takes a deep breath. – I didn’t think... I guess I didn’t know how messed up I was back then. I was so sure of myself and my ideals. And I didn’t realize that I was prejudiced as fuck. I’m sorry.

Isak swallows. – Yeah. Thanks. And… I suppose I had my own prejudices. 

He knows it’s true. Eskild had to pluck off some of the assumptions Isak had about being gay, and some of the attitudes he had about being different in general. He remembers how watching openly gay men used to make him uncomfortable, because they reminded him of what he couldn't allow himself to be. It’s not like that anymore, but in many ways, he still struggles at times. Or else, he would have come out to his friends a long time ago, wouldn’t he?

A new silence spreads between them. Jonas has a contemplative look on his face as he looks at Isak and Isak feels the urge to just… say it. Tell him that he likes guys and has been crushing on Even. But it isn't that simple, is it?

In the end, he says nothing. It’s just… too much, too soon. They have talked, after all, and Jonas has said that he’s sorry. And maybe that’s enough at the moment. Jonas needs to get well.

Isak releases a deep breath. Deep down he knows it’s just a bad excuse not to say anything, but he pushes the thought away.

– So… Isak says, not knowing how to start or end the sentence. It feels like he’s been through a roller coaster of emotions. 

Jonas looks at him with warmth in his eyes. – So. I’m glad I got to tell you I’m sorry, Isak. Fuck, I’ve missed you. 

His words hit hard, but Isak hides it behind a cocky grin. – Yeah, I can get why, he says. – It’s me, after all. But yeah, it’s good to have you back, too. Now you should just chill and get well. Are you getting…  help?

– Yeah. I’ll sleep here tonight and then I guess I’ll be sent home. But I have a psychologist to talk to and stuff. So I’m okay.

– Good.

Jonas seems to think for a moment. – Do you remember the last time you came to my house for dinner?

Isak nods, wondering what Jonas is thinking about. 

– I said that if things go well, I might take it easier...and maybe by Christmas make you manager of the shop. Now I really have to take it easier.

– Of course, Isak says.

– Would you care to come back and work for me again? I know you haven’t even been gone a day, but...

Isak exhales. – Yeah, don't even think about it, Jonas. Of course.

Jonas nods, and swallows. – How is it possible that I ever distrusted you? I almost… couldn’t stand you for a moment there, because I felt like you weren’t my friend anymore. I don’t get how I could be so blind.

Isak’s chest aches from those words. – To be honest I don’t get it either, he says. – You made me feel like shit. So, if you doubt me like that again… you’d better tell me. Hell, no. Just don’t doubt me like that again  _ at all _ . Because I sure as Hell wouldn’t accept it. 

Jonas swallows. And swallows again. Then he nods. – I won’t, he says.

Isak sighs then. He’s still worked up, but he wants to move past this now. – Well, then I’m good, he says.

– Okay, Jonas says, nodding. – If you say so. So, you’re okay with coming back? 

Isak releases his breath. – Yeah. 

Jonas smiles then, a grateful smile. – Okay. Here are the keys to the shop. I should have trusted you with more responsibility ages ago. I know that. So use this chance while I pull myself together. Okay?

Isak needs to blink away some tears in his eyes, as he feels moved by Jonas’ gesture. – Thank you, Jonas. I’ll do my best until you’re back. 

– I know.

Isak feels a little in awe of the tasks ahead of him. – So. What shall I do about Sara? he asks.    
  
Jonas sighs. – Sara? I want her to leave, to be honest. But that’s not possible, I suppose. It’s not so very ethical to sack her for sleeping with the boss’ girlfriend. And I have no other valid reason to let her go.  

Isak can’t believe it. – She must at least get  _ some  _ consequences?

– Well, the law says that we can’t sack her unless she has misbehaved at work or done some serious shit, and… well, this isn’t it. I don’t want any scandal, and I really have no wish for revenge.

Isak scoffs. – That’s very… diplomatic of you to say, Jonas, he says.

– Well, I don’t need Sara to get punished for all this. Both Ingrid and Sara fucked up, and I can’t just take her job away from her because of it. But I don’t think I’ll manage seeing Sara at work every day, though. Not now, anyway. She probably doesn’t want to see me either. Change her shifts for a while. And then I guess we’ll find a solution later.

– Are you sure? Isak asks. – Don’t you think it will be uncomfortable for you to work at the shop? And for her, too?

Jonas shrugs. – Probably. But I don’t know what to do right now. And to be honest, I don’t care that much. I don’t know why I’m so calm about this. Ingrid and I were over a long time ago, I suppose. And I have been raging for weeks.

_ Yeah, that’s true.  _

– On the wrong guy, Isak corrects. His face has become rigid again, jaw clamped tight, teeth grinding. Shit. He thought he was over this. Well, not quite yet.

– Uhm, yeah… sorry. I know it’s weird that I let it all out on you and I’ll let Sara go so easily, but I just don’t know what to do. 

_ Yeah, well. _ Isak sighs. Takes a deep breath. Focuses. This thing with Sara doesn’t sit well with him at all. But he might find a solution. – Well, okay, Jonas, he says, – whatever you want. We’ll figure something out.

Jonas smiles. – Thanks.

Just then, Eva knocks and comes inside. – Everything alright? she asks, looking at them both.

– Yeah, we’re good, Isak nods. He sees the nervous look in her eyes, and gets up. – I was just about to leave.

– Okay, I suppose we should go, then, Eva says. 

– Wait, Jonas says. – Eva, I just… I don't know how to thank you. You saved my life.

Eva approaches the bed, and Isak steps back, to give her some room. She laughs, but she has a fondness in her eyes that can’t be denied. – Jonas… I didn’t save your life, silly. But I’m glad I could help.

– Well, it felt like you did, Jonas says. He blushes and looks at Eva with sincerity in his eyes. – Thank you, Eva. 

Eva shines as she smiles at him.

Isak watches them both.  _ Damn _ .  _ Jonas and Eva...  _ He knows that Jonas has had a thing for Eva, and Eva has told him about her crush on him. But they have never been like this. The tension between them is almost tangible.  _ What’s going on?  _ Maybe this thing with Ingrid could lead to a good thing, after all?

Jonas looks down. He studies his fingers, which are clutching the duvet. – I wish I could… repay you somehow. But if you want anything, anything at all, you know where to reach me. Right?   
  
Eva smiles a slow smile. There’s suddenly something teasing in her eyes. – Well, I would like to work more in the shop, and not just as your assistant.   
  
Jonas looks surprised, but then he nods. – When I start to feel better...

– But then you might change your mind! Eva interrupts. She is still smiling, but Isak can see that she's sincere, too. – And who knows how long you'll have to stay here?!

– I’ll be back in no time, Jonas snorts. Then he seems to look closer at her. – But you’re really serious about this, aren’t you? You really want to work more with sales?

– Yes, I do. 

Jonas smiles. – Alright, you can go out in the shop then, he says. – I’m sure Isak would be happy to do more paperwork. Right?

He looks at Isak.

Isak smiles back. – Yeah, you know that. I would love to get to do more planning and paperwork and shit.

– That includes to take care of the ordering, Jonas says. – You know, that’s an important responsibility. 

– Do I get to decide if we take in snow globes or some cool stuff instead, too?

Jonas laughs. – We’ll see. I’ll listen to what you have to say. And you’ll be opening the orders and listing everything in the inventory system. Doesn't it sound tempting? I hated to do that.

– Sounds great to me, Isak grins. He actually means it. Making systems that work is one of the things he actually likes to do. 

– Great, Jonas smiles back, looking tired but very pleased with himself. – Seems like I have been able to fix some things, at least. Now, get out of here!

– Sure, Isak nods. 

– Thanks, Jonas! Eva smiles, and shines like the sun. 

Jonas’ smile in return is quite goofy. Isak grins to himself.  _ Fuck _ , he must be smitten. Isak hasn’t seen Jonas like this in a long time.

Finally Isak and Eva give Jonas their hugs and turn around to go. But it seems like Jonas has a thing for fixing stuff, because he holds them back one more time. – Isak? he says.

Isak stops and turns back around. – Yeah?

Jonas smiles a slow smile, almost looking a bit wicked. – Now that you're the boss, if you want to give yourself a raise…

He raises his eyebrows and smiles. 

Isak laughs. – Okay. I'll talk it over with myself, and if I don't want too much money… l'll give me one. Thanks, Jonas!

Jonas just laughs. It’s strange, but he looks a lot lighter than he had when Isak entered the room. 

Isak is relieved, too. Jonas has acted like an idiot for quite some time, but now he is himself again. Isak feels like he should learn something from this, probably that it’s good to talk to each other, and that keeping secrets is no good. But it’s easier said than done, of course. Isak knows he should talk to Even about this Christmas shopper thing, for instance, he just… doesn’t know how to.

When they get out of Jonas’ room and enter the hospital corridor, Even looks up at them. He looks worried and anxious, and he stands up when they come over. – How was it? Is he okay?

– He’s okay, Eva says, – and in a damn good mood, too. It seems like he and Isak finally talked and made up. 

Even smiles widely and bumps Isak’s shoulder. – That’s cool. 

The touch makes Isak’s cheeks heat up. – It really is. I couldn’t get why he was so pissed with me. And then it turns out that it was kind of a terrible misunderstanding. He fucked up, basically, and treated me like shit because of it.

Even nods with a small smile, like he knows all about misunderstandings. – Did he apologize?

– Yeah, Isak nods. – I’m still pissed at him, I think, but not like before. It’s going to be alright.

Even tilts his head back and stares into the air for a moment, and Isak uses his chance to look at him a little closer. And in that moment, Even looks so cool, and distant, like he’s too cool to think about things that are here and now. And his eyes are so blue, and his lips so soft looking, and Isak can’t tear his eyes away, well, not before Even looks back at him. 

Isak’s heart is beating fast as he looks over at Eva. She smiles an amused smile, but she doesn’t say anything. – Okay, guys, she says, – I need to get home. But I’ll see you at work, yeah? 

– Sure, Isak nods, still feeling his heart beating in his chest. 

– Tomorrow, Even says, and gives her a hug. 

Isak gives her one, too, and then she leaves. 

Then Isak and Even are standing there in the harshly lit corridor, looking at each other and feeling kind of awkward. At least, Isak is feeling awkward. He can’t believe that he’s standing here, with this sweet and annoyingly hot guy who he has kissed, as Even, and flirted with, as his Christmas shopper. And now it’s not very likely that anything more will happen. Not after Isak left Even at that restaurant.

For a small moment, he allows himself to wonder what would have happened, if he had dared to go inside that restaurant. Would Even have been disappointed, or would they actually have had a good time?

– So, he says. – I suppose it’s time to go home?

– Yeah, Even nods. – I think I’ll walk. It’s not so far, he says, and tells Isak his address. Isak realizes that it’s not so far from his own place. 

He hesitates for a moment. – Do you mind if we… go together? he asks. – It’s the same direction.

Even looks surprised. – Sure, that’s fine by me, he says.

They find their pace and walk out of the hospital and into the cold night.  Isak tells Even a little of his talk with Jonas, but apart from that, it’s quiet between them. Isak is mostly fine with that; there has been a lot of talking today, after all, and it’s been a looong day. 

– I’m sorry I was rude when we met earlier tonight, he says. – I guess I was having a rough day, and I thought I was being funny. 

Even nods. – I get that you were shocked that Jonas fired you, he says. – And I had a bad day, too. I’m sorry I was so sour. This guy stood me up, you know...

Isak just remembers that he’s not supposed to know that Even was about to see a guy. 

– You’re dating a guy? he asks, in an attempt to cover it up.

Even nods. – Yeah. Well, that was the plan.

He looks kind of frustrated, and Isak feels a pang of guilt again. This is all his fault, for being scared of everything. He shuts his eyes for a moment. – You shouldn’t be sorry at all, Even. It was all my fault. Actually, I should tell you something. 

He takes a deep breath, mustering all the courage he can find. 

Even stares at him, and his expression is impossible to read. – Don’t, he says. – Just let it be. Can we… talk about something else?

Isak doesn’t know why Even is stopping him, but he’s kind of relieved. It’s just too easy to let it go. He can tell Even later.

– Sure, Isak nods. 

– So, Even says, as he takes a deep breath, – are you planning some big changes in the store, now that you run the show?

Isak smiles a weak smile. – Nah, I suppose I need to talk to…

– Sara? Even asks, with a worried look. – Eva told me. No details, but… Enough that I get that things could get tricky. 

– Yeah. We’ll have to have a talk. I think I will have Sara take the shifts when Jonas isn’t there. At least for a while. 

– Yeah. 

– Apart from that we should just prepare for Christmas, I think. I have some ideas, but we’ll see what we manage to do with them. 

Even nods. – So. How did a science guy like you end up in this shop? he asks.

Isak sticks his cold hands deep into his pockets. – I was studying, but didn’t know what to do. So when Jonas offered me the job, I said yes. It was music, after all. How bad could it be? 

Isak almost expect a chuckle from Even, but he just smiles. – Sounds familiar. I just had a small crisis of my own. I was studying media, but the other self-obsessed TV-hungry students just… made me kind of sick. And suddenly I didn’t know if I wanted to go that way anyway.  

– TV-hungry?

– Yeah, it felt like they all were just obsessed about being on TV. I don’t know. I might have been just… scared. I’m kind of afraid that if what I live for becomes my work, I will lose my passion. You know?

– Yeah…

In fact, Isak can understand it almost too well. He’s so scared to make the wrong choice. If he chooses to study what he loves the most, will he get fed up with it? If he chooses something else, will he regret it?

– So you decided that working with music was a good thing instead?

– Yeah, Even nods. 

– Well, I hope you don’t have to use two years to figure out what you want, like I have, Isak says with a chuckle. 

– Have you figured it out?

Isak frowns. – I don’t know. Now I’ll get the chance to see if I like to do more planning and administrative things at work. Maybe that’s enough. It’s not science, but it might be okay.

Even just hums an answer. They walk in silence for a moment and Isak notices that Even’s kind of quiet tonight. Isak wonders if this evening has brought him down. Hell, it would be strange if not. Isak releases his breath. The silence caresses him like a cool breeze, soothing his soul, taking away his jagged edges. It has been one hell of a rough day. 

After the frenetic day and evening, walking quietly next to Even is peaceful. It’s maybe a little awkward, but still peaceful. It’s the middle of the night and even the birds are quiet. There isn't a car in sight. Isak drinks in the silence through every pore, soothed by its calm. Each time a worrying thought emerges, he throws it away.  _ Not now _ , he thinks. Not now.

– I’m sorry that you got dragged into all this, he says, after a little while. 

– It’s alright, Even says. He stops, and looks at Isak. – I don’t mind being dragged into this. I want to be part of the shop.

Isak can’t help it, he really likes hearing that. Even wants to be part of whatever the shop is. It must mean that Even won’t just disappear.

– That’s great, he says.

Even hums. – So… weren’t you supposed to meet someone too this evening? he asks, out of the blue.

And Isak doesn’t know what to say.  _ Yes _ , he was about to meet someone. But right now, he just wants to forget about that, and get to know the real Even better. Although he knows that Even some day, pretty soon, will figure out that Isak is the guy who stood him up. 

– Yeah, I was supposed to see someone, he admits.

Even has a weird look on his face. – Eva said something about a girl you were texting? 

Isak sighs.  _ Fuck. Fucking hell. _ How is he supposed to get out of this? First of all.. A girl??? And how can he talk about the texting without revealing it all? And what if... what if Even is starting to get suspicious? Isak had said his name on that app, after all?

– I have been texting someone, yeah, he says. – But uh… you know, I quit my job, and it didn’t seem like the right time. So. I called it off and spent some time with Eva instead. 

– Right, Even says. His look is piercing. – Okay. Well. I didn't know you were seeing someone.

Isak huffs. – I suppose it probably isn't easy for you to imagine anyone… could like a guy like me.

– Let's not start that all over again, Even says. – Besides, you're wrong. Do you mind if I tell you something?

– No, what?

– When I first came to work at the shop, something very strange happened to me. I got…  confused, I think.

– Yeah?

– Yes. I found myself looking at you again and again. I just couldn't take my eyes off of you. I kept saying, "Even, what on earth is the matter with you.” Now, here comes the paradox. I found myself falling for you.   
  
Isak can’t breathe. He stares at Even. – I can't believe it.

– Yes, and very much so.

– You certainly didn't show it.

– In those first few weeks… I know you won't misconstrue what I'm going to say to you. Since you are seeing someone else. But in those first few weeks, there were moments in the stockroom...when you could have done more than just kissed me.

Isak sighs. – Now  _ I'm _ getting confused here.

Even shrugs. – I guess… I was a different guy, then. I was rather naive.   
  
– Well, that's all forgotten now, Isak says. – You’re dating someone else. By the way, is it serious?   
  
– Yeah, well, it depends on if we’ll meet again.

How is it possible that Isak feels jealous? How can he be jealous of himself? Even can’t be serious. Can he?

– What about you? Even asks. – That date you talked about. Do you think it could be the one?

Isak shrugs, as he thinks that he’d much rather learn how to know this man in front of him, than to pursue a fantasy in an app. – I don’t know, but probably not, he says.

Even has kind of a blank look on his face. – Okay. Well. I hope things turn out well for you, either way.

– Uhm, you too, Isak says. 

Then they part ways. 

That night, Isak’s mind spins with the thoughts from the most eventful and intense day he has experienced in a long, long time. But the thing his mind always comes back to, is the memory of Even’s eyes as he looked at him, right before they parted ways that night. It’s haunting him.

In the end Isak falls asleep, more out of exhaustion than anything else, and he has no dreams that he can recall. 

Isak wakes up the next day feeling worn out and tired, but with the knowledge that he has an important job to do. During the first hours at work, he is busy doing the things Jonas has asked him to. Seeing Sara is maybe the hardest part. 

Eva seems to avoid her as much as possible, but Isak knows that he can’t take the liberty of doing that. He needs to fix it, somehow. Jonas wants to avoid Sara, but the law prevent them from just sacking her for having an affair with the boss’ girlfriend, and Isak isn’t sure what they can do. He just knows they have to do  _ something _ .

In the end, Isak decides to talk to her. 

– Good to see you back, again, Sara says, as he approaches her. She looks concerned, but also curious. – Did you regret it? You weren’t away, even for a day! Well, now we're all one little happy family again.

– Sure, Isak nods. – I need to talk to you, about that, he admits. – Can we go into the office?

– Sure.

They go into Jonas’ office and Isak fights the feeling of not belonging there. Sara looks as if she has the same feeling. Just as Isak sits down in the chair behind the desk, the phone rings. 

– Hello! Yes, this is Around the Corner, it’s Isak.

It’s silent for a moment, before Isak hears a familiar, warm voice. – Isak? 

– Even? Hi! What’s the matter? 

Isak’s heart races. He sends Sara a look, but since she doesn’t seem to get that she should leave, so he turns away from her.

– Oh, Even says, – I forgot that you are managing the store now. I just… I don’t think I can come to work today. I’m… sick. 

He does sound tired, and his voice is quivering a little. Isak feels a pang of worry in his chest. 

– Okay. I hope it's nothing serious? he asks, feeling a sneaking sense of guilt. This couldn’t be about Isak not seeing him right? Even is better off without his sorry ass anyway, right?

– No. Uhm. I have this thing that… things get rough sometimes. It’s all in my papers. So I guess you know that, now that you’re managing everything.

He sounds flat in his voice, almost defeated. 

_ Papers?  _ Isak frowns. – Do you mean the work contract? Or you wrote about it in your application, probably. Yeah, I haven’t looked at that. I don’t know what I’m supposed to know, but I’m glad you say it’s not serious. 

– Yeah, it’s… I just need to take it slow sometimes, so I don’t burn out. I feel bad for not being there. It’s pretty busy now, and everything.

Isak’s chest gets this aching feeling again. God, Even is just too good… He shouldn’t worry about the workplace when he’s sick!

Isak shakes his head, as if Even could see him. – Don’t worry about the shop, Even. We have it under control. Unless you’re absolutely alright, you shouldn’t come in. 

– Yeah?

– Yeah, Isak confirms. He doesn’t know what more to say. He wants to say something supportive, but he can’t find the right words. – Uhm… I just… thanks for being so great yesterday and… supporting me, I mean supporting us. 

– That was... no problem.

– Well, it meant a lot. And.. take good care of yourself, Even, he adds. – See you in a few days, yeah?

– Yeah.

Sara looks at him when he hangs up. – Really, Isak, that's a wonderful attitude, she says.

– What's so wonderful about it? he asks, confused and a little irritated.

Sara shrugs. – It’s just… I've been around, and I have my eyes open. If anyone didn't agree with you here, it was Even.

Isak shakes his head. – Just leave Even out of this.

– Don't misunderstand me. I have nothing against Even. On the contrary, he's a nice guy. Only sometimes, he went too far. The way you two were bickering…

– Not another word about Even, Isak says in a harsh voice. – He's a fine guy and a good seller, and you should just stop talking.

Sara’s eyes widen. – You misunderstand me. I didn't mean any offense, she says. – I was agreeing with you!

– Agreeing with me? I don't want you to... Isak groans. – Fuck, Sara, have you forgotten that I  _ know _ you?

Has she forgotten that he knows how she twists and turns and manages to make everything to her advantage? Not because she’s bad per se, it’s just her way of dealing with things. It’s fucking annoying, though. More than anything, he wants to kick Sara out right now, and sack her. But he knows he can’t do that. 

He sighs. He needs to talk to her, and tell her about Jonas. But how? He doesn’t know how to say it without sounding abrupt and horrible, so he ends up saying it abruptly and horribly. 

– So. I need to tell you. Jonas has discovered that you and Ingrid have this thing, he says. 

Sara stares at him in shock. – Thing? she whispers. 

– Yeah. He knows that you two are having an affair, I guess. 

Sara shuts her eyes then, and that’s when Isak knows for sure that it’s true.

– I… We didn't mean to hurt anyone, she says, and for a moment she looks tired and small. – We just fell in love. I’m sorry.

Isak looks at her. – Say that to Jonas. He’s the one who had to find out like this.

Sara doesn’t say anything to that, but she looks guilty.

Isak hesitates for a moment, as something suddenly hits him. – But I suppose you expected that to happen in the end, didn’t you? You were the one who sent him that anonymous letter, right? 

– I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Sara looks far too guilty for that to be true.

Isak gives her one of his knowing looks. – Sara. Come on. I’m not out to get you or anything, I just… We need to fix this. And pretending that you know nothing about it isn’t very helpful.

Sara sighs. – Yeah, I just… I needed something to happen, I guess. Ingrid was just stuck in this relationship with Jonas and… she never did anything about it, and… I had to do something. I didn’t think he would figure out it was me, though. 

Isak clenches his teeth. – No, because you knew he would suspect me first, right?

Sara shrugs, but at least she looks somewhat ashamed. – I suppose. I didn’t know he would treat you like he did, though. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting Jonas and I’m sorry I got you into trouble. I didn’t… think...

Isak has to laugh. – What did you think? That Jonas would talk to us all and fix it with a democratic vote or something? I know Jonas is chill, but he’s not  _ that _ chill. 

Sara avoids looking at him. – Of course. I guess. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.

Isak sighs. – Well. It doesn’t matter now, anyway. I just don’t get… How could you do something as stupid as this? It’s gonna make things a bit tricky around here. 

She looks at him suspiciously. – How come?

– It will get awkward, right? And you know, Jonas is a good guy, so he wants to treat you fairly, but he’s struggling a bit with the thought of seeing you every day at work. 

Sara sighs. – Yeah. But… Is he going to sack me for this? Are you going to sack me?

Isak shakes his head. – Of course not. But your shifts will be arranged around when Jonas is out of the store for now. You’ll meet at times, but that’s just how it’ll be. 

Sara seems to think for a moment. – Right. But it can’t be like that forever. That’s… I need to think about this a little, but I guess it’ll be best if I resign. 

The relief rushes through Isak. That really would be best. – You have a point, he nods. – Think it over. 

Sara nods. – But uh… Has Jonas talked to Ingrid yet? 

– I don’t know. Probably. But she would have told you, right? 

– Yeah. Well, she’s a bit absent minded, and forgets to turn on the sound of her phone at times. 

Isak shrugs. – Well, I suppose he’ll tell her soon, then. 

He gets up, to signal that the talk is over. – I think it would be wise if you take the rest of the day off. You probably need some time to figure out things with Ingrid. And we need a little time to plan out the new work schedule. Let us know what you decide to do, right? We would totally get it if you choose to resign. We will give you a recommendation letter and one months salary. 

Sara nods then. She looks a little embarrassed. – I’m really sorry about how you got caught up in this mess. Thanks for being so great about it. I don’t know if I’ll manage to keep working here, but it’s very nice of you not to just kick me out. 

Isak shrugs. – No problem, Sara, he says, and realizes that he actually means it, too. It would be so easy to hate Sara for the mess she has created, but Isak actually has no wish for revenge. Well, maybe a little, but he knows he should be professional. And it feels right to be professional. He wants justice though, and this is as close to justice they probably can get. Sara is forced to change her work schedule or resign her job. It will have to be enough. He shakes her hand and lets her go. 

He sits for a moment, staring at the door Sara shut behind her. So.  _ He did it _ . It surprises him how relieved he feels, like a burden is lifted off him. He texts Jonas, telling him what he’s done. Jonas answers with thanks and a thumbs up. 

When Isak leaves Jonas’ office and walks into the shop, he’s glad to see the activity out there. Eva is there, helping the customers, and Isak decides to help at the counter. It was maybe silly to let Sara go home, now that Even is sick and they have a lot to do, but he knows that he and Eva can manage for today. Even if Sara decides to leave, they will manage, at least with the temps.

It’s almost lunchtime when the phone rings, and Eva answers the phone at the desk. – Around the Corner, good morning.

She sends Isak an awkward look, and Isak guesses at once who it is. 

– Yes, Ingrid, Eva says. – Hello. Yes, this is Eva. That's right.

Isak fights the urge to grab the phone. He’s afraid that Eva will say something offensive, at the same time as he kind of feels that would be alright. Ingrid did make a whole lot of mess, after all.

– I didn't bring you that bottle of perfume? Well, I’m not going to bring it either, Eva says with a huff. – What do you think of that? You want to speak to Jonas? That's too bad. At the moment he's up in a balloon with two blondes. 

_ No, Eva!!  _ Isak tries to kill her with his eyes, but Eva ignores him.

– You wouldn't like to speak by any chance to Sara instead? 

It’s silent for a moment, as Eva’s angry face turns sad. – No, he hasn’t gossiped about this, Ingrid. I had to drag it out of him! He was having a fucking anxiety attack! How come you don’t know this?

– Yeah, six missed calls is probably a sign that you should check your phone more often. You didn’t react when he didn’t come home last night? Right. 

Eva gets quiet again, and then she sighs. – Yeah, I know that, Ingrid. And relax, Jonas is fine. Just phone him, yeah?     
  
She is quiet for a little longer. – Listen. We all do stupid things sometimes. I just expected more from you, that’s all. You should have talked to Jonas, you know that! You should have done this the right way! 

And then: – I’m sorry, Ingrid, I don’t have time for this, right now. Okay. Bye.

Eva puts down the phone and sighs once more. – That was weird. 

Isak stares at her.  _ Eva...  _ He doesn’t know if he’s impressed or appalled. How can she be so calm about it all?

Eva must sense his question, because she shrugs. – I just realized that it could have been me. I was so close to kissing Jonas once. I guess I don’t feel like I should judge too much.

Isak leans back. – So. Has Jonas talked to her? he asks.

– She had a lot of messages and unanswered phone calls, because she forgot to have the sound on her phone. But I guess this means that she’ll finally talk to him.

– Huh, Isak says and nods. – So. Do you think it will last? This thing between Sara and Ingrid?

Eva shrugs. – It might. Sara comes off as this bossy manipulative bitch, but she has her struggles, too. Ingrid has always seemed to get that. And Sara behaves better because of it.

Isak nods to that. – Sounds fair, I suppose.

He looks up when the door opens and a group of customers enter. It seems to be a group of dark-haired boys…  _ wait _ … 

_ Sana? _

What’s his favorite Biology buddy doing here? Now he recognizes one of the boys next to her as Yousef, the guy she has been dating. Isak can see her brother Elias too.

– Hi! Sana says, smiling. – It’s been a while!

Eva makes a squealing sound and moves around the counter to give Sana a hug and wave to the boys. It seems like she knows them a little. – What are you doing here? Aren’t you studying?

– Well, I can be flexible if I have to, Sana says and looks at Isak. Her eyes are curious. – I thought you left your job, Isak? 

Isak shrugs. – Things happened. Jonas… well, I needed to come back. But if you aren’t here to see me, why are you here? 

Sana shrugs. – I was here to see Eva and yell at Jonas, to be honest, she says. – Eva told me some of the stuff that was happening and I couldn’t get how he could treat you like that. And… yeah, the boys and I wanted to see Even at his new job, too. 

For some reason, her words about talking to Jonas make Isak choke up. But then…  _ Wait _ …  _ Even?  _ He stares at the boys. – Uh.. Even? You know Even?

– Yeah! Yousef says, and reaches out a hand. He smiles widely. – I’m – 

– Yousef, Isak smiles, still a little shocked. – Yes, I know, I’ve seen pictures. I’m Isak. But how do you know Even?

– We’ve been friends for ages, one of the others say. He stretches out his hand. – I’m Mikael, by the way.

– Uh... hi.

He greets the other boys, too. 

Isak can’t believe it. Even knows Sana. What if he has guessed about her on Isak’s gift list? Well, Isak had never mentioned Sana in the store, he should be safe. 

– So, where is Even? Elias asks.

– He’s sick, Eva shoots in, as she gives him her best smile. – Jonas is too, actually.

Isak doesn’t know why Sana and all the boys suddenly look worried.

– Even? Sick how? Sana asks.

Isak shrugs. – He said something about it being in his application for this job. I don’t think I should look into those papers, I’m not his employer, after all. That’s Jonas’ job. 

Sana frowns. – Hm, we should maybe give him a visit, then, just to see how he’s doing. 

Isak starts to feel nervous. – Is it something serious? he asks.

Sana shakes her head. – Nah, nothing like that. It’s just… I’ll let him tell you himself when he’s ready to, okay?

Isak nods. He realizes that he actually trusts that Sana knows what’s best.  _ Well, what do you know. _ They really have come a long way compared to the first suspicious glares they used to give each other back when they sat together in Biology.

– Yeah, okay, Isak says. – So, you’re off to see Even then? Uhm... Tell him that we wish him the best, okay?

Sana looks at him with badly hidden curiosity in her eyes. – Of course. 

– In fact, Isak adds, and searches in one of the boxes with records that he was just looking through, – can you give him something from me? 

He finds what he’s looking for, writes a sloppy “get well” on a post it note and hands it to Sana. 

Sana stares at him like she has never seen something as strange before. – What is this, Isak? Why? When did you start to send get well messages, and… Gabrielle?

The boys standing around her give Isak curious looks, too. As does Eva. 

Isak blushes. – I… uh, it’s just an inside joke, he says. – Fuck it, give it back, he says, and reaches for the record.

– No way, Sana says. She’s smiling now, and there’s something knowing in that smile. – I’ll give it to him. And ask if he knows what it’s all about. There’s more to it than a joke. You’re not fooling me, Isak Valtersen. 

Isak groans. – It was just a stupid impulse, because he likes Gabrielle. 

– He does, Yousef says, nodding. He gives Isak a small smile. – I’m sure he’ll appreciate the… inside joke. 

Isak doesn’t know what to say. He really regrets the idea about the record now, but it’s too late. Sana hugs it like it’s a treasure.

While they have been talking, the boys have been looking around in the shop, and before they go, Mikael and Yousef end up picking up some records. Eva manages to push a snowglobe on Mutta, too. – I don’t even celebrate Christmas, he says, – but I know someone I can give it to.

Isak holds Sana back for a moment. – Could you guys… kind of.. not tell Even that you know me?

Sana stares at him. – Why?

Isak frowns. – It’s kind of… I have a surprise for him?

Sana gives him her “don’t fuck with me” death stare. – Seriously, Isak, what’s going on? 

Isak sighs. A part of him wants to tell her everything, but it somehow feels wrong right now.  – I don’t know, I kind of just want to keep it as a secret for a little while. I… I will tell you all about it, but not right now, okay?

She stares at him for a long time. Then she seems to decide to give him a chance. – Fine, she says. – We won’t mention that I know you. Not yet. We’ll just say that I followed the boys here to see him. But you’d better explain what’s going on soon, because I don’t like people who fuck over their friends. 

– I know. And I am really not doing that. Promise. 

– Okay then, Sana says, and finally gives him a hug. – Later, Isabell, she says.

– Later, Sanasol. 

He watches them go, with their wide grins and cheers and he hopes that they will make Even feel better. He had sounded so tired on the phone, and these guys seem very capable of lifting his spirits. 

His mind is on Even through the rest of the day. That evening, he sends the Christmas shopper Even a silly Seinfeld meme and a text:

_ I am sorry I never showed up, I hope I can make it up to you ;)  _

_ No problem. You should at least get your Christmas presents. :) I’m sorry if I came on too strong. If you want to, I can deliver the presents wherever, you don’t even have to meet me.  _

_ No, you didn’t come on too strong, don’t worry. I look forward to see what you’ve found. _

_ That’s good, then.  _

Isak frowns at his phone. The tone between them has really changed. It’s so polite, it almost hurts to read it. He knows he should answer, and maybe suggest to meet up again, but he doesn’t know what more to say. He desperately wants to fix this, but he also dreads it. A customer approaches him, so he puts his phone away and decides to answer later.

A couple of days go by before Even is back at work, and although Isak is busy, he can feel Even’s absence in his bones.  

When Even finally shows up, Isak feels his heart speed up at once. Even enters the shop dressed in layers of clothing, with earplugs in his ears and the hoodie over his head. He looks a little bit tired, and very, very cool and distanced. He nods to Isak and Eva, but doesn’t say anything as he takes his jacket off and hangs it up.

Isak can only stare at him. Even looks so unapproachable in a way. He looks like he’s too cool to be talked to. Isak needs to gather a lot of courage before he dares to go over to him. Even looks at him with an almost startled look. – Halla.

– Halla, Even, Isak says, smiling.  _ Let’s try to be friendly. See if that helps _ . – Are you feeling better?

Even smiles, too, but it’s a very careful smile. – That's alright, thanks. And uh… thanks for the record. It was nice of you. 

Isak smiles. – Well, you like her more than I do, I suppose, so...

Even smiles a little, and nods. – Yeah. Well. I should talk to Jonas.

Isak hides his disappointment of Even being so casual about it all. And of course, Isak gets the idea to be funny in just that moment. – Here he is, he says, stretching out his arms. – I'm Jonas.

Even raises his eyebrows. – Ha ha. I’m sorry, I’m not in the mood for jokes, Isak. Not today. So you’re still managing for him?

Isak feels like an idiot. – Yeah. Sorry. I do have great news, though. Jonas is better and he’s coming back to work soon.

Even hardly responds. 

– Oh, that’s wonderful! Eva shoots in from the counter behind them. – Can we visit him?

Isak turns towards her. – Sure, we could maybe give him something? Could you fix that, Eva, and we can give him a visit?

– I can! Let's get him a little Christmas tree. He’s so shit at decorating for Christmas.

– Sounds nice, Isak smiles, and turns back to Even. – I’m sorry, but Jonas won’t be back for a day or two.

Even sighs. – Shit, I thought I could talk to him about taking things a little easy. Everything is still just going round and round at times, and...

– Oh, fuck, sit down… 

Even smiles. – Not  _ now _ . I’m fine. I just need to take things slow for a bit. 

Isak is still confused and very curious about Even’s condition, but he holds back his questions. – I’m sorry, but I… Being in charge of the shop, I feel like I have some responsibility, and… Could we talk?

– Sure, Even nods, looking quite sceptical.

They go into Jonas’ office and sit down. – So, how are you doing? Isak asks. – I just thought… You don’t have to tell me everything, but I thought it was a good idea that we talked about what you can and can’t do at work. 

Even thinks for a moment. – I’m mostly fine. 

– That’s good. But of course you shouldn’t neglect yourself. I'm very serious about this… because I kind of feel responsible for the whole thing.

Isak swallows.  _ Oops. _ That was a bit too much, maybe. 

– You? Even asks.

Isak shrugs.   
  
– Oh, no, Isak, Even smiles. – I think I can ease your mind. It wasn't your fault at all. No, there's a much bigger reason, unfortunately.

– There is? Isak asks with his heart in his throat.

– My trouble is what one might call… psychological. Do you uh… know anyone with a mental illness?

Isak swallows. Shit, he didn’t know he would ever tell Even about his mom like this. – Uh. Well. My mom has Schizophrenia. And Anxiety. And I know some people with Depression and stuff. 

Even stares at him like he had expected a totally different answer. – Right. Well. What do you think about that?

– It’s not always easy, Isak says, shrugging. – I suppose I struggled quite a bit with my mom when I was younger, you know? 

He pauses for a moment, as he recalls the fear, and the worries and the shame. – To be honest, I used to fight so hard to be like everybody else. Well, I still do, about some things. So, having a mother with a mental illness was something that kind of.. scared me and… that I was ashamed of. Luckily my friends were supportive and… that helped me get my head out of my ass.

Isak sends Even a worried look. Did he admit too much? It feels a little like he did. How come Even always makes him talk about everything?

Even looks back at him and nods. He takes a deep breath. – Well, okay. Uhm. I have bipolar disorder. 

– You do? Isak says, and,  _ of course _ , that was the thing in his papers.

– Yeah. I take medication, and I don’t have many… episodes anymore. But I sometimes need to take it slower, just to get my head above water again. So. These last weeks have been a little stressful, and… I know I need to slow down. It's my own personal problem, and I'll come out of it.

Isak nods. He can’t help thinking about his mom. He knows it’s not the same, but he remembers all the fears and the frustrations with her Schizophrenia and anxieties and he wishes that Even wouldn’t have to experience anything like that.

– I'm sorry, Isak says. – It's a shame you have to go through all this. I hope you’ll feel better soon. 

Even rubs his forehead. – Thanks. I’ll be okay if I just have the possibility to take a break if I need it.

– Of course! Isak smiles. – I’m just glad you could tell me this. 

It’s true, it feels like a privilege. 

– Great, Even says. For some reason, he looks sad. – I think I’ll go then. Get some work done.

Isak nods. The tone between them has really changed. They are both so polite and careful… When Isak watches Even walk away he feels like he has lost something that he never knew he had. 

He doesn’t know, but that might be the reason why he tries to contact Even on the Christmas Shopper app again later that evening. Even is busy talking with some customers, when Isak sends him another text and silly meme on the app. Even has just come back to the counter when his phone makes a sound. He looks at his phone, gets a strange look on his face, and he looks at Isak. 

Isak smiles, and pretends that he doesn’t know what’s going on. Pleased with how he managed to send the meme and text without Even noticing. 

– Someone special? he asks.

– Just the guy I was supposed to meet, Even mutters. – Well, I can look at it later.

– Oh, don’t mind me, Isak smiles. – Go ahead and read the text. 

Even looks hesitant. – If you don't mind?

– Not at all.

Even stares at the text. His expression is impossible to read. 

– Good news? Isak asks.

It takes forever before Even answers. He nods, although his smile is a little bleak. – I guess. Well, at least it’s not bad news. It’s just a silly meme. I guess this thing ends there, though.

Isak stares at him. – Yeah, why is that?

– I don’t know. It’s just how he is, I guess. He flirts, then he doesn’t show up. Then he flirts again. Mixed signals, you know?

Isak nods. It’s difficult to pretend that he knows nothing about it. Especially when he’s so bad at lying. – So… uh... why do you think this friend of yours afraid to meet up with you? he asks.

Even sends him a long look. – No, Isak, actually I don’t think he was afraid. He probably just didn’t like what he saw.    
  
– Bullshit, Isak scoffs. – How do you even know he was there?

Even stares at him. – I don’t know, Isak? How do  _ you  _ know that it’s bullshit? You’re not him. You’re very different from him, actually. You just argue with me, while he says that I remind him of stars and Christmas music…

_ Damn _ . He did write that once. Isak wonders what Even means with that stare, though. He’d better change the subject. – Speaking of Christmas music, we've had a lot of trouble… selling those snowglobes, haven't we? Isak asks.

Even sighs. – Well, you can consider one box sold, he says. – Yes. I've just had an inspiration. I'll give one to my texting friend for Christmas.

His texting friend? But that’s Isak? He tries to hold back a frown. – Even, you're taking an awful chance. Why don't you give him a record instead? Or a cool t-shirt? I'm sure he'd love it. Any man would.

Even shakes his head, and now his mouth curls into a small smile. – I'm not interested.

To be honest, Isak wouldn’t mind getting a snowglobe from Even. Somehow, that would be fitting. He just feels that with the lies and everything, it would feel  _ wrong _ . Like he didn’t deserve it. – You could use your employee discount?

– No, I'm sorry. I'm going to give him a snowglobe.

Isak nods and realizes that he’s defeated. The weird part is, that he almost feels jealous. He knows that Even is talking about him, but Isak still feels like he’s competing with someone. Competing with himself? How ridiculous. – There's not much more I can say, then. Except that I wish you both the best, I guess.

– Thank you, Isak, Even says. – I should go. I’m going to see the boys tonight. You know, the guys that were here, looking for me.

– Right, Isak nods. – Sounds like fun. 

– Yeah. Good night, Isak.

– Good night, Even.

And Even is gone. 

He stays with Isak in his mind, though, all that afternoon. Isak knows that he should have been braver. He should have told Even everything. The longer he keeps this secret, the worse it all will be. In the end, Even will hate him for lying. 

That evening he agrees to visit Jonas, just to say hi. Eva had already been there with the small Christmas tree she wanted to give him, and Mahdi and Magnus had been there earlier, too. And Ingrid is staying with her parents for a few days. Jonas should be alone.   

Isak is kind of relieved. He has silently been hoping to get to talk to Jonas alone for a little while.

When he rings the doorbell it strikes him that he hasn’t been here since Jonas last invited him to dinner. That was the day before Even turned up at the record shop. It seems like ages ago. It sort of is, too. 

Jonas opens the door, smiles and gives him a bro hug. He looks tired, but still kind of good. 

– Come in, he says. 

Isak enters, and stares with wide eyes when he does. Jonas has decorated for Christmas. And not in the minimalistic and classy way Ingrid normally does. There’s nothing classy about this. It’s glitter, colours and santas all over the place, and Isak has seldom felt so  _ at home  _ before.

– You’ve decorated, he says.

– Eva helped me, Jonas said with a wide smile. –  And she even brought some of her own. We only had decorations in silver and white. We decided that it was too boring. 

– You did, did you? Isak smiles. He looks around as he hangs up his jacket. – Well, I like it. 

– Great, Jonas says, still with a smile on his face, too. – Let’s go to the kitchen. We could grab a beer. 

So Isak follows him, and Jonas get them beers from the fridge. 

– How are you doing? Isak asks, as he sits down at the kitchen table. 

– Better, Jonas sighs. – I haven’t had any more attacks since last time. It helps to hang around people and not to stress.

Isak picks at his bottle at the table. – Good. 

– Yeah. And you? 

– Sure, I’m good, too, Isak says. 

Jonas looks at him and nods. 

Isak takes a deep sip from his beer. He notices that Jonas is watching him. In fact, Jonas is sending him one of his _looks_. He doesn’t have to say anything, but Isak knows that Jonas knows that this is not just a visit like any other visit. It’s like Jonas is saying _cut the crap, what’s up?_ No, wait, that’s wrong. It’s like he says _I can see_ _something’s up, talk to me when you’re ready to talk._

Isak stares at him. That’s funny how they do that sometimes, how they talk without talking. With their distance lately, Isak had forgotten how it used to be.

The silence between them widens, and it’s like the small kitchen is waiting for something, too. Isak suddenly knows it’s the right time. He takes a deep breath. – I should tell you something, he finally says.

– Yeah? Jonas says, and looks even closer at him. – What?

Isak takes another deep breath. There’s no way back now. _Fuck it_. – You know, I have been chatting with someone lately?

Jonas smiles a little. – Yeah, Eva said something about it, actually. You’ve gotten sort of a crush on your Christmas shopper, right?

– Well, the whole thing has turned out a bit tricky… but yeah, Isak says. – And, well… The person is actually someone we know.

– Yeah? Jonas says and looks at him with a new curiosity in his eyes. – Who is it?

Isak hesitates. Everything in him screams to him that Jonas will hate him if he says it and that he should shut up.  _ Fuck _ , this was more difficult than he thought it would be. – Can you guess?

– No, I can’t guess, Isak, Jonas says and comes out with a mix of a sigh and a laugh. – Fuck, we’re too old for shit like that. Who is it?

Isak shuts his eyes for a second. – Well, it’s not a girl, he says, and checks Jonas for his reaction.

Jonas nods, not flinching at all. – Alright, so who is it?

_ He’s fine with it _ . Isak finally relaxes a little. – Uhm. It’s Even, he says.

Jonas nods then. Smiles a little, and mouths his name. – So, you like that handsome dude, huh? And he’s your Christmas shopper, too? Fuck, what were the odds, right?

– Right.

Jonas looks at him. – So how is it going? You had plans yesterday night, right? Like a date? Eva said something to me about that.

– She did? Isak laughs. Then he gets serious, because the thought of what happened makes his stomach turn. – Well, I think I fucked things up, to be honest. When I saw that Even was the guy, I kind of backed out. Ran away.

– No way, Jonas says, raising his eyebrows. – Why? Don’t you like him?

Isak feels so hot and embarrassed that he doesn’t know where to look. – Uh, yeah. I do. I like him a lot, actually. I just… It was too…

– Scary?

Isak nods.  _ Scary _ . That was it. The thought of meeting Even like that was fucking terrifying.

Jonas sighs. – Yeah, well, I know that feeling. So Even doesn’t know that he’s been chatting with you yet?

– No, I don’t think so, Isak says, slowly shaking his head. – Well, he might have guessed. But probably not. I’m sure he wouldn't have come with me to the hospital if he had.

– He came with you to the hospital? Jonas smiles.

– Yeah, we met at the tram last night… and although we’re not like best friends, he’s a good guy, so you know, he decided to come along.

Jonas nods. He looks slightly amused. – He seems cool, yeah. And he can’t exactly hate you when he followed you to the hospital. Right?

– I don’t know, Isak says. He really doesn’t. Even has been very distant and kind of cold lately. 

– But he followed you, although he knew nothing about who you are. Hmmm. Well, he’s soon going to know, right, because he’s going to deliver those Christmas presents to you?

– Right. The answer comes out like a sigh.

Jonas laughs, but it’s a warm, empathetic laughter. Suddenly he doesn’t look sick at all. – Oh, it really sounds like you have fucked things up a bit. But you could manage to fix it, you know. If you try.

– Do you think so?

– I really do. I’m sure he likes you. There’s been some heavy tension between you two in the shop, I have noticed that much. It must count for something, right?

Isak has to chuckle at that, although he thinks it’s not very likely that Jonas is right. He can’t imagine that it’s possible to fix anything at all. His best chance is to try to make Even not despise him, when he figures out who he is and that he has run away. He sighs.

– I hope you’re right, he says.

The conversation moves onto less serious topics. Isak stays with Jonas for a while that evening, and they play some video games and smoke some weed, and it feels like before they started to work together. They have a great time.

Still, Isak thinks a lot about Even, wondering how everything’s going to end. He can’t help it. Even has this way of popping up in his mind all the time.

When Isak’s about to leave, his phone pings. It’s from Even. Or, to be precise, it’s a message on the Christmas shopper app.  _ Oh fuck _ . Isak doesn't know why he suddenly feels so nervous, but his hands are trembling as he finds the message.

_ Hi, thanks for the texts and memes, but if you're not interested in something more, you can just let it be, and I’ll find another way to deliver the presents. Call me when you mean it.  _

Not interested? But he’s been sending memes and everything? Well, he’s maybe not been as determined as in the beginning, but… What’s going on? Isak’s heart beats so fast that he almost can’t text on his phone. 

_ What are you doing now? _

_ Can we talk? _

Isak is suddenly glad he knows where Even lives. He needs to talk to him. See him. But he should be sure that it’s okay to drop by. It takes Even forever to answer, though. Isak is almost halfway to Even’s place when the answer tics in:

_ Chilling at home. :) _

He actually is at home. And a smiley.  _ Oh fucking hell. _ This is happening. Isak’s doing this. He runs. He runs and runs and runs. When he finally reaches Even’s flat, he has almost no breath. When he rings the doorbell, he needs to lean into the wall, just to fight to get his breath back. 

After a moment, someone (hopefully Even) buzzes him in. 

As Isak climbs the steps up to the flat, he feels more and more nervous. He probably shouldn’t do this. He really shouldn’t. Even is going to get so pissed. What is he expecting? 

Isak knocks at the door. He waits for a beat, and then another, and then – 

Even opens the door and looks at him. He stares. – Halla, he whispers.

Isak stares back.  _ Fuck _ , Even’s beautiful. He’s dressed in some jeans and a t-shirt but he could have been dressed in anything. He looks like he sparkles, for fuck’s sake.

– Halla, Isak chokes out. 

And then he wonders where to start. He wants to kiss Even. He wants to run away and hide. But he knows that they should talk. He needs to get Even to  _ understand _ . 

He takes a step closer to him. – So, uhm, you might have guessed that I’m kind of the Isak from the Christmas shopper app, Isak says in the end. 

– Right, Even answers. He doesn’t look surprised at all.

Isak doesn’t know what to say or what to do. He can only stare. He’s dizzy and Even is standing there, looking gorgeous, with his swoopy hair and shining eyes. And he really doesn’t look surprised. Why isn’t he surprised? 

Even looks into Isak's eyes, almost like he’s searching for something. He looks a little guarded. And to be honest, he should be. Isak owes him a fucking great explanation. He knows that he definitely should not do anything stupid. Still, Isak just can't think about that right now. Even’s eyes are so beautiful, gazing into his own. 

Isak takes in the image of all of Even, his lips, neck and body.  _ God _ , he wants to kiss him. He wants to do a lot of things. Touch him and be touched. The want is too much.

But what if Even doesn’t want him to? Even could still be disappointed that Isak was the one he was flirting with. 

– Are you disappointed? Isak asks.

Even looks at him. – I knew, he says.

Isak stares at him. – What?

That’s when it happens. Even looks at him, and it’s like his face opens up, the expression in his eyes softens and his lips part. Even takes a step forward; grabs hold of Isak and attacks his lips with his own. Isak meets the kiss with an intensity that surprises him. Even lifts his hands to Isak’s neck, and his soft and hungry lips make Isak’s body sing. His senses are wide open, and he enjoys every breath, every touch and every heartbeat. Isak opens his lips, and kisses Even deeper.

Isak groans. – I do mean it, he sighs, into Even’s mouth. – I want… you. I have tried not to, but… I can’t help it, Even…

His words seem to make Even pause for a moment, and his eyes widen. Then Even moves closer, his lips against Isak’s cheek, brushing it lightly. And fuck, it feels good. That light touch sends shivers through Isak’s nerves, shivers that make his body tremble.

Even`s hands are on his face, his thumbs stroking his lips and his cheekbones. – I want you too, Even mutters. He brushes his mouth against the hollow of Isak’s temple. Then his fingers glide into Isak’s hair. Isak sighs, clings on to Even, holds on to his neck and hair, and kisses him. Even kisses Isak gently, carefully, but it isn’t gentleness Isak wants, not now, not after all this time, so he knots his fists in Even’s shirt, pulling him harder against him. Even groans softly, low in his throat, and then his arms circles Isak, gathering him close, and they are tangled together, still kissing.

Isak wishes that it will never end. But then.

– Isak… Even pulls back a little. His eyes are hazy. – We need to... talk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might have noticed, a lot is flipped in this fic. It's not intended to be a fix it fic or anything like that, I just felt like flipping. Hope it works! :D 
> 
> It might take a little while before the next an final chapter comes. Not too long, I hope, but a little while. I need to get my Skam Big Bang fic edited, and it's a BIG ONE. I hope you stay patient with me, because the end is going to be sweeeeeet.
> 
> Please leave me a comment if you feel like it!


	4. No rest for the wicked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even has given Isak an ultimatum (Hi, thanks for the texts and memes, but if you're not interested in something more, you can just let it be...) and Isak has run to him. In this chapter, they talk, and they do a little more than talking. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY the final chapter is here. I'm so sorry that this has dragged out. I have been doing a little too much at the same time, I'm afraid, and I had to take a break. :)
> 
> I'm very glad to be able to finally post this. It's been such an interesting learning process to write this. I have to admit there have been some challenges with this fic: It has been difficult to make the boys fit into a movie plot from 1940, for instance. I just couldn't let them be as mean to each other as in the movie. I also had to write Jonas less mean than the boss in the movie (believe it or not), because he became very OOC. To bring justice to Jonas’ as well as Ingrid’s and Sara’s actions has been very difficult. I struggled to bring justice to the story, as well. Furthermore, I couldn’t let Isak and Even lie to each other for as long as in the movie (in the movie, the Isak character keeps his secret for quite some time, and the Even character knows nothing). Of course, the boys lie about stuff in the original show, but not about something silly like this. It felt just wrong. That means that this fic differs quite a lot from the movie towards the end. I still hope it has been interesting to read. It has definitely been really interesting to write!
> 
> The most fun thing was to flip things around a little. Flipping is a theme. I might have overdone it a bit. Still was fun, though. :D
> 
> I'm so grateful that I have had help from my beta readers. If it weren't for them, this thing might have ended in misery... ugh. They have been such an amazing gang of helpers. THANK you so much! <3
> 
> Thank you [@coolauntskam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolauntskam/profile), [@twoenns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoenns/pseuds/twoenns), [@evakuality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakuality/pseuds/evakuality) and [@arindwell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arindwell/pseuds/arindwell)! 
> 
> If you read this, I hope you like it - please let me know if you do. Actually, I think I REALLY need a little feedback on this one - good or bad. :)
> 
> Ha en god fredag!

– Isak… Even pulls back from Isak a little. His eyes are hazy. – We need to... talk.

He sounds breathless. Isak feels like he’s out of breath, too. They are standing in the doorway to Even’s place, holding each other, staring into each other’s eyes, and breathing. And yeah, they really should talk. Isak knows that. He just wants to kiss Even some more. Feel his warm body some more. It’s like an undeniable need in his bones and muscles. 

_ Even _ . Isak can’t quite grasp how this guy has just popped up in his life, with his blue eyes, laughter, enthusiasm and love for snowglobes and cheesy pop music, and he has changed  _ everything _ . Isak used to have his normal, boring life, that he knew and mostly liked. However, Even has made Isak’s life sort of tip over, has made Isak lose his balance and lose all his chill, and now… 

Now Isak just wants to kiss him. 

However, the not talking thing has really gotten them into some trouble in the past. Isak knows that. And there are so many unanswered questions between them. So much confusion. They need to fix that. He draws a deep breath and untangles himself from Even. Stares into his blue eyes. – Okay. So we should talk.

Even nods. – Right, he says, and watches Isak’s face intensely. Isak can’t quite read his expression, but there’s something almost vulnerable about Even in that moment, and it makes Isak mushy inside. 

_Come on, focus._ _Talk, he said._ Although Isak knows it’s true, he seems to be unable to concentrate on anything. The only thing he sees is how Even bites his lip. How his eyes keep holding Isak’s gaze.

– So, uh… what should we talk about? Isak asks.

Even swallows. Isak notices a faint blush spread along Even’s cheeks all the way to his ears. – Well. Eva said we’re crap at talking, and she’s probably right. So. I think we should… ask each other about stuff we wonder about and… answer. 

Even has talked to Eva.  _ Wow _ . Isak shifts his weight from one foot to the other, and nods. And now he remembers. He was about to say that he was sorry.  _ That was it.  _ His heart beats fast as he clears his throat. – I know I have a lot to explain, so… Can’t you just ask me something? 

– Okay, Even says. – So. Uhm. First, come inside. 

Even steps back and Isak follows him into the hallway and shuts the door behind him. They stand there next to the winter coats and shoes. There’s a movie poster on the wall and some photos of Even and some friends in black and white. Even doesn't walk him any further into the flat, but Isak is fine with that.. He has this feeling that he has something to prove first, maybe. Or maybe Even will send him home once they’ve talked?

_ Fuck _ , now he’s suddenly nervous.

– So. I know that you saw me in the restaurant, Even starts. His blush gets darker as he talks. – Why did you just leave?

Isak can’t really wrap his head around the fact that Even knows, that he has known for some time now. It hurts to think about what Even must have thought when Isak just left him at the restaurant. Isak takes a deep breath. – I'm sorry that I was such an ass, Even. I’m just… sorry.

– Okay, Even says and shuts his eyes for a moment, like he tries to shut something out. When he opens his eyes again, he meets Isak’s gaze. – So, tell me. What happened?

Isak leans back onto the wall. He doesn’t know where to look or what to say.  _ I thought you wouldn’t want me,  _ he thinks. He can’t say that. – I don’t really know. I saw you and… I kinda panicked. 

Even looks miserable. – I thought... It felt like you just didn’t like me.

– Oh fuck, Isak blurts out, feeling sick. The thought that Even believed that Isak didn’t like him is so  _ wrong _ , it makes his stomach churn. – No! 

There’s a new light in Even’s eyes. – But why? His voice is small. – Had I done something? 

Isak shivers. He knows he can’t hold back anymore. – No, you didn’t do anything, he says. He still hesitates for a moment, while he drags his hand through his hair. He knows he has to just say it, but it doesn’t make it easy. – I think… I kinda liked you, Even. A lot. And I never suspected that my Christmas shopper was someone I actually knew, and liked. So I kinda freaked out, I guess. I hadn’t even told anyone that I like boys. Well, I had told Eva that day, but nobody else knew. And. I was afraid that you wouldn’t want me back. 

Even stares at him in wonder. – Oh.

Isak knows it’s sort of a shitty and confusing reason, but it’s the only reason he’s got. He releases his breath in a sigh. – I'm so sorry, he says.

– It’s... okay. I mean, it’s not, but I know all about running away, Even says and huffs a laugh that isn’t really a laugh. His eyes roams Isak’s face. – You’re here now and… That’s good.

– Okay, Isak breathes, as he fights the growing hope inside. He knows it’s too early, but it still flutters like a butterfly in his chest.

Even sighs, and stretches out his hand so he leans against the wall. – I guess I should have told you that I knew, too. Uhm. Do you want to ask me about something?

Isak squirms. His thoughts are all over the place as he looks into Even’s eyes. He notices, like a side note, that they are much closer in height than Isak had estimated before. Isak is either standing up straighter or his self esteem is greater, possibly a combination of both. Even’s eyes are so blue, and so sincere, and Isak can only think of one thing to ask.

– Yeah, uh… I just wonder… How long did you know? That it was me? On the Christmas shopper app?

Even shrugs, and smiles a little. – I think I was suspicious for a little while, but then I saw you at work, texting me on the app. And you laughed after one of my jokes, and it just couldn’t be a coincidence. And when you mentioned your friends afterwards, I recognized their names. Then I knew for sure.

Even holds his gaze.  _ Fuck _ , those blue eyes…

Isak swallows. He remembers that quite vividly. It was the same day that everything else happened. – Was that before…

– Yeah, it was the same day we had that date, Even nods. – Before we argued and… kissed in the storage room, actually.

Isak blushes. –  _ Whoa,  _ he mouths. It blows his mind, thinking that Even knew who he was when they kissed. It’s difficult to process. And it makes him think about how closed off Even has seemed lately... 

– I’m wondering about one more thing, Isak says, as his heart beats hard in his chest. – You’ve been kinda… distant since we visited Jonas in the hospital and… was it all because I stood you up, or? Was it something else?

Even gives him a long look. There’s something guarded about his expression. – Why? he asks, and it’s only a whisper.

Isak feels hot in his face. – I just wondered if I had done something stupid, or… I mean, it kinda seemed like we connected a little then, and we talked about stuff, but... maybe you lost interest or something?

He hates how his voice sounds so insecure, but he supposes it reflects how he feels. He really doesn’t get why Even has been so distant lately.

Even’s eyes are wide. He drops his hand that was resting against the wall and takes a step closer to Isak. – No! I guess that... when we walked back from the hospital, and I asked you, you said that you thought I probably wasn’t the one. So I guess I decided to just let it be then.

_ No no no _ … Isak straightens up and shakes his head. – What the fuck? I said that  _ the person I chatted with  _ probably wasn’t the one. 

– Well, Even says and raises his eyebrows, –  that was  _ me _ , wasn’t it?

Isak blushes, as he struggles to find the right words. – Yeah, but… That was… I just wanted to know the  _ real _ you. Not a fantasy in an app. 

– Oh, Even says, a little deflated. He’s blushing, too, now. – I just… I was so confused, he says, and throws out his arms to illustrate it. – In one moment you ran away from me after we kissed. Then you left me at the restaurant and then you told me I wasn’t the one. In the next moment you sent me a Gabrielle record and flirted on the app. I just couldn’t understand what you wanted. 

Isak stares at him, as he realizes that it must have been really confusing. – Oh, he sighs, and licks his lips. There’s a silent moment between them as their eyes meet. Something twinkles in Even’s eyes, something that makes Isak’s face heat up. His eyes are drawn to Even’s lips. They pout slightly, and Isak has such an urge to kiss them, and bite them, that he needs to take a deep breath. 

_ Focus. Talk. _

– Oh fuck, he says. – And I just thought you stayed away because you had had enough of me.

Even just shakes his head. 

– I’m glad you sent me that text tonight, though, Isak says. – Telling me to let you be if I didn’t mean it for real. You gave me a kick in the ass, basically.

Even laughs, and looks a little embarrassed. – Hah, to be honest it was the boys who pushed me to do it. The guys that were in the shop, you know? Elias, Mikael and the others you sent the record with?

– Hah, cool, Isak smiles weakly.  _ Another secret.  _ How did they end up with so many secrets? 

– Yeah. About that. I should probably tell you something, he adds and blushes. 

– Yeah?

– Yeah, Isak nods, determined to finally tell it all. – I kinda know Elias, you see. Well, I know Sana, anyway. We used to be in the same class at Nissen, and now we’re just… good buds.

Even stares at him. – My Sana is your Sana? The one you wanted to buy a not so Christmassy gift for?

Isak nods and smiles. – Yup. 

A smile slowly grows on Even’s face. – Wow. What are the odds? How weird that I never met you at their house, though. But yeah. That explains why she asked about who you were and why you sent me that record! But why didn’t you just tell me?

– Well, Isak shrugs, feeling more than a little embarrassed, – I was afraid that you would figure out who I was. 

Even leans back, looking a little amused. – Hah. When I knew already.

– Yeah, it’s so stupid, Isak sighs. – We’re  _ really  _ not good at talking, are we?

– Nah. We’re not.

Even’s lips are pursed into a little smile, and his eyes are glittering. Both of them chuckle a little, and then they lock eyes. And in that moment it’s like something bursts between them. All the questions and the tension melts away. All Isak can see is the careful hope in Even’s blue eyes, and the softness in his smile. Isak feels like all his questions are out in the open, and it’s kind of  liberating. And he’s hopeful, too. He’s scared, but so ready to take this leap with Even. And all he wants is to touch, and feel and kiss. His mind is spinning while his body’s yearning to feel Even closer. He just doesn’t know how to get there.

_ Where do we go from here?  _ he wonders. 

The silence between them is thick with the feelings they’ve almost, but not quite shared. Even lifts his hand, and strokes a lock of Isak’s hair away from his forehead. He rests his hand on Isak’s neck, while his eyes are fixed on Isak’s lips.  _ Oh _ . Isak shivers. The look is almost as tangible as a touch. They stare at each other. 

Isak rests his hands on Even’s chest. His heart is beating quickly now. He knows what he wants so desperately, but it’s like he can’t move. Like he shouldn’t. It should be Even’s move. 

Even still stares at Isak’s lips, and now he lets his other hand reach Isak’s neck, too. Isak shivers. The need to feel Even’s lips is desperate. Isak leans closer, and looks at Even with something he hopes is a careful question in his eyes. – Can we kiss? 

Even smiles so wide it almost breaks Isak into a thousand pieces. – Yeah… Even whispers and pulls Isak closer. 

_ Oh God, yes please _ . Isak takes a shaking breath and seeks Even’s lips with his own. Even hesitates for a brief moment before he moans softly and meets Isak’s lips. This time, the kiss is chaste, and careful, like they are afraid to break something. The heat and tension between them still makes Isak long for more.  _ More, more, more _ . Isak’s hands glide up Even’s chest and around his neck.

– I never thought this could happen, Even murmurs against his lips. – You did hate me quite a bit at the start, didn’t you?

Even`s lips are so soft, and Isak sighs into them. – Not really, he mutters. The scent of Even’s skin is dizzying. – You annoyed me a little. But that was mostly because I wanted you. You were so fucking hot. And adorable. And sweet.

That’s no lie. Even is still hot, and adorable, and so, so sweet. Even has Isak’s entire body tingling just from the way his tongue caresses and strokes his. 

Even chuckles a little into Isak’s mouth, but also pulls Isak closer. He lets his lips trail down Isak’s neck. – God, you’re hot, sweet and adorable, too, Isak. 

Even’s voice vibrates at Isak’s neck. Isak moans and tugs at his shirt. – Hot and cute like a puppy? he chuckles, suddenly remembering their silly texting conversation about Even being like a puppy. 

– Dogs can’t be hot, Isak, Even laughs into his neck.

Isak leans back to meet his eyes. – What? You didn’t correct me the last time I said it!

– I was trying to flirt with you, goddammit! And no… you’re not a puppy. 

– No? Isak sighs, as Even nuzzles his nose and leaves small kisses on his lips, jaw and neck.

– No, you’re maybe like a cat, Even smiles, before he lets his lips play with Isak’s earlobe, – that’s proud, wild at heart and cozy when it wants to be. 

Isak shivers because of his deep voice and the warm breath washing over his ear.

– Fuck, Isak... I want you so much, Even sighs.

His words make Isak dizzy. – I want you, too, he mutters, staring into his lovely blue eyes. He lets his fingers tangle into Even’s soft hair. – You're such an amazing guy. How are you single?

_ O hell, what a cliche.  _ He doesn’t care. He really wonders about it.

Even looks a little uncomfortable, like he’s embarrassed. – My first girlfriend and I grew apart. And after that I’ve never been serious about anything, really. I guess I thought I needed to live a little.

– Well I haven’t really been serious with anyone either, Isak replies. – But I guess that’s obvious, since I told nobody that I am gay.

Even leans back a little, and cups Isak’s face, smiling with crinkling eyes. – Nothing’s obvious, he whispers, kissing Isak on the edge on his mouth, on his eyebrow, and his cheek. Showering Isak with soft kisses. – Relationships are tricky, though… It took me a while to figure out if I wanted more than to just…  fuck around.

Isak keeps touching Even’s hair with his fingers. – So do you? he asks, as he searches in Even’s eyes for the answer. – Want more, I mean. Are you ready to move on?

He knows his question is transparent. He doesn’t really care; it’s too late to turn back now, anyway.

Even stares into his eyes. – I think so, he replies, chewing on his bottom lip. – With the right person.

Isak wants so badly to be that person for Even. He doesn’t know how to say that out loud, though. Instead, he leans into Even and kisses him again. Isak tries to convey all the tenderness and affection that he feels for him in that kiss but Even’s kisses are so unbelievably sensual that it morphs into scorching sexual fire.

– What about you? Even asks, between the kisses. 

– Uhm, think so too, Isak mutters, oh so eloquently. It’s like his brain doesn’t work. He’s dizzy and love drunk and it feels as though his heart is dancing around his chest. He feels so light, like he’s on top of the world yet his heart is constricting and it feels as if there’s no oxygen in his lungs. Everything is about Even, about his eyes, lips, tongue and hands. 

Even holds him and nuzzles his nose and cheek, and Isak can feel the heat from Even’s body against his own. Isak is overwhelmed by a sweet and intense mix of tenderness and lust.  _ Is this really happening? Are we doing this? _

He doesn’t know if Even sees the question in his eyes, but it’s like he answers when he kisses Isak deeper and pulls him closer so there’s no space left between them. Isak can feel not just Even’s body heat, but also his heartbeat and his hard dick pressing against his thighs. _ Oh fuck.  _ Isak’s own dick is painfully hard already.  _ Fuck, yeah, we’re doing this. _

Even’s mouth is so warm, the caress of his lips and tongue hotter than Isak could have imagined and he opens his mouth with a low moan.  Heat rushes through Isak and suddenly he can't wait to find out how Even’s lips will feel around his cock. He doesn't want to wait either. He’s frantic to get Even’s mouth on him, and even more so, to taste him. Isak wants to give and take and  _ share _ . 

Isak breaks off from the kiss, moving his mouth down to Even’s neck. Even is panting and grasping at Isak’s upper arms. – Fuck  _ me _ , he gasps when Isak discovers a sensitive spot on his throat. 

– You mean that? Isak murmurs against his skin, half as a joke, half serious. Even smells amazing, clean heat and something musky. Isak is anxious to get his face down to where Even’s musk will be strongest. – Wanna taste you first though.

– Uhm yes. Just… Not here, Even groans. – Bed. Please.

And  _ yes, please. _ The bed sounds right. Isak reluctantly peels himself off of Even. Even offers him a hand. Isak is lightheaded and dizzy and it takes him a second to focus before he grabs Even’s hand and lets Even pull him stumbling along to his bedroom. They stop to kiss every other step, and Isak can’t hold back a giggle when Even bumps his elbow against the door frame.

Once they’re inside Even’s room, Isak registers that it’s cozy and has kind of a hipster vibe, but he doesn’t have time to look around. He’s too busy taking his clothes off. He drops his hand from Even’s grip and sits on the edge of the bed to take off his socks and jeans. Then he looks up from his task to see Even standing there, chewing on his bottom lip. 

– What? Are you nervous? Isak asks, yanking off one sock and starting on the other. Then he stops in his movements, hesitating. – Is this okay, or? If you’re not ready, then we don’t have to do anything. 

Even chuckles then, and his eyes shine. – I’m ready. 

Isak knows he can’t quite hide how happy that makes him. – Yeah?

– You’re just very efficient right now, Even says. – Are  _ you  _ okay?

Isak’s breath hitches, and he realizes that he’s pretty nervous, too. He blushes. – Yeah, uhm. It’s just… I really want this. 

– Me too, Even says then, holding his gaze, as he takes his own t-shirt off. Something teasing shows up in his eyes. – One thing, Isak… Do you bottom or top? 

Isak feels the heat in his cheeks, and he suddenly forgets to be nervous at all. He huffs a short laugh. – I’m pretty sure I'm versatile, he smiles. – I'll be anything you want me to be. 

– I think I want to fuck you, Even states, as he unzips his jeans and drops them to the floor. He looks at Isak with dark eyes. 

_ Oh. Oh damn. _ A full body shiver goes through Isak. He pulls off his own pants and sets them on the floor next to Even’s hastily cast-off clothing. He likes the thought of Even taking charge of him. – I'd like that, he whispers. 

Even rewards Isak with a lopsided grin. – Yeah? 

Isak pulls off his t-shirt and nods. – I like... uhm receiving, I think. I just haven’t done it much so I'm gonna need some prep.

Well, that’s kind of an understatement; Isak really hasn’t done much more than making out at parties before, but who cares. 

Even arches his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, but looks kinda nervous at the same time. – Okay. I can do that, he says. – But, uh, are you more used to… topping, then? he asks. 

Isak shakes his head. – Nah, I’m just not that experienced at all, to be honest, he says. 

– Me neither, Even sighs. He stands there in just his boxers and he looks kind of lanky and hot at the same time, and his dick is quite obviously tenting in his boxers, and Isak wants him so badly. 

– I still want to try, though, Isak says then. – I just... really wanna taste you first. 

He doesn’t have a clue why he’s suddenly talking so much. But it feels important that Even knows this. – And I'm dying to feel your mouth on me.

Isak slides his boxer briefs down his hips, and steps out of them. 

Even’s mouth drops open. – Uhm, okay, he says, and his eyes slowly scan over Isak’s naked body. The want in his eyes makes Isak shiver. Even pushes down his boxers and lets them fall to the floor. He steps out of them, more or less gracefully, but  _ fuck, he looks beautiful, _ and then he closes the distance between them, plastering his body to Isak’s. And, oh, fuck. They’re chest to chest and skin to skin and it’s warm and sweet and almost too much. 

Even slips his hand between their bellies and encircles Isak’s length, starting to stroke him. Isak shivers, but he wants to make Even feel good, too, so he places another soft kiss on Even’s lips before he slides down Even’s body. Even takes a sharp intake of breath when Isak rests his lips on Even’s cockhead. Isak looks up at him. Even is looking down at Isak and his gaze locks with his. His eyes are wide and his lips are parted and he looks slightly dizzy.  _ Fuck, he’s gorgeous. _

– Breathe, Even, Isak urges, with a small smile.

Even lets out the breath he’s holding, giving a quiet laugh. Isak smiles at him and snakes his tongue out to give him a gentle lick. 

Even’s breath hitches. – Stop teasing me, Isak, Even sighs, – Please.

Isak can feel the heat and moisture leaking from Even’s swollen cock onto his lips, and he wonders how it can make him feel so gone. The scent of Even alone is making him dazed with need. He inhales deeply and takes Even into his mouth. Even’s strangled moan fills Isak’s ears at the same time that the feel and taste of Even floods his mouth. 

The hotness of it all causes Isak’s dick to throb and a moan spill out of his mouth.

Even is panting and shuddering while Isak works him with his mouth. Isak kind of loves the taste of his precum on his tongue. – Oh fuck yes, Even says in a strained voice as Isak sucks harder and takes Even deeper. Even’s dick feels perfect in his mouth and he moans again at the thought that he’s going to be feeling it sliding deep into his ass soon.

Isak is enjoying himself a lot and is almost disappointed when Even taps him on the shoulder to make him stop.

– Please, Even says in a breathy voice. – I wanna play too.

And God, the playful look in his eyes and his smile makes Isak’s chest ache at the same time as the lust rushes through him. Isak hollows out his cheeks and slides Even’s dick out of his mouth with a soft pop. – Bed? he asks.

Even nods and holds his hand out to help Isak up. Then they stumble to bed, kissing and giggling. They get on the bed and Even immediately straddles Isak thighs. Isak can’t take his eyes off him. Even looks astounding on his knees over Isak like that. He’s lean and pale skinned, and his eyes are shining and his hair is a mess, and Isak is mesmerized by the sight. 

Even wraps his fingers around the base of Isak’s dick with the perfect amount of pressure and slowly strokes up, causing Isak to sigh. Even’s glance shifts up to his face. – You’re so beautiful, he mutters, and makes Isak tremble. He can’t believe that this is happening, that they’re finally able to be so close, after all.

– Come here, Isak whispers, holding out his arms. He needs to feel Even closer. Even lays his upper body down on top of Isak’s with his head on his shoulder. Isak tilts his head up and kisses him softly. He means for it just to be a tender kiss but they’re both too far gone, and it quickly escalates into a passionate melding of mouths and tongues. Their hands are all over each other, but then Even moves his mouth down Isak’s body, hitting all his pleasure points along the way. Even has Isak panting and writhing from all the attention. Isak really wants to bury his nose in Even’s neck. He wants to suck on Even’s nipples and tongue fuck his navel. Isak never gets a chance. He forgets all of that when Even’s gorgeous, soft lips wrap around his cock.  _ His mouth! Fuck! _ It takes every ounce of willpower to hold back from coming the second his cock slides into Even’s warm, wet mouth. Thankfully, it doesn't take long for Even to flip into a sixty-nine position, but his mouth and tongue are producing such glorious sensations that Isak can't even concentrate on the job he’s trying to perform.

– Oh fuck, Even, Isak groans after just a few moments, as he feels the edge of the orgasm as electricity rushing through his body. – You've gotta stop. You're gonna make me come...

Isak’s desperate plea and the fact that he’s stopped sucking on Even doesn't deter him in the slightest. – That wouldn’t be so bad, would it? Even slurs around his dick.

– Ugh, no, please, yes, yes, please… Isak groans. Even’s going to take Isak over the edge.   He knows it, Isak knows it, so Isak quits holding back. Isak’s body seizes and jerks as liquid fire burns a path down his spine, up his length, and into Even’s wicked mouth. The intensity of Isak’s orgasm steals all the oxygen from him and leaves him gasping and heaving for a breath.

Even continues to suck on Isak while his breathing returns to normal. The sheen of sweat already coating both of their bodies makes for a slick slide of his body across Isak’s, and then he moves around so they face each other again. 

– There you are, Even mutters into Isak’s lips. The sweetness in his eyes is kinda overwhelming. – Gotta see your face. 

Isak’s hands glide down Even’s body, and he finds Even’s straining dick. – Let me... Isak breathes, eagerly.

– Please, yeah, Even mutters, and gives Isak a full body shiver with the want in his voice. He leans his forehead against Isak’s.

Desire spikes up Isak’s spine at the look of lust and care in Even’s eyes, and the small sounds of pleasure he makes. Isak strokes Even’s dick and Even meets his movements as they kiss deeply. Even is so hard and slick in Isak’s hand and Isak can’t believe how hot it makes him feel. Even’s deep, rumbly moans, telling Isak that he’s pleasing him, thrills him to the core. And Even’s lips… and tongue… and hands in his hair… For a moment Isak wonders if Even would prefer that he sucked him off, but then he realizes that he wants this too much, it’s maybe egoistic, but he wants to feel Even close and see the emotions in his eyes.  _ Fuck _ , he could drown in those eyes. Even thrusts into his hand and sighs into his neck, and even after such a breathtaking orgasm, Isak is so turned on by the feeling of Even close to him and what he’s doing to Even that his cock fills so rapidly that it aches.

Isak moans in want and bliss into Even’s mouth. Even’s steady thrusts into Isak’s hand soon lose their rhythm, and he starts to whimper into Isak’s neck. His body jerks and when Isak intensifies his strokes, Even moans out as his body shudders and his cock pulses into Isak’s hand and all over his stomach.  _ Fuck it’s hot! _

Isak catches Even’s mouth in a sloppy, breathy kiss. Even doesn’t go soft immediately so Isak continues to carefully milk his cockhead. Even pants heavily over him, trying to catch his breath. Then he glances down notices Isak’s hard dick. He chuckles between his breaths. – Oh… you’re ready for more, aren’t you, Isak?

Isak lets go of Even’s dick and kisses Even softly. – Mm… yeah, he grins. 

Even kisses him back and drops down beside him on the bed. His laugh is breathy and light. – Why am I suddenly imagining that I’ll make you come again, and then I’ll get hard from getting you off, and then you’ll help me out, and you’ll get hard again, and we’ll be going on and on all night?

– Fuck, we probably will, Isak laughs. Right now, the thought is pretty tempting though. He just wants Even so badly again. 

– Well, I can live with that, Even hums. He pulls Isak closer and kisses him again. His kisses are slow, but deep, and very sensual. His hands stroke over Isak’s back and butt, pulling him closer again. Soon Isak is burning with want. 

He licks his lips nervously. – Uhm… You wanted to… uh… fuck me? Do you have condoms? Lube?

– Umm, yeah, Even answers. Isak can see the lust and playfulness returning to his eyes. – Only if you want to, though.

– Yeah, Isak says quickly. – Yeah I wanna. 

– Okay, Even says and smiles a shaky smile. He reaches for the bedside table and finds the items Isak requested. – I’ll get you ready, baby.

_ Baby.  _ Oh my god. Isak doesn’t really know how to do this, but his instinct is to roll over on his belly. 

– You want it like this? Even asks, as he crawls on top of Isak, straddling his thighs from behind. 

– Yeah, I do, Isak smiles into the pillow. 

– Fuck, you’re beautiful, Even mutters, stroking his hand down Isak’s spine. He lets his fingers trail down his back then bends over and kisses Isak’s spine right between his shoulder blades. – You are so fucking sexy, he murmurs against Isak’s back. 

– My back gets you hot? Isak jokes, his voice muffled by the bedding. 

– Everything about you gets me hot, Isak, Even answers. He kisses and licks a blazing trail down Isak’s spine. The scruff on his chin setting all Isak’s nerve endings alight. Even licks the base of his spine. – You taste so good.

His breath huffs across Isak’s hole as he parts his cheeks with his hands. 

And Isak blushes and panics for a moment, thinking  _ oh my god am I clean enough?  _ But then he realizes that he’s too horny to really care, and decides that Even will have to decide. Isak doesn’t care. He only cares about the sensations. Even swipes his tongue over Isak’s entrance and _ oh fuc _ k, Isak’s hips come off the bed involuntarily. – Oh fuck, he mutters into the bed. – More!

Even lets out a throaty chuckle and Isak’s entrance twitches at the caress of his warm breath. Even gives Isak several more teasing licks before he wrenches Isak’s hips higher and gets down to the business of orally pleasuring him.  _ Holy Fuck _ . Isak shivers and slurs nonsense into the pillow. The things that Even is doing to him are making him see stars. White lights are flashing on the back of his closed eyelids and his head is swimming from pure lust and pleasure. Isak never wants Even to stop eating him out. That is, until he slips a finger inside of him, and he feels the slow slide inside. Then Isak just wants Even to fuck him raw. He can’t say anything, though, he just moans and meets Even’s fingers.    
  
– You're so tight, Isak, Even murmurs into his back. – And so beautiful, fuck...

Even has two fingers in him now, and Isak can feel them gliding in and out, massaging his channel, and rubbing the spot that must be his prostate. Isak is gasping and clawing at the bedding below him. He wants to respond but he’s beyond coherent speech. 

Even keeps moving his fingers inside of him. There’s something careful about his moves. – Are you still sure that you want to do this?

Isak pushes his upper body up with his hands and presses back against Even’s questing digits, moaning loudly. He tries to string some words together. – Yeah. Fuck me, Even, he croaks out. It isn't exactly verbose, but it’s the best he can do at the moment.    
  
Even hesitates. – I don't want to hurt you.

Isak growls and bumps back into him harder. – Now. 

Even chuckles softly. Isak’s impatience seems to amuse him.  _ Wonderful _ . 

– Please, Even, Isak begs. – I need you.

Even groans, and Isak realizes that Even’s pretty far gone, too. Even’s fingers halt all movement for a moment. Isak is terrified that Even is going to refuse and leave Isak high and dry with this desperate need. Then Even withdraws his fingers and Isak hears the tearing of the foil packet. Isak doesn't think it’s possible but his desire spikes even higher at the unmistakable sound. The few seconds that it takes for Even to prep himself seem like an eternity.    
  
Even slowly eases his way into Isak and Isak drops his head down on the bed. It stings a little, but Isak just huffs through the pain and forces himself to relax.    
  
– Faen, you feel so good, Even mutters. His voice is strained and his hands on Isak’s hips are shivering. – If you weren't so fucking tight, I'd be pounding the ever-loving fuck out of you right now.

– Do it, baby, please, Isak grinds out through his teeth. His dick is throbbing and he wants this so much that he hardly can think. – I can take it.

– No, you can't, baby, Even says softly. The obvious affection in his voice washes over Isak like a balm. Even flattens his palm out on Isak’s back and gently rubs him in soothing circles. – Relax, Isak. You need to. And… uh, I need a little time, too, and I wanna… wanna make you feel good...   
  
Isak knows he should take Even’s advice. For both their sakes. Isak is known for his patience and calm demeanor in a crisis (sort of), but Even is tripping all of his triggers and making him desperate and wild with lust. He has never felt anything like this before. Even probably knows what he’s doing but Isak is needy and anxious. He tries to rock back into Even to force him to fuck him or, at the very least, to fuck himself on Even’s cock. Even gasps as he grips his hips and holds him still. – Wait… he says in an almost begging voice. – Please. I don’t want this to be over too soon either.

_ Oh. Okay. _ Isak stops, and they wait, as their breaths are the only sound in the room. Isak focuses on the feeling of Even’s dick inside, and the thighs against his. Even’s hands on his back and hips.    
  
When Isak feels more than ready, when his legs shake in anticipation, Even begins short, gentle thrusts that slowly lengthen until he’s gliding in and out of Isak in long strokes.  _ And, oh, fuck… _ It feels so fucking good. Isak can feel each and every inch as Even burrows inside of him, stretching him, filling him in the steady rhythm of a heartbeat. 

– Is this okay, baby? Even asks in a shaky voice.

– Uhm, yeah, please, deeper, baby, Isak mutters, as he let his upper body fall down on the bed.  

Even straddles his hips from behind then, and pushes his full length slowly into Isak. The very first push hits Isak’s prostate and Isak moans out his pleasure. – Fucking Hell, yeah!    
  
– Yeah, Isak, Even croons. – I wanna hear you… moan for me.

Isak does. They both do as their bodies move quicker. Their moans and groans are easily loud enough to mask the crude slap of skin on skin and the sloppy wet squelch of Even’s dick pushing into Isak. 

The sounds coming out of Isak are primal and wild. Isak doesn't even recognize himself. Isak is so drunk on pleasure, his body is wracked with it, convulsing and quivering like never before. Every molecule in his body is alive with sensation as Even drills into Isak’s sweet spot, over and over. Wave after wave of ecstasy crashes over Isak as Even plunders and pounds into him. By the time Isak slips his hand under his stomach and takes ahold of his leaking, achy dick, he barely has time to get his fingers around it before he explodes, groaning as he shatters into millions of pieces. 

Even trips immediately after Isak. He groans one long, drawn out, – Fuuuuuck! Then he collapses on top of Isak, his chest flush with Isak’s back.    
  
They lie there for some time, desperately trying to reconnect with reality. Even could lie on top of Isak forever. Isak doesn't care. Isak loves having Even’s weight on him, feeling him crush him into the mattress. Isak keens softly when Even raises himself up and slowly pulls out. Isak hears how Even ties up the condom and throws it away, but Isak’s too tired to move. Well, he can’t, either. Even is still on top of him. 

– Are you okay? Even’s breathy whisper huffs across Isak’s ear.    
  
– No, Isak replies, just as quietly. – Pretty sure that I died because, fuck this was too good.    
  
Even’s chuckle is broken from the lack of being able to draw a complete breath. – Fuck yeah it was.    
  
He kisses Isak gently on the back of his shoulder. Isak turns his head to watch Even climb off him and slide down next to him.

They look at each other for a moment. –  Will you stay the night? Even asks. He looks almost nervous, and that’s a weird thought.

Isak stares at him with his heart pounding in his chest.  –  Do you want me to? 

–  Yeah, Even smiles.  –  I'd really like that. 

Isak grins, probably a pretty quirky grin. Even smiles back. Then he pushes a lock of Isak’s hair out of his eyes. 

Isak scoots closer on the bed as he looks out the window. It’s still dark, but he knows it’s only a few hours until morning.  –  The night is almost over, he says. 

Even shakes his head and shifts his body enough to both get under the covers and to give Isak room.  –  It's not morning until we wake up. 

Isak slips under the duvet. Even rolls onto his side facing away from Isak, and scoots backwards until his back rests against Isak’s chest, taking the place of the little spoon. 

Isak reaches behind him and turns off the lamp on the nightstand. Then he snuggles Even's body into his and kisses the shell of his ear.  –  Goodnight, Even. 

They fall asleep tangled up with each other, and Isak dreams about flying. 

Isak wakes up the next day feeling content and well rested, for the first time in a long while. Even is warm next to him, curled up into his arms. Isak pulls him even closer, and enjoys the  feeling of him, the warmth and the scent.

He watches Even carefully. Even looks so relaxed and innocent in his sleep. His soft hair is a mess, but his eyelashes are adorable and his lips plush and tempting. Isak can't quite believe that he’s here, next to Even, in Even’s bed.

What does this mean? They have said that they like each other. Does that mean that they’re meant to be? Or is this just something temporary?

Fuck, Isak hopes it’s so much more. He’s nervous, but still hopeful. He allows himself to watch Even for a moment. And he allows himself to let his feelings rush through him as he tucks the duvet carefully around Even.

His nerves make him restless, and he gets out of bed early. He decides to make Even some breakfast, so he finds a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt to put on and heads for the kitchen. It’s going to be a nice surprise. He’s maybe no gourmet chef, but he knows that he makes some mean sandwiches. 

The kitchen is cozy, although slightly messy. Even seems to leave teacups everywhere, even on the windowsill. Isak quickly finds what he needs though. He finds bread and all kinds of good stuff that they can eat. He’s just making the coffee when he notices Even looking in from the door opening. 

– Uh... Hi. You’re here, Even mutters. His eyes are fixed on Isak.

Isak puts the knife down, confused by Even’s tension. – Good morning! Where else would I be? 

Even blinks, as he enters the room.  He is dressed in some soft sweatpants and a t-shirt. He looks soft, and sleepy, and Isak just wants to... touch him and kiss him.

– Well. I thought you had left, Even says. 

_ Oh fuck. _ A warm feeling rushes through Isak, and he is quick to go over to Even, and give him a kiss. – No, I’m just making some breakfast, baby. We need some food before work.

Even’s lips are soft, and he smells of sleep and warm skin. Isak feels dazed as he gives Even a smile.

Even looks a little confused and dazed as well. – But…  Why are you up already? It’s early?

Isak grins, and pulls him even closer. –  No rest for the wicked, you know.

Even smiles then, and it looks like his shoulders lose their tension. He leans his forehead to Isak’s. Then he nuzzles his nose.  – I guess not. So, where’s the food?

– Coming up, Isak smirks, and continues to prepare their sandwiches, feeding Even a slice of toast before another kiss.

They end up eating by the counter, feeding each other between kisses. Isak wants them to sit down, but they just never seem to be able to untangle themselves from each other. And then Even drags Isak back to the bedroom. And, well, Isak decides they have just the time for a quickie before work. Well, he doesn’t  _ decide  _ anything, to be honest. His body screams at him that he needs to do this,  _ or else _ . And Even seems to agree with his body. His eyes are dark and his hands are demanding. In fact, there’s something frantic in the way they both stumble into the bedroom, kissing and groping each other. They groan when they both hit the bed and chuckle a little, before they kiss some more. Isak clings to Even’s warm body, not minding that he almost grinds his hard dick against him. Then Even is all business, pulling down Isak’s (technically Even’s) sweatpants and releasing his dick. And fuck, the hungry look he gives Isak almost makes Isak fall apart.

He can’t believe that he’s allowed to have this. Again. Even wouldn’t have done this if it was just something temporary, would he? That thought alone gives Isak a new desperation, and his hands on Even are asking, begging, demanding.

Leaning forward, Even licks slowly over the head of Isak’s leaking dick and Isak gives a low groan of want. He tangles his fingers into Even’s hair as Even begins to slide Isak inside his mouth. When he looks up and meets Isak’s gaze, Isak feels like he’s falling. The way Even’s tongue works around his shaft sends shivers running down his spine. Then Even starts sucking.

It takes no time at all to have Isak squirming and writhing, his heart pounding in his chest and his breath catching as Even sucks his dick, faster and faster. Isak feels like he’s on fire, and knows he can't last long. – Uh… I’m gonna... he pleads.

Even keeps sucking him, taking him deeper and faster as he does. It’s sloppy, and wet, and Isak can’t hold back. He ends up unloading into Even’s mouth, feeling tingles rush through his whole body. And Even… Even looks so pleased.

Isak is still breathing heavily as he sits up. – My turn, he breathes. Then he presses Even back against the bed and shifts so that he can lean down more easily, lightly nuzzling against Even’s dick. Even moans under him, and Isak dives down on his dick, tasting the salty intense flavour. Even moans and whimpers, and Isak loves that he’s able to make Even feel good like this. Again.

Even comes hard and fast, Isak gags on his cum, and he giggles a little, feeling lightheaded and breathless. He falls down on the bed next to Even. – Fuck, that was quick, he breathes. – We sure as hell can be efficient if we want to.

– We sure can, Even chuckles, still breathing heavily. He pulls Isak close and kisses him deeply. – Good to know in dire times, he says. Their eyes meet again, and they kiss each other with smiley lips. They lie side by side for just a moment, kissing, before they force themselves up to get to work.

After quick showers and more food and coffee from the counter, they are dressed and ready to go. Isak tries to focus on the here and now, and not think too much about the future. He knows they should talk, but as they stress to get ready, he knows the timing isn’t right.

At the last minute, Even grabs three big bags.  – Your Christmas presents, he says. – We didn’t get to look at them all, but – 

Isak shakes his head smiling. – I checked your list, Even, it’s perfect. Thanks. 

Even smiles and nods. – Of course you did. So. Do you want to take the presents home before work?

The question is unspoken, but there:  _ Do you want us to go to work separately? _

– Nah, I can take them home later.

Isak doesn’t want to go home, he wants to go with Even on the tram. He wants to spend as much time with Even as he can, to be honest. Plus, he knows that they have a lot of stuff they need to talk about.  – If that’s okay with you? he adds, just to make sure. 

– Yeah, Even breaths, and looks pleased. – Yeah, that’s okay. 

They throw on their jackets and shoes and get going.

Since they are both carrying the bags with Christmas gifts, they can’t hold hands on their way to the tram stop, but Isak doesn’t mind. The looks and smiles they send each other are giving him tingling feelings in his belly the entire time.  On the tram, they miraculously find seats next to each other.  

– We should probably talk about some stuff, Isak says, as they sit down. Because he has learned. Talking is good. And he’s desperate to figure out what Even wants. He puts the bags in front of them, leans back and slides his arm around Even’s waist. Even’s side is pressing against his, and their long legs are entwined.

Even smiles then. – Yeah, probably. What are you thinking about?

Isak thinks for a moment. – Just… Things happened kinda quickly yesterday. 

– And this morning, Even grins. 

Isak can’t hold back an answering smile. – Yeah. And I guess I just want to know that this is for real? That we’re trying this now, right? This is not a temporary thing, right?

Even looks him in the eyes. – This is not a temporary thing, he says. 

He looks so sincere. Isak can’t help twining his fingers with his. – That’s good, he says, and releases a sigh. Damn, he must have been more nervous than he realized. – I don’t think it is temporary, either. So, are we going to tell the others? Like Eva, for instance? And… should we keep PDA away from work or what?

– Ah, yeah, Even says, and looks like he’s thinking. – I’m okay with telling people if you are.

Isak nods. If he’s with Even, it feels like he could manage anything. And, after all, he has come out to Eva and Jonas already. – Yeah, me too, he says. 

– And I guess… Even continues, as he looks contemplative. – I liked kissing you in the stockroom that time, but maybe we shouldn’t kiss and hug too much at work, especially now that you’re a manager and stuff? There has to be some policy about dating at work, right?

Isak nods, not quite sure if he agrees or if he’s disappointed. Both, most likely. He smiles a little. – Probably, yeah. So no kissing at work, then. 

Even meets his eyes. – Well, let’s have that as a goal, anyway, he says, and laughs a little. 

– Yeah, Isak laughs, too. – It’s going to be fucking hard to keep away. 

He has no idea how hard. 

They have only been at work for a few minutes when Isak first feels the need to kiss Even. They are standing at the counter getting everything ready, and the shop isn’t even open yet. Isak leans a little closer, but Even just gives him a teasing, but warning look. 

– Are we going to be so strict? Eva’s not even here, yet, Isak complains. – She won’t be here until after lunch.

– It’s about habit, you know, Even laughs, and sneaks away. – It’s better to stay away all the time we’re inside this shop.

Isak only scoffs at that, and wonders how the hell he’s supposed to survive this.  

Luckily, the morning is quite busy, and Isak has to stay out in the shop to help Even with the customers. The customers also help him forget his desire to kiss Even all the time. Working with Even also makes him realize that they have this nice rhythm together, and everything works. It feels nice.

At lunch, Isak has time to open the shop’s email, he quickly discovers an email from Sara. She writes that she is grateful for the fair treatment, but has thought about it, and has decided to leave the shop. She says she could continue working if they need her but would prefer to leave immediately. She’s also attached a signed resignation letter. 

Isak sighs in relief.  _ Fuck _ , it would have been tricky to keep her, and this solves a lot. Suddenly everything seems so much brighter. He forwards the email to Jonas’ private email so that he can figure out what’s best to do.

When Isak goes out to the counter to tell Even, Eva is there already. 

– Hi, Isak! she smiles, and gives him a hug. 

If Isak hugs her a little longer than usual, just because he longs to hug Even who stands next to her, nobody needs to know. But fuck, he needs to get his shit together.

– Hi. Are you okay with the long shift tonight? he asks. 

– Yeah, sure. Seven isn’t that bad, Eva shrugs. She looks closer at Isak. – You look so pleased, and, I don’t know, excited? What’s up?

– Well, there are several things, Isak smiles. He meets Even’s gaze for just a moment. – First of all, I just got an email, from Sara.

– Oh… Even says, in an even deeper voice than normal. He leans to the counter next to Isak, and his hand is only inches away. – Good news?

Isak nods, as he looks away from Even’s hand. – Yeah. She’s quitting. Actually, she thanked us for treating her fairly, and then she quit. She asked if she could leave immediately, but will work here for a while if we need her to. I’m going to let Jonas decide what’s best.

– That’s just great, Eva grins. – It would have been so weird here if she stayed. But what else?

– Huh?

– You said several things?

Isak looks at Even, and smiles wider. Even bites his lip and smiles too.  _ Go ahead _ , his eyes say. So Isak does. – Well, Even and I… he starts.

– We have a thing, Even finishes. – We kind of figured out a lot yesterday. And today. 

Eva stares at them with wide eyes. – Really? she shrieks, smiling widely, and hugs them both. – Fuck! You two? I never thought you’d do anything about it! I’m so glad for you, guys!

She bombards them with questions. Isak and Even blush and laugh and try to answer all of them, without saying too much.

– I thought you would be all over each other, though, she says, after a while. She studies them closely, as they stand next to each other, not touching.

Isak shakes his head. – No PDA at work. Even says so.

– We agreed, silly, Even laughs, and bumps his shoulder into his. The innocent touch alone is enough to give Isak a fluttery feeling in his stomach.

– Yeah, I know, Isak groans. – I’m not so sure anymore. 

– I know, me either, Even chuckles. – It might get difficult. 

Eva sighs. – Well, it’s probably smart of you to be careful. Mixing work and… well, pleasure is kind of risky.

She looks a little lost, and Isak knows she’s probably thinking about Jonas. He lets it be for now. Soon they are all swamped with customers again, and don’t have time to talk much anyway. 

That is, they manage to make  _ some  _ time to talk, of course. He’s helping Eva get some albums from the back of the store, when she asks him:

– So everything is great between you? 

Isak nods. He sends Even, who’s in the other part of the room, a glance. When Even meets his eyes and smiles, Isak can’t help smiling back. – Yeah. It really is, he says. 

Eva smiles. – You’re lucky, you know. And he is too.

– Thanks, Isak smiles. He knows he is. He picks at one of the snowglobes sitting on the counter. It’s broken, like several of them are. – Well, the only downside is the fact that he probably wants to buy me one of those damn snowglobes, he chuckles. 

Eva laughs. – Really? I could help him change his mind, you know?

Isak shrugs. – It’s a joke really. I wouldn’t mind at all. 

He fidgets some more with the snowglobe, as he thinks about how supportive Eva has been lately. He wishes he could give something back. To just give her a Christmas present (that Even bought) doesn’t quite seem like enough. – But uh… you know you can talk to me if you have stuff you’re thinking about too, right?

Eva looks at him then, and smiles. – Yeah. Thanks, Isak. I will. 

And then she’s off, charming some new customers. 

In another silent moment, Isak makes a totally unnecessary walk over to Even, who’s still in the other part of the shop. He’s concentrating deeply on sorting albums, his hair bounces and looks so soft to touch and Isak desperately wants to pull him closer. 

– Hi. So. Uhm. How are you doing today? Isak asks.

– Fine, Even says, and grins widely. – Why? 

Isak blushes. – No reason, really. That’s just good to hear. I’m the manager, you know. I should know.

Even laughs then. – You came over here, just to ask me how I am doing? 

Isak sticks his chin out. – Yeah. 

Even’s smile could have melted anything. – Nice. 

Isak swallows. He knows he should go, but he just can’t. Not yet. – Yeah. So. You look good.  I like your hair.

–  Thanks, Even says, and raises his eyebrows teasingly.  –  I grew it myself.

Isak huffs. –  Hah. Okay. I’ll go now.  

Even takes his hand and holds him back. – Wait, he says, grinning.  – I must say...  Your charm is quite overwhelming this morning, Isak. It’s like I’m getting a new side of you, really.

Isak laughs. – Yeah well. Don't let my charm fool you. I'm only here for the music, you know.

– What?? Even laughs out loud, and Isak laughs with him. 

Isak watches Even’s wide smile. He wants to kiss Even so badly. But he knows he shouldn’t. – I’ll let you be, he says, still smiling. –  We're doing good business today, and I expect more. It's going to be tough. So uh… don't overdo it.

He blushes when Even gives him a strange look and a small laugh. – I’m good, Isak. You know that, right? I know when I should take a break and stuff. Promise.

– Yeah, I know, Isak says, with a chuckle.  He knows he’s being silly. But he just can’t help it. He wants to fuss over Even and protect him and make him happy. He wants it all. He might have to learn to let Even be at times, too, but, fuck it. 

He gives Even a small kiss on the cheek before he walks away. 

– That’s PDA, you know, Even yells after him. 

– Well, sue me, Isak chuckles,  as he goes into the office to do some of the paperwork that’s waiting.

The last hours of his shift go quickly. 

When he leaves the office again, to get ready to leave, he catches Eva and Even talking by the counter. 

– So, can I ask a favor? Eva asks Even.

– Sure, Eva, he says, and gives Isak a nod, just to show that he’s seen him.    
  
Eva smiles at Isak, before she continues. – I wanted to buy one of those snowglobes, but Isak tells me… you took the only one that really works.

Even sends Isak a long look. – That's right. I bought it for... someone.   
  
Eva sighs dramatically. – Then let's drop the whole thing. You see, I thought of giving it to my uncle for Christmas.

– I'm sorry, can't you give him something else?

– It's not so easy. You see, I don't like him. Still, I must give him a present. I thought if I have to give him a present...I might as well give him something he won't enjoy. The snowglobe is worth it to ruin my uncle's Christmas. 

She chuckles when she sees Even’s big eyes. – I'm sorry, Even. I forgot you always liked them. 

Even grins. – No, no, Eva, he says. Isak can see that he’s amused.  –  Speak freely. If you were me...what would you give someone… special?

He sends Isak a lingering look, one of those looks that gives Isak a tingling sensation in his belly. 

Eva laughs and steals a look at Isak, too. – That's hard to say. What would you say to the idea of… let's say, maybe a wallet? Or a nice book, maybe. 

Even smiles. – Right. That's an inspiration, Eva, thank you. You know that I’m a professional Christmas shopper, right? I know stuff like this. 

– Yeah, but… This is good advice. You can't miss. If I got a wallet, I would be… really happy.   
  
Even just shakes his head, laughing. – Thank you, Eva. I'll think it over.

Isak laughs at them both. 

– Isak, you'll get the wallet, Eva whispers to him. Isak shakes his head. Even’s expression has told him otherwise. Isak knows that he’ll get the snowglobe, and the thought isn’t that bad anymore, to be honest.

Isak is shaken out of his thoughts as Eva turns around. Jonas enters the shop. He looks a little paler than he normally does, but apart from that he seems fine. He smiles a wide smile to them all. – Yo! Wazzup?

– Jonas, what are doing here? Eva asks. – Since when are you back?

Jonas smiles. – I'm supposed to be a pretty sick man, that's what my doctor tells me. But after all, it's almost Christmas Eve, and I just couldn't stay away any longer. 

While Eva goes over to Jonas to talk some more to him, Isak leans on the counter, next to Even. 

Even bumps his elbow into him then. – Eva wasn’t very subtle. Do you two really think that I’m going to change my mind about your Christmas gift? 

Isak laughs. – I’m sure Eva means well, he says. Then he leans closer to Even. – But please don’t change it. I want that snowglobe now. It reminds me of you, you know. 

Even smiles, and his eyes roam Isak’s face, and Isak is pretty sure that Even wants to kiss him. But he doesn’t. He just pats Isak on his shoulder.

Isak’s distracted when he notices that Jonas is walking around the shop, talking to customers. He’s probably doing a lot more than he should. 

Isak walks over, and pulls Jonas to the side. – Jonas, take it easy, yeah? Don't overdo it.

Jonas laughs. – No, I'm not. I'm not a fool. I just… came around to find out if the shop was still here. And then I’ll go. It’s just been a little quiet lately. It feels good to be back here.

– That’s good.

Jonas looks around. – You’ve done a great job, Isak. You should be proud. Thanks. Earlier today, I was a sick man. But you, guys, you're the best doctors.         
  
Isak must laugh. – Thanks, Jonas. It’s good to see you back to yourself again.

Jonas nods, and pulls Isak into a hug. – You know, yesterday, when I received the little Christmas tree you all sent me… And Eva came and helped me to decorate, and Isak, you came and just hung around. It was… so great. I know it’s cheesy, but… you people… you are my home.

Isak doesn’t know what to say to that, so he only nods.

– I saw the email from Sara, by the way, Jonas continues. – You handled that well, too. I decided to think about it a little, but I’ll answer her tomorrow.

– That’s great, Isak nods. – It’s a relief, though, right?

– It sure is, Jonas nods. He looks closer at Isak. – And how are you doing? You look… happier than you did last night? Has something happened?

Isak blushes. – Well… uh… I got a text from Even when I left your place yesterday. So I kinda… went to see him. And it seemed like you were right. He was interested in more, too. 

Jonas grins. – Yeah? That’s great! 

– Yeah, Isak nods. He can’t help grinning back. – We even talked. 

Jonas’ eyebrows shoot up. – I bet you didn’t just talk. 

Isak laughs. – Maybe not, but we talked, too. And that was good. 

– Yeah, I know, Jonas says, and pats Isak’s back. He looks pleased. – It’s fucking great.  

Isak sees how Jonas’ eyes follow Eva’s movements. 

– So… How’re things with Eva? You still kinda like her, don’t you? 

Jonas shrugs, looking a little guilty. – I don’t know. It’s probably stupid, but I really like her. I always have, really. But yeah… It’s right after this thing with Ingrid, and… I don’t want her to think it’s a rebound thing, you know?

– Sure, Isak nods. – But you don’t have to marry her at once, you know. You can just… chill and… hang together a little. No harm in living a little, you know. 

Jonas smiles then. – I guess not, he says. – No harm in that.

He watches when Eva’s customer leaves the shop, and then he quickly follows them to close the door to the shop and shut it. Then he turns around to the others and raises his voice. – Listen up, guys, he says. Then he takes three envelopes from his pocket. – No Christmas is complete without a bonus. I've called you names on several occasions. I know I haven’t always been… easy. I hope that when you see your bonus, you'll realize that I didn't mean it.

They all cheer and give Jonas hugs and thank yous, and Isak feels like it’s Christmas for real. Not because of the bonus, but because Jonas is himself again, and he’s well, and it’s true; they do feel like family. 

– You know what, guys, Jonas says and smiles widely, – we'll close early and leave the shop just as it is until tomorrow. I want you all to go home now and relax a bit, so we have energy to work a little harder on the last days before Christmas.

– Wow, that’s great, Jonas! Eva says, smiling. – Thank you!

– Yeah, you know it only matters to Eva, right, since Even and I have been here since this morning, and our shifts are over? Isak says. 

Jonas laughs then. – I guess. But it was a nice gesture, right? 

Isak has to laugh as well. He meets Even’s eyes, and the amused sparkle in them makes Isak sigh. He really hopes he will be able to kiss Even again soon. 

– Well, I think I'll have a… little dinner tonight, Jonas says to Isak. – Christmas only comes once a year. How about joining me...and we'll break open a bottle of champagne together?   
  
Isak hesitates, as he looks at Even. – Jonas, I'd love nothing more...

– You have another engagement? Jonas asks. – No, not another word. I wanted to be sure that you weren't alone.

Isak smiles. – Thanks. How about Mahdi, or Magnus?

– Nah, they’re busy, but that’s alright, he says. Then he notices Even. – Well, Even. I assume you have something nice planned tonight?

Even winks to Isak. – Well, I am meeting someone, I think. 

Jonas nods as he catches their glances. He looks almost a little envious.

Just then, Eva comes over to them. She’s putting on her jacket. – Still hanging around the shop, Jonas? Can't get away from here, huh? I don't know how to thank you for that bonus and short shift and everything.

Jonas smiles and shakes his head. – You'd better hurry home, girl. You're probably busy too, right?   
  
Eva shakes her head. – Not really. The girls are busy, so I guess it’s going to be pretty dull, to be honest.

Isak knows that Eva easily could have spent time with someone if she wanted to, but he doesn’t say anything. 

– Uhm… Maybe you’d like to spend some time with me, then? Jonas asks. – We could eat and watch some Netflix and just… chill, you know? 

Eva smiles widely. – Sounds great! she says. – I'd love to!

– Come on, then. Let’s grab a taxi.

Isak holds Jonas back. – Wait, before I forget… Here are your Christmas presents. 

Jonas laughs as Isak fishes them out of the bags. – I’m really excited to see what your Christmas shopper got me! 

– You should be, Even smiles. – Isak was very thorough with the whole thing. Just wait and see. 

Both Jonas and Eva nod and smile, and look far too excited to get away. Then they are off to find a taxi. 

Isak breathes out, and looks at Even. – Time to go, then, he says. 

Even smiles. – Yeah. So. What’re your plans tonight? 

_ Spend every minute with you, if I can, you dork! _ Isak thinks. But he doesn’t quite know how to say that, so he shrugs. – Nothing, I guess, I’m just probably going to chill. 

Even raises his eyebrows. – That's a bit too intense for me, I think I'm just gonna take it slow and play Santa, deliver some gifts, and then go out to eat, and maybe even go to see a movie, but that's probably too dull for you. 

Isak laughs. – You think so?

– Oh definitely, Even nods, with a very serious face. – I already asked this other guy on this date instead, you see. I was his Christmas shopper. He turned out to be this really sexy stud. He’s cute, too. And funny. 

Isak rolls his eyes to hide how he loves when Even is silly like this. – Sounds like fun, he says, and it’s impossible to hide his grin. – So I guess it wouldn’t be so cool if I crash the party, then? I do have some gifts to deliver myself, you see. It could be practical. 

Even laughs. – Oh, but if it’s practical and you have nothing better to do, then I would love for you to come. 

– Great. 

They bring the bags with the presents with them out of the shop. On the way out, Even reveals that he has snuck some of his own gifts with him, too. 

– I might have planned this just a little, he admits, giving Isak a sheepish smile. 

Isak must laugh. 

But when they have locked the store behind them, and they stand there in front of it, he’s all serious. – Wait, he says, when Even is about to lift up two of the bags. – First, we have to do this. 

The traffic is busy outside and people are passing them, but Isak ignores it. He leans in, so his foreheads rests against Even’s. They stare at each other, deep into each other's eyes. It’s almost too much. Both their breaths are shaking. – Thank you, Isak says in barely more than a whisper.

– For what? Even replies, his voice low and husky. 

– For just… being you. Isak’s voice wavers, exhilarated from the tension between them. – Thank you for laughing and kidding with me, and thank you for… just being here. Now. I really want to kiss you. 

Even’s breath hitches. – I kinda guessed that. But I really want to kiss you too, you know. 

His expression is serious. Isak wonders if Even knows how desperate that makes him, how it makes Isak want to feel Even’s lips, tongue and every inch of his skin. Isak still holds back. He gently leans in, cups Even’s face, and kisses his warm lips. The kiss is so tender and sweet that it only makes Isak thirstier. The people passing by and the traffic melt away, and the moment is theirs. It’s like the kiss transports them to somewhere else, in a bubble where it’s only Isak and Even.  

They pull apart and take shaky, shallow breaths. Isak can’t take his eyes off Even’s lips. Unable to contain himself anymore, he holds Even's head in his hands and pulls him into a fiery and passionate kiss. Even’s hands work their way around his body and pulls him even closer. – We could just head home? he asks. 

Isak has to smile then, against his lips. It sounds tempting, but they have plans, after all. – Nah. We’ve got presents to deliver. And we’re going out to eat. Come on. 

Even groans.

Isak leans back and meets Even’s gaze. Gives him a teasing smile and raises his eyebrows. Payback for keeping him at a distance all day. – Are you with me?

Even rolls his eyes, but smiles back, and nods. – Always. 

So, they pick up their bags, and get going. They decide to go to Sana first, since she lives closest to the shop. They don’t really expect her to be home, since Eva said that all the girls were busy, but when they ring the doorbell, she’s the one to open the door.

– Uh, hi? she says, looking from Isak to Even and back again.

– I have a present for you, Isak says. – Just because.

– I have one too, actually, Even says. – And for Elias.

Isak must laugh when he sees how Sana furrows her brows. And everything is confusing and weird when they tell Sana about the Christmas shopper app, and she realizes that they have talked about it all. 

– So this is it, huh? she asks, as she shows them inside. – You’re boyfriends?

Isak’s and Even’s grins are answers enough. 

In the living room they see that all the girls except Eva are there, and they realize that Eva probably had told them a small lie so that she could hang with Jonas. Even charms the girls, of course. Isak loves to have Even with him, and to know that these people are Even’s too. Sana asks if Jonas has started to behave, and she must see on Isak’s face how good he feels about it all, because he almost doesn’t have to answer at all, before she says: – Good.

In the end, after exchanging gifts and hugs, they’re ready to move on. 

– Where are we going next? Even asks, as they exit the house. 

Isak laughs. – Something tells me that Mahdi and Magnus might not be as busy as Jonas said they were. 

So they take a chance and go to Magnus first. And of course, Mahdi is there, and they’re not busy at all. So they know for sure that Jonas has lied, too, just like Eva. 

Isak hands over the presents, and they stay for just a bit, laughing and joking. Afterwards, Even has some presents to deliver to Mikael, Adam and Mutta, even though they don’t really celebrate Christmas. They also make a visit to Eskild, who’s not even trying to hide his curiosity about Even and their relationship. When Isak finally tells him everything, Eskild gives Isak a long and warm hug. 

Afterwards, Isak feels drained. It’s a lot of fun and all, but he feels that he’s ready to get back home, to eat and get Even to himself. He has been craving it since the kiss by the record shop. Hell, he’s been craving it all day.

– Enough for today? Even asks, and Isak only nods. They have delivered all the presents except for his family, and that can wait for another day. 

Even seems pleased, as he laces Isak’s hand in his. They head towards Even’s place, holding hands and talking about their friends. It feels so right, and so natural, that Isak can hardly believe it. Sure, he still feels pangs of nerves or excitement. This thing happening between them is fairly new after all. But it still feels like they belong together. The fact that they used to bicker and argue about everything seems like a lifetime ago.  

– Was great to see Jonas back at work, Even says, after a little while. – We have a boss again. So, how did you like being in charge? Was it alright?

Isak smiles a tired smile and leans into his shoulder for a moment. – Yeah, it wasn’t bad. But it’s good to have Jonas back. I like the tasks I have now, but I have no desire to be boss. 

Even seems to agree. – Me neither, he smiles. – Have you decided what you want to do?

Isak shrugs. – I don’t know. I might not want to work full time in the shop forever. I might go back to my studies, actually. 

He realizes that he means it almost the moment he says it. He would like to study some more, and he’s not afraid to try anymore. It’s like it’s much easier to take a decision, now that he knows that he has several possibilities. 

– Yeah? Even says, still smiling.

– Yeah, I think so. I’m not in a rush, but I think I could do it.

– Cool. 

– Yeah. And that could help with the no PDA at work problem, too, Isak laughs. I still might want to work part time, but we won’t have to avoid kissing each other all day, every day.

– True, Even chuckles. – It was so hard today, you have no idea...

Isak’s heart skips a beat. It’s silly, but he likes to hear that Even has struggled just as he did.  

– So… What about you? Isak asks then, as he twines his fingers with Even’s.

Even just smiles. – I kinda love working in the shop, to be honest. I secretly hope that I can get more responsibility for advertising, design and stuff like that. 

– Well, now you know you have to ask Jonas directly. Preferably when he’s very grateful. It worked for Eva, you know. 

– Hah, yeah. 

Isak thinks about Even’s interests, and his creativity. It’s silent for a moment before Isak dares to ask. – But what about your filming?

Even smiles. – I’m happy to keep that as a hobby. At least for now. 

And Isak realizes that what’s the right choice for one person, can be wrong for another. For Isak it’s right to follow his dream, while for Even it’s right to keep the dream as a dream. And maybe that’s alright.

– Great, Isak smiles, but then he’s interrupted by his stomach, that is rumbling.  – You promised me a date, and a date involves food. Let’s go get some kebab.

– Oh yes! Even grins.  – I  _ love  _ kebab. You’re pretty amazing, do you know that? 

Isak grins back. – Yeah, I know, I’m the best. I know just what to do to win your heart. Well, after I have acted like an idiot for weeks.

Even laughs, – You call me a dork, but you're such a dork, too, you know?

– Yes, Isak agrees. – But I'm YOUR dork.

– Yeah, you are.

Even tilts his head enough to bring their lips together in what he probably intends to be a gentle kiss. But Isak can't resist Even’s luscious mouth so he snakes his tongue out and licks his bottom lip. Even moans into his mouth and Isak is lost. Even’s kisses set his body on fire with the raw sensuality of them. Even has to be the one to break the kiss because Isak never will.

– Kebab, Even croaks. – But we're coming back here. Eva claims that your bed is as hard as a rock.

Isak gives Even a long look. – My bed's not the only thing that's as hard as a rock, he teases.

Even huffs a laugh. Then he meets Isak’s gaze. – Good. I've got just the place for that.

Isak freezes and pivots on his heel to face him. – Seriously?

Even stops walking, shifts on his feet, chews on his bottom lip. – Yeah. Is that okay?

Isak moves in a rush and has his body pressed into Even’s from neck to knees in less than a heartbeat. Isak digs his fingers into Even’s silky hair and holds on for life. – You want me to top? he croons. – You want me inside you, Even?

– Yeah. I kinda like it both ways, so.

– Holy fuck, Even.

Isak’s voice is so strained with desire that it sounds like someone else entirely. – That is so okay, I can't even begin to tell you. You are so fucking... perfect for me.

Even rewards him with his lopsided grin. – But, Isak, you've got a big dick, so you're going to have to take it easy on me... At first.

Isak growls, – I am so close to saying, 'Fuck the kebab' and dragging your gorgeous ass back inside to fuck that instead.

Even smirks. – You promised me kebab, Isak. Feed me first and then you can spend the rest of the night making love to me.

Isak takes a deep breath to try to calm the blood pounding through his system. – Making love, huh?

– Yeah, making love. 

Isak locks gazes with Even so he’ll have no lingering doubts about how much Isak means what he’s saying. – Yeah, okay, Even. We'll feed you first and then we can make love. But for more than just the night. Okay?

Even’s eyes are wide and a smile lights up his face. – Yeah. Okay, he says and takes Isak’s hand. – So, does this mean that we’re boyfriends now? he asks. 

Isak smiles widely. – Yes, it does. We already told Sana, silly.

– Yeah, I know, Isak, I just wanted you to confirm it. Again.

Isak couldn’t help but giggle. – Yeah, Even, we’re boyfriends.

Even grinned. – So... I should probably find something better for your Christmas present, then. 

– Isn’t it the snowglobe? Isak asks. – I  _ want  _ the snowglobe, Even, you know that, right? 

– Sure, sure, Even laughs. – I guess I shouldn’t expect something from you, anyway. It’s not like you can ask your Christmas shopper to help you. 

Isak grins. – Well I did find something, he says. – It’s… nothing much.

Even smiles to that. – Nothing much sounds just fine. 

They walk, hand in hand, smiling and hiding their Christmas secrets, and Isak has this bubbling feeling inside, as he thinks about how he managed to contact Mutta and buy back that snowglobe he bought when Even was sick. It’s just a silly thing, of course, but it makes Isak happy to think that the two of them will give each other the one thing that reminds them of when they first met. 

– We can always find time to give each other more gifts, right? he says, as they go into Bislett Kebab. 

Even squeezes his hand.  – We sure can.    
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. Please leave me a comment if you like it or not! :) By the way, you can find me on Tumblr as [@crazyheartfics](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/crazyheartfics) and on Insta as [@crazyheartfics](https://www.instagram.com/crazyheartfics), too.


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